Dh had a breakdown - that's what the gp said it was. He is really stressed about our living situation, my lack of health, his lack of work, our lack of everything and no way to change anything now, we've pulled back everything we can. We still have bb I suppose but it's my only social life as I'm so often bed-bound now etc etc.
He wakes every day feeling sick and miserable and one day so angry that he threw something (heavy wooden board) at a kitchen counter hard enough to crack it, slammed stuff around and then took himself out for a while to just walk it off.
I did not witness any of this; I think if I'd been awake he'd have held it together for yet another day.
When he got home he sat down and wrote it all down, complete with swearing, everything he felt and all that he angry about.
Then he cried for a long time and then he rang the gp, who asked him to email the unexpurgated version. After reading it, she rang back, said she thought he'd just had a breakdown which was entirely reasonable considering the stress he was under, and got him in for a f2f, where he could unburden himself again, and answer her questions. He is now much better, as she listened, didn't tell him he was being useless and pathetic and took him v seriously. He has been unclear with me what treatment - if any - he's opted for but I know he had options. He'll tell me eventually.
See your gp. They'll do their utmost to help. NHS, we all know, is a nightmare shitshow in these times, and until the bloody politicians do something sensible, it'll just get worse. So do something now to help yourself, consider all options including leaving. You can always go back when things improve, both with yourself and with the country.
As a patient, I have deep sympathy for you despite the effect it has on 'us'. Darn site worse effect if patient safety is compromised, I'd rather stay on a waiting list.