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No card. Just another thread

70 replies

Marchintospring · 18/03/2023 18:49

DS is 19 and away at Uni. I was a single mum for most of his life. No card arrived today so nothing for Mother’s Day ( he absolutely wouldn’t spend money on flower delivery etc).
I guess he might phone or email but it’s made me a bit sad.
Doesn’t everyone get their mums something unless they’ve gone NC or something.

OP posts:

Keepitweird · 18/03/2023 23:26

I'll WhatsApp my lovely mum tomorrow and Tbf she'd prob not expect anything more but then I'm late 40's.

Not everyone is hung up on a 'hallmark' day but if he knows it'd be important to you then that's different. However, we're not there yet so there's still time really - it's a bit anticipatory (is that even a word??!! Lol) to be worrying about it


Rowthe · 18/03/2023 23:28

WeWereInParis · 18/03/2023 23:16

Doesn’t everyone get their mums something unless they’ve gone NC or something.

Well no, I don't. But that's because that's what the norm is in our family. If normally he gets you a card then YANBU to be disappointed, regardless of what other people may or may not do/get.

We used to buy gifts for my mum when I was in secondary school.

Everything we bought was wrong and "wasting our money"

Once she made us return a gift and the shop wouldn't accept it back.

So we dont generally buy anything.

I bought her a huge bunch of flowers and she said I shouldn't waste my money.

Last year me and the kids bought a small houseplant for her, and she later told me it didnt grow. And we shouldn't buy her anything.

She just seems happier if we dont get her anything. I'm only really getting her stuff to teach the kids to get me stuff.

Might still take the kids to get her a small bunch of flowers though.


Lennybenny · 18/03/2023 23:35

My 19yo DS is in Uni as well. He's in Halls and asked if I was visiting him tomorrow. I said no as he's back next week anyway. He said he'd send a letter...but he has no idea where the post box is and nothing arrived today either. Ds2 is away with college and probably has no idea its MD tomorrow.
I'm also a single parent and I don't care what either of them do for me tomorrow. It can be nothing or a text or a card may turn up next week.
They love me. Forgetting a single day won't change the messages and hugs and laughs we have all year round. They don't need to validate their love and I don't expect them to...


SchoolTripDrama · 18/03/2023 23:52

Eightiesgirl · 18/03/2023 22:43

Moonpig do deliver on a Sunday, so you never know, there's a chance you could still get something.

Moonpig use Royal Mailxwho most definitely do NOT employ post men on Sundays! Maybe the odd parcel here or there but def not regular letters & cards


HatHairDontCare · 19/03/2023 00:01

SchoolTripDrama · 18/03/2023 23:52

Moonpig use Royal Mailxwho most definitely do NOT employ post men on Sundays! Maybe the odd parcel here or there but def not regular letters & cards

My partner has used moonpig to send a card and gift to his mum. He got an email from Royal Mail to say it would be delivered on Sunday by 7.30pm.


Eightiesgirl · 19/03/2023 00:03

@SchoolTripDrama I received a card and box of chocs from Moonpig for my birthday and it was a Sunday and it was a Royal Mail Delivery van. So, as I said before, maybe the OP will get a nice surprise tomorrow, fingers crossed!


PeekAtYou · 19/03/2023 00:31

My dd at uni just sent me a text phew!


Workinghardeveryday · 19/03/2023 00:36

Train007 · 18/03/2023 19:04

Younger people really are not into cards . Don’t take it personally.X💐

They really aren’t you know op. As much as I totally understand and I would feel exactly the same, I know that most younger people just don’t get the relevance of card sending.

Doesnt mean he doesn’t care or love you or you aren’t in his thoughts xx


Miajk · 19/03/2023 01:12

Marchintospring · 18/03/2023 22:35

I expected a card and a phone call.
We do chat on the phone anyway. I do think extra effort is required on birthdays and Mother’s Day. It’s just sort of polite to acknowledge your mother I think..

"I expected" well maybe rethink your expectations.

Jeez the way MN treats mother's day it's like you lot have forgotten you chose and wanted to bring children into this world and no one was holding a gun to your head asking for some kind of ultimate sacrifice. And now you need a card for the occasion. It's mad


EarringsandLipstick · 19/03/2023 01:51

TaraRhu · 18/03/2023 20:27

I hate Mother's Day in the same way I hate Valentine's Day. Essentially it's a commercial enterprise set up to make people spend money. And guess what, sometimes people with busy lives forget? Rationally, we should all forget Mother's Day. I'm sure people who are pretty awUl children remember Mother's Day and vice versa.

