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Original poster

Would you leave a 3.5 year old with grandparents for three nights?

73 replies

Embelline · 09/03/2023 21:05

Got a trip away coming up in the next couple of weeks and I’ve been so excited about it.
DS has stayed away for one night before without both of us, at his grandparents and barely missed us. He’s also stayed away from me for two nights before as well and been fine with his dad.

we are going for three nights and I was speaking to a friend today who was horrified as she said it’s so long and what if something happens to us? What happens if he gets unwell?

we aren’t going abroad, it’s a three hour drive from the grandparents so if we needed to we could get back same day easily but it’s taken the shine off the whole thing and I’m now feeling quite anxious about it.

I really want to go as H and I broke up last year and have reconciled recently so want some time together to kind of see where we are at and if we think things are going to work out (it’s been a long an bumpy time) but now I just feel really panicky like something awful is going to happen to him or us if we do!

OP posts:

Yulelogs · 09/03/2023 21:08

Yeah I would your dc will be fine!

Pearfacebananapoop · 09/03/2023 21:08

Yes I would - assuming he's familiar with them etc. go and enjoy!

santastolemycat · 09/03/2023 21:09

I think it’s fine! I work shifts and sometimes I can go 3/4 days without actually seeing my DS as he’s asleep before I get home and I leave before her wakes up.
He’s not any worse off for it and lots of people are in a similar position.

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martha4clark · 09/03/2023 21:11

Of course I would leave him! Go and enjoy yourself, he'll be absolutely fine.

CatMattress · 09/03/2023 21:11

Yup. In fact I did. He had a cracking time both times. He's 11 now and not traumatised in the slightest

Caterina99 · 09/03/2023 21:11

Your friend is crazy

As long as you trust the grandparents, they are happy to have DS for that long, and DS is happy to be with them, then it’s absolutely fine!

3 weeks holiday I’d maybe be a bit judgy (in my head, not to their face), but 3 days I’d just be a bit jealous they had such lovely helpful family and hope you had a great time.

JustSoTired23 · 09/03/2023 21:11

Yes. My eldest did at 7 weeks old approx ( couldn't be helped)
And regularly after that

Next child also stayed at DS and GPs from maybe 3 months old. Again then regularly

Youngest lockdown stopped that. Now absolutely will not sleep anywhere. We've tried we ended up having to do 10, 11pm and 3am pick ups!

I think it does them good too as well as parents

Verylongtime · 09/03/2023 21:11

Yes.

Ragwort · 09/03/2023 21:11

Yes of course. For various reasons I lived with my DGPs for three nights a week as a toddler ... I am now over 60 and suffered no ill effects.

Hbh17 · 09/03/2023 21:12

Why wouldn't you? He'll be fine AND it will be good for him.

Original poster

Embelline · 09/03/2023 21:12

Thank you, it hadn’t occurred to me he wouldn’t be. And what friend was insinuating - we could be in a car crash etc - that could happen at any time.

it just put the wind up me.

he adores his grandparents and I’m confident they would know what to do in any kind of emergency due to the jobs they used to do. They also look after his five cousins frequently!

I’ve been talking to him about it to prepare him and he’s excited as they’ve got lots planned and we are staying there the first couple of nights with him to get him settled etc. while I think by the third day he might get a bit wobbly wondering when we are back we are going to video call every day (unless it upsets him) so we will be able to tell him when we are coming home.

OP posts:

MajorCarolDanvers · 09/03/2023 21:12

Yes absolutely would.

Original poster

Embelline · 09/03/2023 21:14

THANK YOU.

you’ve all made me feel so much better. Not that I judge that she wouldn’t at all, I think as parents we all have to make our own judgements on what we are comfortable with - and I thought I was happy with it all until she acted the way she did and then I started wondering if I was being really mean leaving him for that long!

OP posts:

usernotfound0000 · 09/03/2023 21:15

Absolutely! My kids love going to grandparents and absolutely do not miss us one bit. Assuming they are familiar with them and the house then go and have fun.

Corah5 · 09/03/2023 21:16

If GPS were trustworthy and willing and able to cope, then I’d have no problem leaving my DC. Your friend is nuts.

purplediscolove · 09/03/2023 21:16

Absolutely, You can’t live your life through what ifs and as you said if needed you’d be back the same day. Plus they are trusted adults and you will not be in an accident on your way to anywhere!! I know people live like that and worry but that is a step too far to push it onto somebody else. You deserve the break as much as your parents and child deserve quality time and if they are okay with it go for it!! Xx

Teresa777 · 09/03/2023 21:19

Honestly don't give it another thought - we've had ours for several nights at a time and everyone's happy. It's an exciting wee holiday for him and some much need time alone for you and your DH - which inadvertently benefits your DS too! Your friend is just shit-stirring.

ShadowPuppets · 09/03/2023 21:19

He’ll be absolutely fine.

Original poster

Embelline · 09/03/2023 21:19

They are very trustworthy, adore all their grandchildren, are brilliant at entertaining them and have a great approach where the kids seem to show off and tantrum less with them! DS loves them too and talks about them all the time when we don’t see them, and is always asking to video call them to tell them his news

OP posts:

Nap1983 · 09/03/2023 21:21

My daughter regularly stayed with her grandparents for the weekend from one until now she’s 14. Loves it there, it’s a second home xx

SockQueen · 09/03/2023 21:23

He'll be fine. They might be knackered!

My parents looked after my two DSs, 6 and 3.5, for 4 nights while DH and I went skiing recently. Ended up being 5 nights as our flight home was cancelled. They all had a great time, though my parents were pretty worn out by the end!

romany4 · 09/03/2023 21:23

I'm a grandmother who has looked after my grandson for long weekends since he was 6 months old.
He's now 17months.
We have a lovely time together..

go on your trip and have a brilliant time!

coloursquare · 09/03/2023 21:24

Yes! If he were ill they'd look after him! Mine had a sickness bug in the night when at his grandparents and they said it brought back lovely memories of sitting up in the night years ago

Smarshian · 09/03/2023 21:24

I left my DD (5) and DS (3) for 8 days with grandparents last year. We went to America for a wedding, my DH was best man. We missed the kids and they missed us but they had a great time with my family. I wouldn’t think twice if you were able to travel back quickly.

flutterbyebaby · 09/03/2023 21:26

I have such great memories of staying with my paternal grandparents growing up, my nans cooking especially 😆 miss them so much, glad I got to know them so well

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