How do your 4yo cope in a supermarket

[BergamotMouse]

My DS is 4 and supermarket trips are a nightmare. Well, any shop really. He wants to go but when in there he works himself up into a frenzy. He still goes in the trolley seat as it would be impossible otherwise.
He wants to decide on everything, let me choose! No, I don't want that one etc.
We're not talking about sweets and chocolate, it's salmon and broccoli and everyday things.
By the end he's in such a worked up state I'm just desperate to get out of there.

If we can avoid taking him we do. We've tried to have consequences so for a time both my husband and I went so if he started shouting and melting down over the choice of apples someone would take him back to the car.

I think he's neurotypical but he does get overwhelmed easily and will wander around aimlessly touching things at home and opening cupboards which drives me mad.

I don't know whether it's something we can train out of him (we've really tried) or if it's just sensory overload.

I'm wondering how other 4 year olds compare.

It doesn’t sound normal for a 4 year old to me. Mines certainly never behaved like that, nor did any of my friends children. Is it only the supermarket he behaves like this or is this ‘your normal’?

Ocado rarely have subs I'd recommend.

I think you need to have him assessed, at the very least for serious anxiety.

None of the supermarket issues or behaviour you are facing sound easy or something you would expect for a child of four.

By age four, my DCs were able to walk quietly alongside the trolley and would not run off or grab items off the shelves. I had one DC who used to cry herself blue in the face in the supermarket, from age six weeks until about 2.5y. She calmed down after that, but I avoided taking her with me if I could.

I do my almost 4 year old his own list with pictures. He ticks off when we find things. I draw little pics and try to have them spread out around the shop so I can keep saying "ooh what's next on your list?"
I love this!

I don’t think it’s helpful to say how angelic your children are in the supermarket (pps).

I have four and the youngest is much, much more, erm, wilful than the other three. They are all different individuals. Same parenting.

My DD gets quite hyper in supermarkets - will try and skip about and I am constantly having to tell her to watch out for other people and be careful. But she is generally OK. She pays attention if I give her instructions and will generally tow the line. She likes to help put things in the basket. She likes to choose the fruit. She REALLY likes to look at the fish counter in great detail and wants me to tell her about why the fish still have their eyes in etc etc. We spend a long time staring at the fish counter. But its all a good learning experience for her I think. Even though its harder work shopping with her, I try and do it quite regularly because I think its an important thing for her to get used to, and its a learning exercise. I do use online shops for the big / heavy / boring items but I try and bring her with me as often as I can to get fresh food and its a good activity for her.

My kids are 7 nearly 8 and 4 and I NEVER take them shopping it's horrendous

Just go on your own or do a click and collect or hope delivery

I wouldn't put yourself thru it!!!!

My DD was a nightmare. A couple of times I emerged in tears.

For years I shopped online.

She was diagnosed with ADHD at 6 and to be honest it's still a nightmare now she's 13. We were in m&s last week and she said "right I'm off to the till". I'd told her in advance what we were going for (3 specific things) and got quite upset that she couldn't even manage that.

Shopping isn't to everyone's taste but from time to time it's nice to browse through the deli items and I NEVER get to when I'm with DD. Which is most of the time as I'm a single parent.

Three boys (all grown up now) but I used to tell them before they went in that they could have three choices. If I didn't want them having sweets I would make sure they had their three choices before they got to the sweets. Eg cereal, juice, fruit, bread or crisps.... Things they liked😁 never had a tantrum from any of them with this method because.. Sorry you've had your three choices 🤷 but to be honest if I could go alone I would as only 'me' time and found it relaxing so if after their bedtime fine by me!
Otherwise I'd recommend ocado, only used them since before Christmas as there was a special offer on but much better than the other online shops as they say straight away if out of stock and you can choose something else, hardly any substitutions at all.