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Original poster

Would you leave a 3.5 year old with grandparents for three nights?

73 replies

Embelline · 09/03/2023 21:05

Got a trip away coming up in the next couple of weeks and I’ve been so excited about it.
DS has stayed away for one night before without both of us, at his grandparents and barely missed us. He’s also stayed away from me for two nights before as well and been fine with his dad.

we are going for three nights and I was speaking to a friend today who was horrified as she said it’s so long and what if something happens to us? What happens if he gets unwell?

we aren’t going abroad, it’s a three hour drive from the grandparents so if we needed to we could get back same day easily but it’s taken the shine off the whole thing and I’m now feeling quite anxious about it.

I really want to go as H and I broke up last year and have reconciled recently so want some time together to kind of see where we are at and if we think things are going to work out (it’s been a long an bumpy time) but now I just feel really panicky like something awful is going to happen to him or us if we do!

OP posts:

CKL987 · 09/03/2023 23:23

Depends on your child. My niece is 2 and has had a few nights in a row away from parents when they've been to a wedding and has been absolutely fine. There is nothing actually wrong with it.

smileladiesplease · 09/03/2023 23:52

It's fine I think your friend is probably jealous

Luredbyapomegranate · 09/03/2023 23:59

He knows them well, he’ll have a ball. Your friend is just working out her own neuroses - ignore

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Cornelious2011 · 10/03/2023 00:10

It's fine! Enjoy your trip

mathanxiety · 10/03/2023 00:28

If they are trusted and loving, and DS knows them well amd had a good time there before, he'll be fine.

The only potential spanner in the works I can think of is DS coming down with an illness, which might make him more inclined to look for comfort from mum and dad, or the GPs being under the weather. Sometimes a young child can be cranky and put of sorts before symptoms of illness appear too.

Bagsundermyeyestoday · 10/03/2023 00:44

Yep. Can't wait until I can do this!

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 10/03/2023 00:54

Oh good lord, of course. I know many instances in my family where babies were left for weekends at six months.

We owe it to our children to let them develop relationships beyond mom and dad. Don't stifle their world.

TheTeenageYears · 10/03/2023 01:17

DM was a SAHM but DSis & I still stayed with GP's for multiple nights from quite young. You'll get some people in a panic over Dc having a few nights away with school in Y6 and others whose DC stay with family from a few weeks old - it's completely personal. I'm on the latter scale, returned to work when DC1 was 4 months and went away for a weekend with DH just before. The whole it takes a village to raise a child doesn't seem to be a thing in lots of people's worlds if MN is to be believed.

WandaWonder · 10/03/2023 01:47

Sure we did it a few times over the years but seems to be longer than 20 mins these days and people gasp in horror

StClare101 · 10/03/2023 02:35

Yes of course.

Your friend can shove her judgement where the sun doesn’t shine.

Gremlinsateit · 10/03/2023 02:43

I loved staying with my grandmother at the same age. Lots of happy memories from when I was old enough to remember.

3littlebeans · 10/03/2023 06:06

We've not had 3 nights in 14 years.... but we would have lept at the cha ce if it was offered!

It's also lovely to build that close relationship with family. We do t have that at all.

JunkinDonuts · 10/03/2023 07:05

I would yes.
I used to leave mine with their grandparents from birth overnight.
I went on holiday abroad for a fortnight when my eldest was seven weeks old and left him with my parents.
As far as I know he hasn't suffered any side effects and he's in his thirties now.

Namechangeforthis88 · 10/03/2023 07:12

Bit raging with your friend. Watch out for that one and her "advice" and "support" going forward.

namechangeforthisbleep · 10/03/2023 07:23

JunkinDonuts · 10/03/2023 07:05

Is that true? A 2 week holiday when your baby was 7 weeks old?

incognitodorrito · 10/03/2023 07:24

Yes I would !

DurhamDurham · 10/03/2023 07:29

I left my two girls with grandparents when we went away for a long weekend. They always had a great time, did it from when they were babies. They both grew up to be well adjusted adults without any attachment issues

Now that I'm a grandma I regularly have our granddaughter over to stay and it's brilliant. We constantly play, chat, bake and have fun.
Being a grandparent is so much more fun than being a parent.

DuvetDownn · 10/03/2023 08:32

I didn’t but I would have if I had the opportunity.
I am hoping when I have DGC I’ll be allowed to have them for a weekend when the parents are ready.

Original poster

Embelline · 10/03/2023 08:35

@Namechangeforthis88 i was a bit taken aback to be honest and spent all day yesterday stewing on it, feeling awful.

and the thing is if he does take a turn with anything we can be back in three and a half hours, their best friends locally are married GPs, so if they needed a quick medical opinion they could get one…

I’m hoping I can get her words out of my head beforehand - whoever said anxiety was contagious is spot on. The thing is, she knows I have anxiety anyway - mainly health anxiety - so it seems a bit unkind to bring it up but I don’t think she was really thinking.

OP posts:

Original poster

Embelline · 10/03/2023 08:36

@DurhamDurham aw this is lovely! They always say they prefer having the grandchildren on their own without parents as obviously they behave very differently and tend to be more clingy with parents when we are around. When we aren’t there it seems to be all fun and games haha!

OP posts:

Namechangeforthis88 · 10/03/2023 08:40

DS and his cousins have had such adventures with their grandparents over the years, your friend is being ridiculous.

mondaytosunday · 10/03/2023 08:53

One night or three or no nights you never know what can happen. Your friend is being ridiculous. If your/partner's parents are happy to have them then don't think twice!

Original poster

Embelline · 10/03/2023 13:47

Thank you everyone

OP posts:

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