My child’s school have changed the name of Mother’s Day to special persons day, what do you think?

[Rainbow03]

Have we gone mad or is this appropriate?

This has nothing to do with trans rights. It's to be inclusive of children who don't have/live with their mum.

I can’t imagine being 6 years old and recently lost my mum and having to sit in a class full of people drawing cards for their mums.I think I would be traumatised. It breaks my heart thinking about that going on in schools today, brought a tear to my eye. I don’t need a card from my daughter if it causes distress to another little person. If I want a card we can make one.

Its hard enough that my own daughters parents aren’t together and she is in a class where every other child’s parents are together.

Growing up without a mum, I was always asked what I wanted to do for the Mother’s Day activity, did I want to do it to take to mums grave, did I want to do something for someone else, did I want to do something different.
it is Mother’s Day and shouldn’t be anything else!

I'm fine with this. It would be awful to exclude children whose mothers aren't around for whatever reason.

@ArdeteiMasazxu My calendar says "Mother's Day" (UK) 19th.

Like I said a few pages back, I WAS that child. The child who endured whispering behind backs, the orphaned child who tried to cope but found Mothers' Day particularly traumatic. My school friends knew the story. The school probably did too, but this was way back in the 60s. Retitling a card wouldn't have been suggested. I refused to co-operate.

I would hope that if any child today is as upset about the whole card making process as I was, that they do have someone to talk to. These things have a habit of escalating into more trauma than it's worth - it's a card to a loved one, surely it can be phrased as such.

Yes it should be guided by them

I did this years ago and it had nothing to do with the trans debate (which was not in the news at the time!). I didn’t rename the day as such - just explained it was an opportunity to thank our mothers or other special adults that care for us.

It was done to include the whole school community. A boy in my class lost his mum to cancer when he was only 6. There were other children in the school that were in foster care or adopted.

I found that it went down really well and the boy who lost his mother made a card for his older sister.

Boiling frogs 🐸 🐸🐸…

It's Mother's day - I really don't get the obsession wit trans issues or being sensitive to a small minority. (Please hear me out!!)
We can't just wrap everyone in cotton wool- one day these poor children have to come to terms with having lost their mother or having 2 fathers or being raised by wider family.

They will come across Mother's or fathers day as young adults at work or with new friends - isn't it better giving them the tools as children to deal with it?

Children will still be confronted with both mother's day and father's Day on TV and in the shops. They will have to deal with it as adults for the rest of their lives. I don't think renaming it or ignoring it is the way to go.

So why can't they catch a bit of a break when they're in school?

I agree.

Quite. And perhaps particular schools are choosing to do it because they are aware they have a particularly high proportion of kids affected by not having a mother or a particularly sad case of a child not having a mother.

Surely most children are not doing their primary Mother's Day celebrations at school as it is Mothering Sunday. So it's really neither here nor there what the school decide to do.

@UniPsychle Talking to children, acknowledging that it might be hard for them and giving them choices in how to manage it is empowering. Hopefully in a way that will prepare them to cope with these 'celebrations' in adulthood.

If a teacher has 2 hours put aside to make cards, the scope is not there to do this sensitively, while managing the rest of the class, and all their needs, as they do the activity. I think this is a good point, but I’m aware that this sort of intervention is not one that could be done quickly, plus it may not be appropriate if a child is in the middle of sudden a change or a very difficult, potentially traumatic situation. Any traumatized child won’t be able to have a quick chat and be ok with this.

In my mind it’s far better to adapt the celebration and make it inclusive.

A teacher should know who their pupils live with and are being raised by.
A teacher should know if a child doesn't have a Mother in their life and should be able to have a quiet word with the child and ask if they would like to make a card for Dad/Aunty/Granny/Both Dads/Both Mums/Step-mum or whoever.
Jeez - that's not complicated.

It's MOTHERS day. Very sad of course for those that don't have one in their life for whatever reason but as a minoriy group it shouldn't affect the majority of us who want to celebrate it as MOTHERS day

I think it's a good idea and trying to be sensitive. My son is lucky and has a lovely mother (me!) and I don't think they make cards etc anyway at his school, but if they did, it's a large primary and there are definitely a few children who don't have a mother. A little boy on my street lives with his granny since his mum died and his auntie helps out a lot too. They are certainly his special people! I think most mums would happily forego their handmade card etc if there was a chance doing the activities was upsetting another little classmate who is having a tough time with it. I would be happy to receive a "Special Person Day" card or no card at all to spare the feelings of another child.

@Rosula
Children will still be confronted with both mother's day and father's Day on TV and in the shops. They will have to deal with it as adults for the rest of their lives. I don't think renaming it or ignoring it is the way to go.

So why can't they catch a bit of a break when they're in school?

I absolutely love your perspective.

Don’t be daft.

It’s framing things sensitively for children in foster care and the like, it’s got nothing to do with erasing women.

If the school has a number of looked after children, this may be the clearest way to address it without inflicting distress and alienation on primary aged children who have already been through a lot.

Exactly. There's a huge difference between seeing a generic advert for Mother's Day dinner in a supermarket and being asked by someone who should know you well (teacher) setting an activity of making a Mother's Day card for you, or singling you out for an alternative while all the other kids join in.

@Needmorelego trauma is complicated.

What if a child’s mum has just died? What then?

Why are schools even engaging with mothers/special day

it’s a personal thing for home

Pretty sad you should view a six year old girl traumatised by the death of her mother as a 'minority group.' Even that upsets me as an adult. Have some sensitivity.

It's MOTHERS day. Very sad of course for those that don't have one in their life for whatever reason but as a minoriy group it shouldn't affect the majority of us who want to celebrate it as MOTHERS day

You're an adult ffs...

Yes @happyinherts I’ve upset myself with this thread.