Why do people enjoy giving little children junk food?

[Tietheapron]

I am very much in favour of balance in all areas. DS is two. At the moment, we haven’t got a massively fussy stage - there’s a handful of things he doesn’t seem too keen on and I imagine this will probably expand as he gets a bit older before then (hopefully!) getting a bit more variety. So to give an example, on Thursday he had porridge for breakfast and then a rich tea biscuit at a music group we go to in the morning. Then had to go into the bank so he had to go in the pushchair - had a banana to keep him quiet! As a result all he wanted for lunch was maybe half a ham sandwich and a few baby crisps. Then homemade pizza with veg on for tea. I’m explaining this so it’s clear I don’t completely raise him on fruit grown from the garden and eggs from our own chickens.

But then this morning he ate a bowl of shreddies and then DH gave him a biscuit, actually going in the kitchen to get him one (so not like DS found them and hoovered one up.) Visit PIL and they try to ply him with mars bars and ice creams, big ones for adults. (We don’t see PIL often, not for this reason as they are actually lovely people but they aren’t local.) Brother came to see DS and took him for a walk in the park, ignored the water bottle and bought him a fruit shoot and fruit pastilles.

I don’t want to sound like a neurotic mum here and I’m sure plenty of people will say to get a grip, I’m lucky people are nice to DS but I suppose this is my question really - why does kindness and love have to be shown through food? Isn’t it enough to go to the park with him, to read to him, play in the garden (they do this too!)

I hate sounding like a killjoy but I really don’t want him associating everyone but me with junk food!

My family are like this. My kids have treats but my Mum and great Auntie insist on multiple things as if that’s how they have to show love. I have stopped complaining as it leads to arguments. I just make sure we don’t treat at home when they are seeing them. I’m overly aware as I was overweight from age 5 and I don’t want that for my daughter who is already ‘big’ for her age. She has slimmed down quite a bit recently but I don’t want her to have the issues with weight I have had all my life - also as a result if my great Auntie and others over treating!

YANBU. I’d definitely say something and suggest alternatives. I think Mars Bars are horribly sickly and I wouldn’t thank you for one myself, let alone giving one to a toddler.

My DH is always trying to give DS sweet ‘treats’, especially after meals, which I find really annoying. I think DH grew up with chocolate bars as a ‘pudding’. I’ve suggested offering fruit instead of chocolate for a sweet treat and offering chocolate as an occasional treat, but DH isn’t a fan of fruit himself. Thankfully, DS seems to be good at self regulating as a teen and things like a couple of selection boxes at Christmas will last him until Easter.

At least least give the child a hobnob the biscuit of god's. To answer your question it's all moderation after the age of 2. If you are uber strict with food/treats they will use their pocket money and gorge on treats. When they are older they will get independent access to junk food. If you ban everything it becomes more forbidden and exciting which leads to binging. I think the key yes is moderation.

If I have my nephew here I'd ask my sister what he would normally have to drink or cereal or snacks as I'd not want to overstep and me give him coke when he should have milk. Isn't that what most people do? Ask the parents what to give them if hungry or thirsty?

This is so lovely and a proper treat that's more about time with grandad than the actual chocolate

😂😂😂

Well they say you can't outrun a bad diet.

If you are uber strict with food/treats they will use their pocket money and gorge on treats

No. No, they won't necessarily. Same as that rubbish people spout about giving their 10 year old alcohol with meals so they learn to self regulate. Do you know what really happens? They learn to like sugar/junk food/alcohol.

This entire thread is weird and classic MN.

Everything in moderation.

Yes, I agree with this. But junk food is so much cheaper than it was 50 years ago so people buy and think that they are being loving. Infact, they are killing the ones they love.

It is so sad. Everyone thinks that it is just one treat, but they all add up and are giving the poor kids such bad habbits.

I do not think you can do anything about it without upsetting everyone and saying that they are not to give your kids anything without asking you. I would do that but most people aren't brave enough.

Not at 2, no.

The same happened to me when I was a baby, my great aunt kissed me and I ended up with a cold sore when I was christened. I completely know where you’re coming from as I have had cold sores at the worst of times. That said I still kissed my children, but if there was even the slightest hint of a funny feeling or a tingle then they were kept at arms length. One of the things I am happiest about for them is that they have never had a cold sore in their lives because I know the misery, but knowing the signs for how they start for me I was never putting them at risk. But I understand 100% why you avoided it.

That is so sad. Your family are killing your kids and unfortunately there is not much you can do without completing falling out with them. I really feel for you.

Opium? Tobacco?

But my parents were superstrict and I didn't do what you did.

I hear you ,and felt the same when my DC were young.However life isnt perfect and we are conditioned as a society to offer"treats" to each other esp lo! I think its difficult ,but now and then wont do much harm.If you stop him then you will create an issue possibly.While at home tell DH to not offer a biscuit(better still dont have any in the house!)On a separate note regarding teeth issues ,dont forget there is a lot of sugar in fruit as well.

That poster was me and I think nothing of the sort, thanks!
Neither you or I referred to a pissing rich tea biscuit as a treat 🙄 I was making a joke about it being a shit biscuit. Don’t make incorrect assumptions on what I feel.

I grew up in a family where heavy drinking was normal. Start drinking at 10? Give me a break I was allowed alcohol before I was 5. What happened with me was when I got to the age where my friends thought it was grown up to be drinking I couldn't see the point. I'm teetotal, alcohol has no attraction for me.

People vary, their reaction to things varies, I think it is hard to give a firm rule on these things.

My parents were very strict about sugar and they were a bit before their time with healthy eating - brown rice, olive oil, no processed stuff. I think when I worked in London I used to get two white toast with butter and a huge tea with sugar every day for breakfast, but I just never grew up with a sweet tooth so didn't eat loads of chocolate bars ever.

Well that's a bit more extreme. Wine with water like the French do - yes and now the French have lots of problems with alcoholism.

Completely agree with you. Yes, treats are fine in moderation, but they also just become a general daily bribery mechanism in a lot of cases. And the earlier they discover super sweet foods, the more used to them they’ll get. My 1 year old is still super excited for bananas and strawberries so I don’t see why I’d give him chocolate yet. I’ve not denied him a little taste here and there, but the excitement is the same as with fruit.

i used to nanny for kids and their grandad would bring cake half the time. If he didn’t bring it they didn’t want to know him, he was only welcome with cake.

They do , because their friends will be having the occasional junk food from the shop and they want to join in but they lack the self control as it's all new and exciting. My parents banned junk food I did this.

Nobody would’ve ever guessed 😂

No, not necessarily. They may have it with their friends but not love it enough to gorge themselves or buy it independently- my dd is like this.