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Original poster

Can I have a handhold please?

57 replies

SpideysMummy · 17/03/2023 04:46

I’ve been awake since 3 and can’t sleep. DS(4) is having surgery today. Just a routine tonsillectomy, adenoidectomy, and grommets. I’m not even that worried about the surgery itself, it’s just the anticipation!

I’m worrying about how we’ll even get him in! He’s a very anxious child (likely ASD) and there are going to be so many hurdles this morning just to get him there. Getting him out the door, his fear of heights (lovely hospital building is all glass and views etc.), getting him to co-operate enough that he can be anaesthetised… I honestly don’t know how we’re going to do it.

And there’s so much riding on this. He’s been so unwell for so long. He wakes up coughing and vomiting all night. He’s got terrible sleep apnoea. He has such low energy. He has faltering growth and an eating disorder (which whilst it’s own issue is definitely not helped by not being able to breathe when he swallows). I have so many hopes pinned on this making him a happier, healthier little boy and I can’t bear it.

OP posts:
snitzelvoncrumb · 17/03/2023 05:20

Holding your hand. All the best for today. Hopefully once it’s over things will get easier.

carriedout · 17/03/2023 05:24

Oh so worrying for you Flowers

Of course you can't sleep, you'd be a robot if you could!

I think start early and just keep breathing. They really want to use the slot for him so they will help. They must have experienced this sort of response from a child before.

I really hope it works. If you remember/want to, let us know how it went.

Barbecuebeans · 17/03/2023 05:28

Does he respond to treats? Could you promise him something he loves as a present to get him to the hospital?

I'd leave plenty of time to get to the hospital, even if it means starting out hours before you need to. You can pack games to keep him entertained once you're there.

I hope it goes well. It sounds like it's been miserable for him with the tonsillitis and breathing issues and really hard for you too.

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Rainbowqueeen · 17/03/2023 05:43

Be as positive as you can in front of him. We are here for you when you want to vent.
Keep reminding yourself that it will be such a good thing for him. Pack fun stuff including any comfort items.

Hope it all goes well. My DD had emergency surgery at the same age and the staff were fantastic. You could even play games with him about the procedure eg how many people do you guess will ask your full name and date of birth? I guess 10, what do you think?

lancslass17 · 17/03/2023 05:45

Hand hold x
Stay positive, lots of smiles from you so he doesn't pick up on anything from you. (Fake it best you can)

Take his favourite teddy, blanket. Anything that makes him feel safe, book, game,. Could you get a new sticker book etc from hospital shop to play with while there.

Download TV programmes on your phone for him to watch (take charger).

On way to hospital I'd distract play I spy, or can you see (a red car, a dog etc).

If getting dressed is a battle today then he goes in his pjs.

Good luck x

Original poster
SpideysMummy · 17/03/2023 05:59

All ready, bags packed. DS awake and just watching a video on his tablet in bed (helps him transition from asleep to awake, otherwise he’s miserable). Going to get him dressed (he slept in joggers and a T-shirt so just need to throw pants and socks on) in a minute. Hoping to be out of here by 6.30!

OP posts:
whataballbag · 17/03/2023 06:17

You've absolutely got this. But you know that already.

It sounds like this op is going to do wonders for both of you! Please keep us updated Flowers

WorriedMillie · 17/03/2023 06:21

Handhold and hug from me, I will hold you both in my thoughts 🌸

cadentiasidera · 17/03/2023 06:30

Thinking of you both. I had my adenoids out aged 5 and it made a big difference to me, especially that I could actually eat properly! I still remember struggling to swallow before I had the operation. I also remember the kind nurses at the hospital who explained things and reassured me. I hope his experience is just as positive as mine was. Good luck!

Original poster
SpideysMummy · 17/03/2023 06:31

We’re out! He’s remarkably cheerful so far!!! Which weirdly is making me slightly more anxious for the point at which he snaps… but maybe he won’t?! (Hopeful!!)

