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Original poster

Actually think I might be having some kind of stress induced breakdown

69 replies

VannyandZ · 02/03/2023 19:26

Obviously I’m not because I can post on here but I’m not right

Stress from work (NHS) has always been high but the last month I don’t think I can take it anymore.

I wake up in the night thinking about work, I feel sick when I wake up in the morning, I’ve come home from work today and my hands are trembling which I can’t stop. Every waking minute of the day is taken up with people asking me for something, telling me x/y/z isn’t good enough, a consultant absolutely spoke to me like shit today and nobody said a thing it’s so normalised. I have 7 meetings back to back tomorrow and my phone and email will be going off the whole time without letting up. Absolutely no support from my manager, no 1-1 for over 4 months. Upset patients, upset team, strikes, covid, not one word of encouragement or support from anyone. I cannot remember the last time anyone said thank you for anything or even a kind word.

I can’t calm down tonight, I’ve showered had a glass of wine and I’m just lying in bed trembling all down my arms

OP posts:
Merlott · 02/03/2023 19:32

Call in sick. Get a sick/fit note if you need more than a week.

Look at ways to leave the situation, this job or the profession. But get some time to recover first. You're not thinking straight yet.

VestPantsandSocks · 02/03/2023 19:34

You need to go and see your GP face to face as soon as possible.

Hope you feel better soon!

Cats246 · 02/03/2023 19:53

Take tomorrow off work.

What role are you in?

KleineDracheKokosnuss · 02/03/2023 20:03

You need to go off sick. Call in tomorrow and contact your GP. tell them exactly what you’ve written here. Take as much time as they will offer - 3 weeks to get your adrenaline to stop being In Overdrive is normal. One week will not be enough.

Also, consider a dignity at work complaint. Lodge it when you feel a bit better. Nothing will change if everyone stays silent.

rampila · 02/03/2023 20:20

VannyandZ · 02/03/2023 19:26

Obviously I’m not because I can post on here but I’m not right

Stress from work (NHS) has always been high but the last month I don’t think I can take it anymore.

I wake up in the night thinking about work, I feel sick when I wake up in the morning, I’ve come home from work today and my hands are trembling which I can’t stop. Every waking minute of the day is taken up with people asking me for something, telling me x/y/z isn’t good enough, a consultant absolutely spoke to me like shit today and nobody said a thing it’s so normalised. I have 7 meetings back to back tomorrow and my phone and email will be going off the whole time without letting up. Absolutely no support from my manager, no 1-1 for over 4 months. Upset patients, upset team, strikes, covid, not one word of encouragement or support from anyone. I cannot remember the last time anyone said thank you for anything or even a kind word.

I can’t calm down tonight, I’ve showered had a glass of wine and I’m just lying in bed trembling all down my arms

Lovely OP. Please do not think that because you can type and post this means you're not having a breakdown. Like you, I carried on and on and on before calling my GP one morning, who took one look at me, signed me off and gave me diazepam. I then slept - on and off- for about a week. Don't underestimate the power of your brain to let you carry on when you shouldn't. If you're not ready to be signed off yet, call in sick for a day with a migraine. Please let us know how you get on

Original poster
VannyandZ · 02/03/2023 20:20

Ops

I know I need to go to the GP but all this shit just gets put on to the next person

OP posts:
Turnipworkharder · 02/03/2023 20:20

Call in sick , your body is telling you something so listen to it.

rampila · 02/03/2023 20:21

VannyandZ · 02/03/2023 20:20

Ops

I know I need to go to the GP but all this shit just gets put on to the next person

This is not your problem. They will either cope or do the same.

Nimbostratus100 · 02/03/2023 20:22

you are clearly not alright, nothing you have said is normal or acceptable.

You can't go in to work like that, see your GP - and I hope you feel better soon, and get a job where you are treated better

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 02/03/2023 20:23

The next person is not your problem. You need to think about you for now. The other stuff can be looked at later, or not at all. This is not a time to take one for the team, as it were.

