How do you find out where a funeral is being held?

[BrassCandlestick]

This is on behalf of my stepdaughter, whose beloved step-grandad passed recently.
In the last couple of years, after he was widowed, he had formed a new relationship, and his new partner didn't consider her to be his family even though he brought her up and was very close to her. He was the only male parent/grandparent in her life.

She's a very kind and thoughtful girl and she's knocked sideways by his passing.
She'd love to attend his funeral to pay her respects and say goodbye.

She knows where he was living when he died - are funerals advertised anywhere these days? It used to as simple as checking the classifieds in the local papers.

Grateful for any tips.

Honestly, they mostly were till I joined MN.

then mum was horrified when I said I wanted that for dad. Very "but what if the newsagent we had three homes ago wants to come" sort of approach.

I've only ever heard of invites for funerals if it's a very well known person & they couldn't host everyone that might show up

I've never heard of invites for just a regular funeral. Anyone at all can & does show up.

I've never heard of a funeral that wasn't by invite only. They're all by invite.

I agree you ring round to let people know when and where, and the arrangements for the reception afterwards. But that doesn't mean if a friend from work, etc shows up, they'd be excluded. Or does it?
I was really happy that people my father knew, just showed up and joined us. My dad knew so many people, my mum didn't have contact details for lots of them. Until I came on MN, I'd never really heard of people being excluded.from events such as these.

Try Funeral-notices.co.uk

I certainly haven't heard of funerals being by invitation only. I've been at services where seating inside was restricted to family and close friends, but they were in a small town way quite high profile. Any others I've been to, or indeed helped to organise, have been open to all who wished to attend.

There is a site called passed away.com which might give you info. Here in NI there is a FB page called Funeral Times with a separate page for each county and nearly all funeral director now use it for death notices and funeral times.
I have just typed someone's name into Google and have found their obituary which us another option. Also you could try Googling the death notices of a paper local to the stepfather.

I've never been to a funeral that was invite only. You may be conflating being told that a funeral is taking place with actually being invited to it.
I've attended upwards of twenty funerals and there has never been an invite to any of them, just a public announcement of the time and place.

I'm trying to help but it's difficult to understand - surely the DSD has a way of contacting the partner?
So DSD can pass the contact details / phone number or whatever to you?
Then you msg / phone "Hi this is DSD's stepmum...... etc"

Thank you

I've never heard of a funeral that wasn't by invite only. They're all by invite.

Where are you ? As in what country ?
I've never come across that in England and I must have been to well over 100 funerals.

Can you ask the person who passed on the news of Grandad passing away?

I’ve never heard of by invite only funerals but I’ve often seen funerals for family members only in the obituaries.

Find the crematorium closest to his location and give them a call. Where we are there is really only one local one so it might be a starting point.

I announced my mums funeral location on fb because I knew it would trickle to others then.

Well over a hundred funerals?! Is it your job? That seems like a wild number of funerals to have attended!

Could you call the step-grandfather’s phone? The partner or other family may answer

Why wouldn't the partner know you exist if you met him several times?

I don't really understand what's making this so complicated. He raised your stepdaughter but went NC for the past 2 years?

How did she become your stepdaughter if she was raised by her grandad? And he's her step grandad so presumably not her mothers father either?

Death, is that you? 😂

How did he find out he’d died? Surely the easiest way to find out would be to ask the person who told her/ message the person who put it on social media.

Search online Funeral and full name.
or Death and full name.
You can also add the name of his local paper
Often funeral parlours have their own page too.
Contact any funeral home in the town. They often know each other's work.
Contact a mutual friend.
Funerals are generally public though some have private funerals.the funeral directer will know once your find the one.

If you know where he died, hospital or care home for instance they might tell you which funeral directors collected.

It's about 3 a year spread over 35 years.

I am 61 and been attending funerals for over 40 years, I imagine 100 is not far off from my experience.

You attend more funerals as you get older, I have been to 2 already this year, one was private, only 15 people there at the request of the deceased, invite only.

But a younger person or a popular work colleague I wouldn't expect an invitation unless they made it clear it was private.

Yes, same. I find the idea of a public free-for-all a bit disconcerting!

Funerals in England are public events, but families often "invite" people by telling them when/where the service will take place. It's typically the wake/reception afterwards that is private or invite only, as the family will need to cater for it.

I'm a funeral arranger. We don't always give out details due to some families not wanting certain people to be there. Call the local crematoriums and give them the name and they should be able to tell you if it's taking place there.

You wouldn't want to be in lreland thinking that's a lot of funerals. I would say my dad at 80 had gone to at least 1000 funerals. Comes from big families/ knowing all your neighbours and fellow parishioners plus a few more added in from hobbies.

@junebirthdaygirl that'd be at least one a month from birth! I'm pushing 30 and have only been to 4, but I'm not a fan of them to be honest so only go if I was very close to the person