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Original poster

Would you leave a 3.5 year old with grandparents for three nights?

73 replies

Embelline · 09/03/2023 21:05

Got a trip away coming up in the next couple of weeks and I’ve been so excited about it.
DS has stayed away for one night before without both of us, at his grandparents and barely missed us. He’s also stayed away from me for two nights before as well and been fine with his dad.

we are going for three nights and I was speaking to a friend today who was horrified as she said it’s so long and what if something happens to us? What happens if he gets unwell?

we aren’t going abroad, it’s a three hour drive from the grandparents so if we needed to we could get back same day easily but it’s taken the shine off the whole thing and I’m now feeling quite anxious about it.

I really want to go as H and I broke up last year and have reconciled recently so want some time together to kind of see where we are at and if we think things are going to work out (it’s been a long an bumpy time) but now I just feel really panicky like something awful is going to happen to him or us if we do!

OP posts:
Lifeisnotabedofroses · 09/03/2023 21:27

Definitely. My youngest had to stay at grandparents 2 or 3 nights a week from approx 10 to 13 months as we couldn’t get a nursery space. Both always stayed 3 nights at half term from approx 5 and 2 years. Both have fantastic relationships with their grandparents as a result.

mindutopia · 09/03/2023 21:28

With trusted grandparents, yes absolutely I would (with ours, who are a hot safeguarding mess, no I definitely wouldn’t). But I’d be be very grateful for any trusted family member to provide care at that age if they are happy to.

HumphreysCorner · 09/03/2023 21:29

I left my one year old for 4 days split between both grandparents. She had a lovely time.

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Lotsofthingstoconsider · 09/03/2023 21:32

Ffs I left my 3.5 MONTH old with my mum. Because you know she raised you ant ant siblings successfully.. before any of the modern tech .. and yet you can Video call her anytime !!

Paperexcelandpens · 09/03/2023 21:42

I'm going against the grain and saying no I wouldn't actually. 1 night is fine but no longer for me.

gogohmm · 09/03/2023 21:47

Yes I did, left them there when we moved house, meant they arrived to everything sorted, even the promised Disney themed room

Wondering101 · 09/03/2023 21:56

I wish I had done this with my ex husband. Might have saved our relationship. Have a nice time

89redballoons · 09/03/2023 22:02

I would. Mine is 3y 3 months and has spent weekends with grandparents before. He didn't want to come home! Also it sounds like the time away will be important for your relationship with his dad, however that turns out romantically, so it's for your DS's benefit that you have time away from him as well.

Tailfeather · 09/03/2023 22:02

Yes, our DS has been having sleepovers with his grandparents since about 6 months.

defi · 09/03/2023 22:04

I think your friends response is really odd

Lavender2021 · 09/03/2023 22:07

If my daughter stays with grandparents she goes Friday evening and back Sunday evening due to the distance and she been doing this since she was 2. I wouldn't think twice her staying three nights.

Babooshka1990 · 09/03/2023 22:08

Maybe your friend doesn’t have parents who’s are as capable and trustworthy that DC feel comfortable with, so she can’t relate? I would never leave my child alone with my parents for example but have friends who often do.

TigerDroveAgain · 09/03/2023 22:09

We went to New York for DH's 50th when DS was three and left him with my parents. We were desperate to speak to him but all we got out of him was, I cant talk now: I am eating potatoes.

So yeah, I'd go for it!

Checkcheck12 · 09/03/2023 22:10

Yes, that's so fine. Your friends anxiety is contagious... Dust it off! Have a fab time!

addictedtotheflats · 09/03/2023 22:11

Yes, we did last weekend and had a wonderful 3 nights away! My DS couldn't of cared less

greatvisuals · 09/03/2023 22:15

Send him a postcard to arrive in the post while you're gone (you might have to post it on the first day!), perhaps arrange a little treat for him to do with grandparents (visit a petting farm or the seaside for chips), bring him back a gift from your travels.

It's a great learning curve and brilliant for nurturing his confidence and independence, great bonding for him and his grandparents. You'll probably find it harder than him!

WeWereInParis · 09/03/2023 22:20

Yes, I would. My DD (3.5 as well) is very close with my in laws and would have no problem spending three nights with them. She spends the night there every so often at the weekend anyway, not for any reason - she just asks to, and they live nearby and enjoy having her.

maddiemookins16mum · 09/03/2023 22:20

100% yes. All 3 year olds in our family were staying over with Grandparents for a few nights easily by then and having a ball.

PrtScn · 09/03/2023 22:25

If you're happy that the grandparents are capable then go for it. Personally I wouldn't let my son even spend the day on his own with his - DH parents in their 80s so wouldn't cope, and my mum is disabled, my step dad is a moron and I don't trust their dogs. My sister though I'd happily leave my son with.
You know them and your son best, so if you think things will be fine, I'm sure they will be - just ignore your friend.

DarkShade · 09/03/2023 22:28

I think that not only will he be fine, he'll actual enjoy himself. It'll be exciting for him and it's great for his self confidence and family relationships to develop those strong bonds with his Grandparents. He is a lucky boy to have grandparents who adore him and want to spend three days with him, and they all should absolutely get that opportunity for that time together. And you deserve a holiday!

Mariposista · 09/03/2023 22:48

we are going for three nights and I was speaking to a friend today who was horrified as she said it’s so long and what if something happens to us? What happens if he gets unwell?

He will be with his loving grandparents who will act in locus parentis until you get back. FFS your friend is a wet blanket. Go and have fun.

Original poster
Embelline · 09/03/2023 22:58

Thank you everyone you’ve eased my mind.
and to the poster/s who said they wouldn’t - too long - I totally get it, before now I wouldn’t have felt comfortable with it but I have lots of friends who have done (not this one obviously!) and haven’t judged at all. Thanks for sharing all your views.

He’s a very lucky, loved little boy and we are talking to him about his “special big boy holiday with nanny and grandad” so he’s very excited at the moment.

on the other hand I wouldn’t leave him with my dad or brother in a million years, not even for an afternoon!

OP posts:
Original poster
Embelline · 09/03/2023 23:00

@Wondering101 oh I’m sorry things didn’t work out for you :( I don’t know if it will for us. A lot has happened. But we have come a long way already and even if things don’t work out to stay together, we are working on a better relationship in some form - hopefully the former but if not I’m hoping we will be on much better terms than we have been since the initial break.

OP posts:
carpool · 09/03/2023 23:21

Another grandparent here who regularly has DGC1 to stay (from age 2 and is now 5). DGC2 (2 and a half) has not stayed yet however as doesn't seem ready/ is a bit clingy with mum. I think it depends very much on the child at what age they are ready and they are all different. Sounds like OP's little boy is happy to do this though which I think is all that matters.

Tofumammy · 09/03/2023 23:23

When our Granddaughter was three and her baby brother was due I flew over to London, met her and parents at the airport,flew back to Belfast with her and she stayed with us for two weeks. She was fine. Her cousin on the other hand, at that age, wouldn't have been happy away from her parents. Depends on the child .

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