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Original poster

Would it be weird if I sent this text - friends have messed with my head!

96 replies

KingGarlic · 02/03/2023 11:41

I used to do fitness classes run by a young lad - Mark. Those classes stopped a few months ago. Just before they stopped, me and Mark briefly talked about me doing PT with him.

After Xmas, Mark text me to arrange PT. Then he knackered up his car so I said let's hold off until you've got transport sorted. That was back in mid-January.

Meantime, I've tried other fitness classes and all are shit compared to Mark's. So I want to get PT started soon.

My friend's have been teasing me for ages about him - basically that I'm a cougar. I'm not. Me and Mark get on well. On a girls' night last year out I made some very sexual comments about him but that's about the extent of my inappropriate behaviour. In my defense - my friend (who'd been to a few fitness classes with me) made comments too, and it was a drunken girls' night out so things got rude!

Anyway, Monday is Mark's birthday. I know this because he mentioned it in passing last March and I have a weird memory for dates and birthdays - they just stick.

I was going to text Mark on Monday and say happy birthday and nudge him on the PT. But my friends' teasing has gotten into my head and I'm worried I'll look like I'm coming on to him. I'm not. I just want to get PT started (or confirm that he can't do it) and his birthday is an excuse to text.

Am I worrying about nothing? Or would texting him be a really weird thing to do? Like over-stepping? Would I seem like a cougar?

I need to get a grip and some new friends 😅

OP posts:
Amadeaa · 02/03/2023 12:18

One more vote for texting him about PT now and not wishing him a happy birthday

KitchenSinkDrama1 · 02/03/2023 12:19

Hi KingGarlic. I agree with pretty much everything our MN sisters have said already but you dont seem to want to hear it. Please do listen to them.

Happilyhot · 02/03/2023 12:20

Sorry if my initial reply was a bit harsh. But even contemplating the Happy Birthday bit is very unhinged and it will look like that. Just get another PT.

AuntViv · 02/03/2023 12:22

yeah text about what when you can resume the PT but as ppl have said, text on any other day thats not his birthday, imo.

raguragu · 02/03/2023 12:22

How old is Mark

How old are you?

Are you single?

Original poster
KingGarlic · 02/03/2023 12:23

KitchenSinkDrama1 · 02/03/2023 12:19

Hi KingGarlic. I agree with pretty much everything our MN sisters have said already but you dont seem to want to hear it. Please do listen to them.

I absolutely do. I said on page 1 that I'm hearing the consensus and will text about PT only.

OP posts:
Merlott · 02/03/2023 12:23

It's normal for women to make comments about male PTs, I'm pretty sure the PTs all know! That's why it's important to keep boundaries so you did the right thing to question yourself.

This particular PT doesn't want to take on clients, obviously. Find a different one!

Original poster
KingGarlic · 02/03/2023 12:27

The reason I'm keen for PT from him specifically is because he does a mash-up of MMA, weights and endurance.

I've tried other fitness classes and PTs, and they're all pretty standard and shit. I absolutely love the integration of MMA but have struggled to find people offering PT with this in it. I live in a pretty small place.

OP posts:
Suzi888 · 02/03/2023 12:28

You are bound to get a ribbing if you’ve told your mates you find him attractive etc

Presumably you pay for sessions. I would have thought he would be chasing you not vice versa.

Original poster
KingGarlic · 02/03/2023 12:28

I'm 34

He's 25

I'm single.

OP posts:
shutupheathe · 02/03/2023 12:28

KingGarlic · 02/03/2023 11:51

Our relationship is a bit more chilled than purely professional - we've exchanged texts in the past which are more friendly and non-exercise/fitness/class related. So it wouldn't be too much overstepping.

Then text him what you want? You just want replies on here to validate your actions.

Just to add if you’re chasing someone up for something you’re paying them for - then they either don’t want to do it or can’t do it.

Ihavekids · 02/03/2023 12:28

You fancy him.
You don't want it to look like you fancy him.
But it does look like you fancy him.
If he was keen to train you he'd have been in touch.
Trainers are friendly to everyone, that's how they get business, it's literally their job.
Find a new pt.

QueSyrahSyrah · 02/03/2023 12:30

Eh? Why do you need 'an excuse' to text when the PT you'd be employing him to do is plenty excuse already.

You'd look for 'an excuse' to text someone you fancied but had no other reason to talk to, and to be honest remembering a date mentioned in passing 12 months on is a weird one to use.

Happilyhot · 02/03/2023 12:30

Yes but just because you only want to see him does not mean he has to agree to sessions.
You are coming across very I want. He may have a full client list. He does not owe you anything. Chill out.

butterfliedtwo · 02/03/2023 12:30

Just to add if you’re chasing someone up for something you’re paying them for - then they either don’t want to do it or can’t do it.

Good point.

Original poster
KingGarlic · 02/03/2023 12:31

Suzi888 · 02/03/2023 12:28

You are bound to get a ribbing if you’ve told your mates you find him attractive etc

Presumably you pay for sessions. I would have thought he would be chasing you not vice versa.

I know. I know. But the comments I made weren't any more explicit or shocking than we'd usually have on a night out. I think the teasing has stuck because a week or so after I'd made these comments, Mark gave me a lift home. Several of my friends who live on my street saw this and here we are..... 🙄

OP posts:
Happilyhot · 02/03/2023 12:31

It's very obvious you are single OP

SnarkyBag · 02/03/2023 12:32

To me this comes across that you very much do fancy mark and this is just online mentionitis because your mates have called you on it.

TurnipSurprise · 02/03/2023 12:32

Well a lot of bells were ringing reading your post, I went to a similar sounding class in a small town and the PT is around that age and very fanciable!!

So I just popped on to Facebook to be nosy and his birthday is next week.

If his name starts with a T - I can definitely see the attraction, I have had many cougarish thoughts about him too Blush Grin

Just message and arrange the PT - he's not single so leave the rest there.

Hawkins003 · 02/03/2023 12:33

It's only a birthday wish, and you do want to hire him all the best

PleasantZen · 02/03/2023 12:34

Ask him out

SavBlancTonight · 02/03/2023 12:36

Definitely nudge re PT and ignore birthday.

To people saying he doesn't want the client or would be in touch - that's not true. Lots of suppliers don' know how to stay int ouch with customers, follow up etc. This is likely especially true if he's young and new to it. So I'd ask him one more time and send a message with specific time slots that work for you. Then he can do it or not.

If you do have a crush on him (in your secret soul, be honest), then please just be careful.

greekyoggy · 02/03/2023 12:37

Can you be a cougar aged 34?

He's an adult so why not?

greekyoggy · 02/03/2023 12:39

KingGarlic · 02/03/2023 12:27

The reason I'm keen for PT from him specifically is because he does a mash-up of MMA, weights and endurance.

I've tried other fitness classes and PTs, and they're all pretty standard and shit. I absolutely love the integration of MMA but have struggled to find people offering PT with this in it. I live in a pretty small place.

Of course. He sounds unique 🤣

MaryJean87 · 02/03/2023 12:40

Littleflowerseverywhere · 02/03/2023 12:03

Honestly if the genders were reversed and a man was making crude sexual remarks about his younger female trainer, he’d get his arse handed on to him.

as a pp said, if you don’t want your friends to think you are sexually attracted to him don’t make comments that show you are.

It's not a crime if she is attracted to him. Fancying someone doesn't mean they're some kind of sexual predator. It's not like she's making crude remarks to his face.