Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Do you and your family eat dinner around a table ?

238 replies

Nicebitofsquirrell · 23/03/2023 16:13

Meal times have changed a lot in the last decade I think, parents are working longer hours, kids are doing more evening activities and the ides of eating around the table and talking about your day seems very foreign to a lot of children. It's not uncommon for primary age children to have never eaten at a table before and they've said they eat on a sofa with the telly on.

Do you and your family regularly eat around a table and discuss your day without a TV or radio on?

I used to really enjoy it when I was younger and when we stopped because of work patterns it made it much easier for me to hide my ED as no one was watching my food intake.

It's definitely something I want to bring to my family

OP posts:
LightDrizzle · 23/03/2023 16:39

Yes, they've flown now but DH and I still always eat at the table. Even when I was a single parent with just one child eating (DD2 is PEG fed) I cooked and we ate at the table. No TV on. No radio on (and I'm a Radio 4 addict) but often music on low.

Friday's were an exception, Fridays were fish & chips and we ate them watching Friday night TV. DD1 says she will do the same with her children in turn.

Reasons why it was important to me:

  • Along with car journeys, throughout her life it has been the best source of spontaneous conversation and connection. It meant we came together at least once a day (often more) and talked at leisure. I was really glad it was entrenched when we got to the teenage years.
  • It models good eating habits and table manners. Also, although what i'm about to say may be wide of the mark, DD1 went through a stage of borderline disordered eating in her teens when EDs were rife amongst her peer group at school but because we had always eaten together, I didn't have to reintroduce family dinners which would have rightly seemed like a supervisory and stressful measure. I can't know, but I think it probably made it a little more difficult for the disordered eating to spiral into a full blown eating disorder. Of course that isn't a given and many people with EDs will have come from families where they shared mealtimes.
Original poster
Nicebitofsquirrell · 23/03/2023 16:40

soffa · 23/03/2023 16:37

How to people navigate work/commute & dcs early eating times?

Either eat a small snack with the kids and then your meal later or all have a later dinner time.

I really value being able to model good behaviour at the table and to do that I feel I need to eat something, however small with them so they can copy me etc

OP posts:
FrenchandSaunders · 23/03/2023 16:42

When DDs were younger we tried to do this most nights, radio was always on though, we like a bit of background music. When they hit the teens, phones were banned at the table.

These days, with one away at uni, and the other often working or out, we eat at the table much less. Occasional Sundays, Mothers Day, etc.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
premicrois · 23/03/2023 16:42

You can always do catch ups and chats on the morning commute to school before bed etc

That's an interesting take on how other families communicate with no table.

I'm not trying to be defensive but we are very communicative as a family and as a parent I always made sure I was available to listen.

BettyBoopy · 23/03/2023 16:42

Yes every evening, me and the kids. Husband a few times a week as he works past the kids' dinner time.

soffa · 23/03/2023 16:42

Does everyone just eat early then or not have any commute?

starrynight19 · 23/03/2023 16:42

Yes every night except Saturday when we get a take away and slob in front of the tv.

Jules912 · 23/03/2023 16:42

Yes, though the kids eat at the childminders on day's they go but DH and I still eat at the table together. Sometimes if DH is working late/at the office on the other days he won't join us, but we try to all eat together.

Original poster
Nicebitofsquirrell · 23/03/2023 16:43

LightDrizzle · 23/03/2023 16:39

Yes, they've flown now but DH and I still always eat at the table. Even when I was a single parent with just one child eating (DD2 is PEG fed) I cooked and we ate at the table. No TV on. No radio on (and I'm a Radio 4 addict) but often music on low.

Friday's were an exception, Fridays were fish & chips and we ate them watching Friday night TV. DD1 says she will do the same with her children in turn.

Reasons why it was important to me:

  • Along with car journeys, throughout her life it has been the best source of spontaneous conversation and connection. It meant we came together at least once a day (often more) and talked at leisure. I was really glad it was entrenched when we got to the teenage years.
  • It models good eating habits and table manners. Also, although what i'm about to say may be wide of the mark, DD1 went through a stage of borderline disordered eating in her teens when EDs were rife amongst her peer group at school but because we had always eaten together, I didn't have to reintroduce family dinners which would have rightly seemed like a supervisory and stressful measure. I can't know, but I think it probably made it a little more difficult for the disordered eating to spiral into a full blown eating disorder. Of course that isn't a given and many people with EDs will have come from families where they shared mealtimes.

I genuinely think if my parents had been able to continue eating at the table it would've allowed me to get help a lot sooner. No one noticed (until id lost a large amount of weight) because no one was home/ having dinner with me.

