Can I stop this woman seeing/talking to my child?

[MalamutePup]

DC's biological father has no contact with DC (his choice not mine) but his gf has decided she wants to have contact when he's not there. He won't allow contact if he's present as that would mean he has to have contact, which he does not want, so arranging proper evening/weekend contact is not possible.

DC(14) has skipped school and gone to her house and she has phoned in sick for DC, she has bought DC vapes and WKD, allowed DC and DC's friends round her house during the school day whilst DC is bunking and has encouraged DC to lie and hide their relationship, hide DCs discord account from me etc. I think this is out of wanting to be cool step mum rather than anything more sinister but DC has serious MH issues and SEN so is more vulnerable than most 14 year olds and sees things as very black and white, so if its OK to lie to me about that, bunk off there etc DC thinks it's OK to do that with other people too, which makes it hard for me to keep them safe.

I have explained this to the gf and asked her to back off but she says she will continue to allow DC to her house as and when she sees fit and that it's not my business who DC talks to and when.

Is there anything I can do?

Gf does not have parental rights
Inform the school that she does not have parental rights etc and that they should not be accepting her contact re absence etc

I think you should get some legal advice about the other aspects - it’s not ‘cool step mum’ as she is not biological mum and there is no court order accepting her as having parental rights

Contact the police. She is providing your dc with alcohol and drugs.
She needs warned off.

Hang on.... She's buying vapes and alcohol for your 14 year old CHILD?

Police would be my first call

Police she is grooming him turning him against his mother

I would call the police too. It sounds like grooming and is really weird. How old is she? How long has she been in your sons life?

She's grooming your child. You should contact the police and maybe ask if there's someone at the school you can talk to about safeguarding.

I'd call the police too, that doesn't sound like a healthy, normal or safe situation.

This is grooming and abuse. Call the police. Your poor son is vulnerable.

Contact their school and ask for advice.

@FlippingMarvelous she's is 26, has been dating DCs father about a year but only really started getting in contact at Christmas.

I agree grooming. Contact the police and school. You need to make sure school always rings you if your child is off school and if s/he isn’t with you then you need to contact the police every time s/he is missing.

Thanks all, police was my first thought but then I wasn't sure if I'd be wasting their time.

School safeguarding team are aware and the last time she phoned in on DCs behalf phoned me to check, but they didn't have any advice.

I wouldn’t be happy about this at all. If she was older and had been in his life longer I would agree that she is trying to be cool stepmum. But this situation sounds just weird, it’s a stretch to think she’s a stepmum figure when she isn’t that much older than your son and barely knows him in that amount of time.

I would contact the police. She is grooming your child.

This.

Police. This woman is giving alcohol to a minor. She is a nut. Definitely raise this with the police.

There is something really weird about an adult who wants to hang round drinking and smoking with a child, when they should be in school.

Don't pass it off as her trying to be "cool stepmum", it's very very odd behaviour. Get whoever involved that you need to in order to protect your child.

Absolutely contact the police!

Is it son or daughter you have OP?

This is a massive safeguarding issue. If the school won't listen, then you need to contact the police. And I very seldom advise contacting the police.

Yes you can.
safeguardinghub.co.uk/child-abduction-warning-notices-cawns/
They used to be called 'harbouring notices' and can be issued to people who harbour young people. I know of people who were issued these notices for exactly the behaviours and attitudes you describe.

Your DC is being groomed. Seriously off-key behaviour.

Can you involve SS?

Can you talk to your ex and explain what’s happening and ask him to support school attendance.

Is it a safeguarding issue.

@Ihateworkingforthebastards thank you. That is exactly the information I needed.

@excelledyourself daughter, but they prefer gender neutral pronouns.

@WakeMeUpInspring I can. I haven't because I hadn't thought of it.