Bluetrews25 · 02/03/2023 20:23

Get some help
Don't get that help from alcohol, that could be a slippery slope (and it only increases anxiety and depression)

Tonkerbea · 02/03/2023 20:24

OP, do not go to work tomorrow, your health is the priority here. Don't push yourself so hard that you break your mind and body.

QuacketyQuack · 02/03/2023 20:25

Go off sick and look for another job.

Baconbutties · 02/03/2023 20:34

You need to speak to your line manager and say all of this . Ask for a referral to Occupational health also . Sorry it sounds awful for you but I agree you need to speak to your Gp and take some time off and put yourself first .

Original poster
VannyandZ · 02/03/2023 20:43

I’m in floods of tears sat in front of my work laptop reading these messages

why can’t I just listen to you all and go off work

i don’t cry, I don’t go off sick, being shouted at today was the final straw, I feel utterly broken

OP posts:
DanziseDanzi · 02/03/2023 20:49

Um yabu to say its obviously not because you can post on here..... having a breakdown is different for everyone and essentially means struggling with day to day tasks, the odd post of MN doesn't disqualify you from having a breakdown. You're reaching out for support. You'd be doing the same if speaking to a GP or counsellor.

Mumdiva99 · 02/03/2023 20:50

Reading your posts is so hard. Look after you. At least take tomorrow off. And try really hard to get a doc appointment. There is no shame in taking sick leave.

TwilightSkies · 02/03/2023 20:53

You need to go off sick OP. You really do, before your body forces you to.

MrsHamlet · 02/03/2023 20:54

You are sick.
You need a break from it.
I didn't realise how sick I was until I called my gp receptionist and was given an appointment the same day. When I turned up, it was with a mental health nurse. The receptionist heard the panic and hysteria and the nurse made me stop for a bit.
You have to put yourself first.

FannyFifer · 02/03/2023 20:54

Oh my love. You need to go off sick. You can not continue like this.

Frenchfancy · 02/03/2023 20:56

You cannot help others if you are not well. You need to step back. Go see your GP ASAP. Do not go into work tomorrow. No job is worth feeling like this.

GHxx · 02/03/2023 20:56

This sounds impossible 😔 no wonder you are feeling this way. I’m currently off due to working myself into a similar state (I’m a teacher). The only issue I now see is I don’t want to return as I know the job is unhealthy for me and I feel a panic attack coming on even at the thought of having to step foot in the door again. Some people probably just need a reset though and go again when you have some more energy and possibly some work taken off your plate if you manage to get someone to help you out

BathNotBath · 02/03/2023 20:57

Me too. also nhs.

had a full blown panic attack this morning in the carpark before I went in.

this was after wondering how much it would hurt to crash my car to avoid going in.

im done.

advice222 · 02/03/2023 20:58

VannyandZ · 02/03/2023 20:43

I’m in floods of tears sat in front of my work laptop reading these messages

why can’t I just listen to you all and go off work

i don’t cry, I don’t go off sick, being shouted at today was the final straw, I feel utterly broken

Please do not go to work tomorrow. I get what you say about not putting it on the next person, but they are not in your position. A mini break is better than a long break! Don’t think of it as long term, think of it as 2 days rather than waiting a month then it being 45 days.

Snapplepie · 02/03/2023 20:59

The trouble with stress like this is that it's so insidious. It sneaks up on you. I promise you the best thing to do is go off sick now and take some time to recover. The alternative is being sent home tomorrow because you are so obviously distressed potentially after you have made a mistake or said something that you will regret later.

I work in the NHS too. It's tough to take time off because the impact on patients is so obvious and we don't feel like we are as important. But your health and wellbeing are important. The service/team/hospital will manage while you are off. Nothing is worth feeling like this for.

Send an email/ leave a message on the sick line now so you aren't up all night worrying about it and get a good night's sleep. Go and see your gp tomorrow or next week and ask for a few weeks off. Access talking therapy through occupational health.

Go back when you have had a chance to build your resilience back up to the point where if someone talks to you like that consultant did you feel able to challenge them yourself. No one should be spoken to like that. It's completely unacceptable.

Good luck OP x

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