I'm so glad your daughter got through it and you were able to monitor it so discreetly

OP posts:
SixPenny · 23/03/2023 16:45

Every meal, including sandwiches were eaten at the table, even high chairs were pulled up to the table.
It was something that both the husband and I insisted on right from the start.

CoodleMoodle · 23/03/2023 16:45

We normally eat at the table six nights of the week, with one on the sofa in front of the TV as a treat. Usually a Wednesday but sometimes a Sunday.

DH finishes work at 5:30 which is our dinner time. He WFH so he's there on time pretty much every night. DC are 9 and 4, DD does Brownies but no other evening clubs. On that evening we just eat a little earlier.

soffa · 23/03/2023 16:45

@Nicebitofsquirrell

Either eat a small snack with the kids and then your meal later or all have a later dinner time.

I often sit with the dc when they eat their dinner more often then not i'm talking to them whilst I load the dishwasher etc. but I thought your OP literally meant all eat dinner around the table.

Late dinners don't work for the dcs age - we do eat later on a Friday as they go to bed later plus they do quite a few activities

Original poster
Nicebitofsquirrell · 23/03/2023 16:47

soffa · 23/03/2023 16:42

Does everyone just eat early then or not have any commute?

I can see why it's not doable for people who have a 2 hour commute but if you finish at 5 and are home for 6/6:30 surely dinner at 7/7:30 isn't too late for most children over 5 with some time to settle and get into bed? Idk though it doesn't work for everyone but I want to try really hard to make it an ingrained family experience if able too

OP posts:
PonkyPonky · 23/03/2023 16:47

Every single meal time we eat together at the table. Even if children are on sleepovers and it’s just the 2 of us, we still eat at the table. It’s one of the best parts of the day unless I’ve cooked something someone is fussy about and then it’s bloody stress inducing having to sit there and see them moving the food about like it’s possibly poison and moan about eating it!

puttingontheritz · 23/03/2023 16:47

Every night we eat around the table, no TV, no screens, no radio. We aren't in the UK though, where we live it's just normal.

RoseslnTheHospital · 23/03/2023 16:49

Yes, evening meals every day, it's totally normal for us.

Original poster
Nicebitofsquirrell · 23/03/2023 16:49

soffa · 23/03/2023 16:45

@Nicebitofsquirrell

Either eat a small snack with the kids and then your meal later or all have a later dinner time.

I often sit with the dc when they eat their dinner more often then not i'm talking to them whilst I load the dishwasher etc. but I thought your OP literally meant all eat dinner around the table.

Late dinners don't work for the dcs age - we do eat later on a Friday as they go to bed later plus they do quite a few activities

Ideally it would be everyone together but some people have rightly pointed out that evening commutes/ later working hours can sometimes mean one person isn't always there.

OP posts:
Maryandherlamb · 23/03/2023 16:50

If we all eat together then yes. But my little ones usually eat at 5 if they're not at nursery so I'll sit at the table with them but eat later with my partner... which is in front of the TV quite often. I'm looking forward to doing table dinners as a family when they get older and we can push their dinner back a little.

Daffodilfrog · 23/03/2023 16:50

Yes , though the tv is often on .. we pause eating to try and get the Catchphrase answers at the moment .. which is fun and gets the teens talking

skyeisthelimit · 23/03/2023 16:51

I used to when DD was little but over the years we have evolved to eating off a lap tray on the sofa. We spend every evening together watching tv or playing board games or the switch so I am not worried about not spending time together or talking etc.

As a child, all meals were eaten round the table, and if I had guests around now, we would sit around the table.

It can be an important bonding time though, and when I had support from a local family support network when DD was in primary school, the support worker stressed how important it was to sit around the table and talk, with no other distractions.

BreviloquentBastard · 23/03/2023 16:51

We didn't when my daughter was younger because she had dinner so much earlier than us. I can't eat before about 19:30 at night.

Now she's a teen we do, often just she and I as my husband works away a lot. It's nice though, just chatting and eating - helps us eat more mindfully too rather than just shovelling food in our faces in front of the TV which I used to be very prone to do!

soffa · 23/03/2023 16:53

@Maryandherlamb mine have to eat by 5:30 really as school lunch break is pretty early.

Wenfy · 23/03/2023 16:55

Yes every meal around the table as a family where possible.

ZacharinaQuack · 23/03/2023 16:55

We do, and have shifted our dinner time to earlier now we have DC so we can model good eating habits (i.e. it's not just about conversation etc., though also that). We did baby-led weaning and all have (more or less) the same thing. Coming home from work we just have to make sure we have a repertoire of really quick easy things to get it on the table by 6ish - I can now make a stir-fry in 15 minutes including chopping everything up!

mackthepony · 23/03/2023 16:55

Yes. Sometimes I wonder why we bother as it's pretty feral but that's what they recommend so hey ho