However, we aren't rational and I get why it hurts. So I'm sorry you feel hurt. But I'd give him a break. I can't think anything good would come of making him feel bad. Especially if he's generally a good son.

Perfect reply. I agree completely


Crumpledstilstkin · 19/03/2023 01:53

I remember once bringing a mother's day card with me back from uni at Easter because it seemed logical as a teenager. Would have been mortified to think my mum's feeling were hurt! Think my dad got a text. It's not any reflection on feelings, just teenage ignorance. If it bothers you just remind yourself their brains are still developing and part of parenthood is teaching social niceties then tell them it is normal to buy their mum a card...


notthisagainforest · 19/03/2023 07:16

Marchintospring · 18/03/2023 19:04

Should I say something though? He’s 19. I did used to tell him it was Mothers Day and he’d see me send my mother something. If he chosen not to or forgotten I can’t really say anything now he’s adult.

I wouldn't say anything. He will definitely know because social media will be awash with it ! He will probably call you today. Youngsters aren't really into cards I don't think I hope you have a nice day Flowers


Fortyninealmostfifty · 19/03/2023 07:36

My daughter is 11 yrs old soon 12.
She absolutely is not interested in even make me card or buy me one. The same with Xmas cards etc.
However she happily buys cards and presents for her friends with no problems.
She had some money and goes regularly into shop close to our house with her friends but only for sweets.
It wouldn’t occur to her to get her poor old mum a card.
I thought they would make them in school ( I work in another school and the children of the same or similar age they were making them this week)
Yesterday DH went to supermarket and took her with him, I was there too in background so she could choose a card, she was standing there rolling her eyes, could not choose any for ages, seemed not interested at all.
I saw other girls there slightly older ( teens) buying flowers, cards, chocolates with their dads or their GPs.
It felt sad.
Today no card for me, DH asked her where is the card, she said upstairs still non written in.
He made her to go and get it, she brought it down, it had no envelope, no written with Love in it, just her name, nothing else.
I said where is the envelope, she said it doesn’t fit as choose wrong one.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Just to add, we have a normal relationship, no dramas etc, I almost always buy her everything she wants,she has a good life.


EspeciallyDedicated · 19/03/2023 07:44

Mine's first year at uni too, he phoned last night and apologised for no card. I don't think he's ever posted a card in his life to be honest, DH and I do all the family ones, card giving amongst friends is always done by handing over in person if you are celebrating their birthday. He said he went into a card shop and it was packed and he panicked a bit and also didn't know if he had any stamps (I gave him some when he went last September). He probably also doesn't know where the letterbox is on campus because he'll never have used it.

As for it being all over social media - it isn't all over mine at all, he isn't a big user. I have had very few retailer emails about it this year and never read them anyway, the only place I really know about it from is the displays in supermarkets.

I really don't think you should say anything, he will realise and probably feel bad, but guilting him into feeling obliged to do something in future isn't the way, it'll just be a "mum will kill me if I don't get her a card" duty in future and you won't know whether anything he does do is because he wanted to or because he was on a guilt trip.


DustyLee123 · 19/03/2023 07:47

My kids don’t do cards anymore, and they certainly wouldn’t go to the effort of buying a stamp and posting one.
Its a message these days, not even a text that they pay for 🤣


PriamFarrl · 19/03/2023 09:07

He’s 19 and at Uni. His generation don’t send cards you’ll get a call or a text. He’s not a 5 year old making a card at school anymore.


Crumpetdisappointment · 19/03/2023 10:38

it is not necessarily a hallmark day
it has the routes in mothering sunday
one of my dc is abroad and i doubt she will remember
my youngest is always excellent at remembering, celebrating.
my oldest dc is making a meal
i am quite happy aobut this.


Crumpetdisappointment · 19/03/2023 11:05

actually i remember my ds cancelled the meal with short notice a year ago, i was very upset. but i have only just remembered!


SchoolTripDrama · 19/03/2023 11:30

@HatHairDontCare Yes because there's a gift in it! They do parcel deliveries on Sunday but not letters alone door to door


HatHairDontCare · 19/03/2023 11:38

SchoolTripDrama · 19/03/2023 11:30

@HatHairDontCare Yes because there's a gift in it! They do parcel deliveries on Sunday but not letters alone door to door

The point being that something could be delivered.

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