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Original poster

I hate a co worker so much at work

56 replies

annoyed60 · 12/03/2023 12:57

Hi all
I really need help.
I work with my other half, Im his boss, we have been in a relationship for 6 yrs. Yes we've had our ups and downs but nothing major, until now!
A couple of yrs ago, a co worker showed interest in my partner, flirts, etc, nothing major but she always did it in front of me. Asking to see pics of him, asking me about private information.
This turned his head as it would do any man but I made it clear to him that I wasn't happy about him having cosy conversations with her and if he preferred her then I would walk away.
He assured me that he wasn't interested, and things calmed down. However Ive since found out they have little conversations when Im not there, He tells her about our relationship etc.
3 weeks ago she started again, asking me if he was at work, what time he finished etc, I just ignored her. I told him but he shrugged it off.
We always have our breaks together but this day he didn't tell me he was going for his break and when I went to the canteen he was sitting with her laughing and joking, I just left.
Later that day we had a massive row about it and his excuse was he was waiting for me.(he always came to the office before).
Anyway to cut a long story short, the next day he deleted me from Facebook and added her, no explanation, nothing. When i confronted him he said I'd annoyed him and he did it on a whim, Problem is he wont deleted her even though he says he doesn't even like her, He sent me a friends request which i told him I will not accept until she's deleted. He bluntly said well that wont happen. To me he's overstepped my boundary and because of his attitude over the last 2 weeks I've decided to end it, he doesn't seem bothered in the slightest, But Im having a hard time because to me he prioritised her over me.
Do I stick to my guns and walk away.

OP posts:
Jackieintheboxy · 12/03/2023 13:00

I would personally stick to your guns and walk away although it might be awkward at work if they start up a relationship...

It's a tough one. I think definitely walk away but I don't know what to suggest about the work relationship. Sorry op. How shit!

MissLucyLiu · 12/03/2023 13:00

Walk away !! Nothing in life is more important than a peace of mind!

CoraggioCara · 12/03/2023 13:02

This turned his head as it would do any man
**
Not true. There are some good ones.

Do I stick to my guns and walk away.

Your call of course but since you asked that seems like a good idea.

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Relationship problems
Fernanfrank · 12/03/2023 13:06

Sack him off, he sounds like a dickhead. Even if nothing even happens between them, he likes the ego boost she's given him. And right in front of your face is gross. I'd also seriously consider getting another job to be honest.

Fernanfrank · 12/03/2023 13:07

And agree with PP not all men's heads would be turned. Most committed men in fact wouldn't give this woman the attention she's after.

ClaireEclair · 12/03/2023 13:17

All of this sounds very immature from all three of you. What bizarre behaviour.

determinedtomakethiswork · 12/03/2023 13:32

I would definitely end it. However, I wouldn't really want to be working with the two of them all over each other so I would probably be looking for a new job.

unclebuck · 12/03/2023 14:00

He's a dickhead who expects you to do the 'pick me' performance. Fuck him off. Urgh

Igniteyourbones · 12/03/2023 14:02

How old are you? This sounds like 8 year olds in the playground.

aslkde · 12/03/2023 14:05

Walk.
And don't date your colleagues!

Smartstuffed · 12/03/2023 14:08

If it were me I'd end it with him His attitude shows exactly what he thinks. Leave them to it and should he ever start trying worm his way back in with you keep in mind what you're going through now.

neilyoungismyhero · 12/03/2023 14:13

You mention at the end of your post that he doesn't seem bothered about splitting..that should tell you all you need to know surely?
Maybe it's time to move on.

ScentOfAMemory · 12/03/2023 14:18

Your problem was never the colleague.
Now that your partner has gone, the lot of you get on with your jobs.

piedbeauty · 12/03/2023 14:24

This turned his head as it would do any man

Nope. Not a good man who prioritised you.

So he's prioritising some random woman over you.

I'd bin him. You're worth more!

GulfCoastBeachGirl · 12/03/2023 14:30

You're his boss? I'd tread very, very carefully then. This whole thing sounds juvenile, TBH. But you being in a senior position could be disastrous for you professionally if this situation blows up. Be careful.

PoliticallyCorrectCatCall · 12/03/2023 14:31

Are you 17 year olds working at Pizza Hut? All very childish OP. Get rid and get out.

SnackyOnassis · 12/03/2023 14:32

I'm amazed you've worked together so long given that it sounds like he's about 15 - who on earth at any respectable age is using friending/unfriending on Facebook as a weapon in their relationship?!
Doesn't that kind of repel you from him OP? I'd ditch the whole situation and date an adult.

IAteAllTheTomatoes · 12/03/2023 14:37

If you are any older than teenage, all 3 of you should be embarrassed at the childish behaviour.

If you don't feel respected in a relationship, give someone one opportunity to fix it, and if it doesn't improve, it's game over. If everyone realised that, there wouldn't be as many posts about outside about dreadful relationships that people put up with.

Coffeellama · 12/03/2023 14:39

You’ve ended it and he is fine with this, so yes stick to your guns and walk away!

Skyeheather · 12/03/2023 14:46

You have walked away and he's not bothered - because he has her to take your place.

Hold your head up and move on.

Watch out for him wanting you back when it all doesn't work out with her though - don't take him back.

xJoy · 12/03/2023 14:54

Wow, I think he's put you in a situation where you have to end it and get a new job. there's no way to salvage this. She likes him, he likes her. He deleted you so he could add her. You challenged him and he stuck to his 'right' to have her added.

Let them get on with it.

Channel Shakira, if he's going to look elsewhere he's going to do it, and being a very shabby little article by the sounds of it, he's going to do it under your nose and then defend it like it's his boundary.

Update your linkedin, go to see a recruitment agency. Do you live together?

Tell him to leave the house and you'll leave the job?

xJoy · 12/03/2023 14:55

Oh wait, you're his boss. Can you move him to another team?

Doesthepopeshitinthewoods · 12/03/2023 14:57

How old are you all?

He sounds like a juvenile dick because this:

This turned his head as it would do any man

is bullshit.

Tell him to fuck off. He sounds pathetic, she sounds like she enjoys winding you up, and the Facebook thing is bordering on teenage. You can do better.

MelloYellow · 12/03/2023 15:00

this is all so immature.

pickyourown · 12/03/2023 15:00

Yep walk away.
Threads like this remind why I am so glad I got rid of Facebook years ago. So immature

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