DD(2) on the other hand is being a handful - I’ve had to resort to letting her play with a tampon in the car 😂

DH went out this morning to find one of our chickens was murdered by rats (definitely not foxes thankfully) which I’m trying not to see as a bad omen.

OP posts:
jusikejasper · 17/03/2023 06:37

@SpideysMummy wishing you and DS lots of luck today
My DS has had 4 anaesthetics in 4 years and i was dreading his latest one last November because he is the same age as your DS and also has ADHD, ask them to give pre med i think it was called, it makes them sleepy/chilled out (DS was so funny with it was talking so much rubbish and just laughing the whole time) made the whole thing so much easier especially when they took him down to theatre for the anaesthetic. Xx

BrutusMcDogface · 17/03/2023 06:38

Holding your hand, op. Watching your little one go under is hard. However, it sounds like it’s going to do him the absolute world of good! My friend’s little one is having the same op soon. Hope all goes really well 😊❤️💐

DidyouNO · 17/03/2023 06:45

I feel for you but also excited for you both. My eldest had this at 2yrs old. He was so poorly before. Always sick, coughing and barely slept. Or rather I barely slept for fear of him not breathing.
It was absolutely life changing for us both. He was a different child. Wishing you and your son all the very best.

Oinkypig · 17/03/2023 06:59

Good luck! Just be prepared you’ll probably have to hold him at some point during the anaesthetic induction. We always explain in theatre to little children that mummy or daddy have to cuddle them really tight to help keep them safe to get the medicine to go to sleep. The anaesthetic staff will be very experienced and will discuss with you how he will be going off to sleep.

It depends on a few different things about when you might have to help him eg. They might do a gas induction where you will need to keep him still for a few breaths and then at a stage he might get really wiggly but will be half asleep or help keep him still for a cannula.

Good luck it’ll be worth it in the end!

Original poster
SpideysMummy · 17/03/2023 07:42

So far, so good!

Can I have a handhold please?
OP posts:
Barbecuebeans · 17/03/2023 07:52

SpideysMummy · 17/03/2023 07:42

So far, so good!

Hey you're doing brilliantly.

What a cutie!

Keep focusing on the end result when he'll feel a whole lot better.

Rainbowqueeen · 17/03/2023 08:07

Little legend. I think he’ll really surprise you.
My DD still remembers her surgery. They told her they would give her special gas to go to sleep and she remembers thinking “no I won’t that’s stupid” and that it smelt like strawberries.

Good luck little man

Original poster
SpideysMummy · 17/03/2023 08:32

I’m not keen on our nurse. That’s bad isn’t it? DS needs quite careful handling and they are a bit abrupt. Everyobe else has been lovely though.

OP posts:
Justmeandthedog1 · 17/03/2023 08:41

Smile at her, carry on what you’re doing as it’s gone well so far.
The sleep/ breathing problems sound horrible for you and your ds so fingers crossed the op is transformative.

Original poster
SpideysMummy · 17/03/2023 10:38

DH has just taken him into the anaesthetic room. I didn’t realise I actually was very nervous until now.

OP posts:
carriedout · 17/03/2023 11:23

Nearly there! Give yourself a break and just try to deep breathe.

Sending your kids for surgery even when planned is very tough.

Sirzy · 17/03/2023 11:28

Look after yourself. Use this time while he is in surgery to get something to eat and drink.

ask about play specialists at the hospital they can be a godsend

Original poster
SpideysMummy · 17/03/2023 11:58

Had a massive Subway as soon as he went in 😂 Stress eating!

The next child has gone in so we’re waiting to be called to recovery. He’s not good at waking up so I’m not too alarmed that it’s probably taking a while for him to come round.

OP posts:
Original poster
SpideysMummy · 17/03/2023 12:24

He’s still not back. Definitely worrying now.

OP posts:
Igmum · 17/03/2023 12:25

Sending love and a handhold ❤️