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Original poster

What’s your gut reaction to a 38 year old being pregnant?

918 replies

Pegfriedrice · 01/03/2023 09:25

Do you consider 38 old to be having a baby? Just interested in how people honestly feel hearing it as obviously most people would be polite in person but I’m not sure if secretly they’d think it was quite old to be having a baby?

probably overthinking but hey…

OP posts:
Hairmouse · 01/03/2023 10:51

I would be happy for them and think it’s pretty normal but also would have in the back on my mind that they are taking a risk. Due to circumstances I am hyper aware of the risks of pregnancy after 35 but most people wouldn’t think like that.

pitterypattery00 · 01/03/2023 10:52

Wouldn't bat an eyelid. In my wider friendship circle, only one friend had a baby in her 20s (and she was 28, so not young). The rest were 32+, and several of us have had babies in our early 40s. So 38 completely normal to me.

Itisbetter · 01/03/2023 10:52

Totally unremarkable. Not all sisters are nice

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Families
krazipan · 01/03/2023 10:53

My mum had my sister at 38 (31 years ago), my other sister had her baby at 36 and I had my second child at 38. None of us feel out of the ordinary.

bellinisurge · 01/03/2023 10:53

Had my first and only at 41. She's got no health problems, good kid, academically very strong.

I took a lot of physical punishment giving birth and the aftermath.

ifonly4 · 01/03/2023 10:53

Normal here. My friends, myself and family theirs at (last ages are second time):

34
18,21,40 (last one planned)
40
36, 39
32, 35
33, 37
37, 40
33, 35
32
34, 26, 41
40, 42
34, 39
37, 39
37, 38

And I'd be happy for whoever if they had a DB around 38, if that's what they wanted.

TantrumHelp · 01/03/2023 10:54

I wouldn’t personally raise an eyebrow to it. That’s pretty common these days. I think I might be surprised if you were 45+. But I normally don’t feel much other than that. Surprise.

bellinisurge · 01/03/2023 10:54

Your sister is a cow

doadeer · 01/03/2023 10:54

Wouldn't think twice. It's the average age around where I live

TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 01/03/2023 10:54

My gut reaction is she's a grown woman who doesn't need my reaction to her pregnancy news unless she asks for it.

If she wanted to be pregnant, I'm happy for her.
If she didn't want to be pregnant, & asked for my input, I would support her in whatever decision she eventually reached.

Hoolahoophop · 01/03/2023 10:54

I'd think rather you than me. But I wouldn't think it was unusual, and would congratulate.

Secretly I would be thinking that it would be better if we set up society to make it easier for parents to have their children younger without sacrificing career as that seems to be the main reason for my friends and family having their first at 40, (and played a part in my own choices) and I think if you could balance career and family better it would be better to have children younger from a health perspective and family support perspective.

I am in my 40s and caring for young children as well as an elderly parent who's health is failing at the same time as holding down a job. Because of my parents health they have a different relationship with my kids than I would have liked. More like the relationship I had with my great grandparents.

When I first had my children, older but not old my parents were both in full health leading active lifestyles but in their early 70s things changed and neurological issues knocked on the door. Which isn't as uncommon as we might hope.

So I guess I'm biased by my experience!

Riri24 · 01/03/2023 10:56

I wouldn't think anything of it, it's completely normal. And if you were my sister/ friend I would be delighted for you. Sounds like this is a her problem. She might have a bit of jealously or resentment for some reason but please don't let it upset you- no one else is thinking that!

BigglyBee · 01/03/2023 10:56

Pegfriedrice · 01/03/2023 09:31

my sister made a comment to me that I was getting ‘too old’ to give my child a sibling and that surely I was ‘done’ - I’m 36 and would likely be 38 if I were to have another. I just wondered if what she said was what most people actually thought - ie it’s old to have a baby, as I don’t think like that but realise I might be in the minority.

My sister is a bitch too sometimes.

Itawapuddytat · 01/03/2023 10:56

No second thought except "congrats! " I got pregnant with DC2 at 38 and gave birth soon after turning 39. A few of my friends got pregnant when they were 38-39-40.

Philandbill · 01/03/2023 10:57

If they were happy then I'd be happy for them too. It's not unusual these days. I had DD2 when I was 38. It was an easy pregnancy and a very easy (home) birth. Not every one is that fortunate but it's good to have a positive story as well as the difficult ones. DD2 is a teenager now and has always been an utter joy to us. I don't feel too old to be parent to a teenager either.

Hancocksmentalnft · 01/03/2023 10:57

Pegfriedrice · 01/03/2023 09:33

She said it to me with a tone of almost disgust at the thought of someone my age having more children which made me feel a bit shit!

@Pegfriedrice your sister sounds a bit shit. Do you want a second child? Apart from giving DC1 a sibling?

OneCup · 01/03/2023 10:57

In Middle Ages, too old I'd say. Nowadays, absolutely normal.

CloudPop · 01/03/2023 10:57

Leafer · 01/03/2023 09:27

As a woman who had a baby at 38, I’d consider it just completely normal tbh

Snap.

Vegansausagevole · 01/03/2023 10:58

I had my 2nd at 37 after an 11 year gap, all was well. A good friend had her 1st at 41 and is considering trying for a 2nd. We don’t live in a trendy city in fact most mums here are on the younger side, no one cares though do what works for you.

Wishimaywishimight · 01/03/2023 10:59

I'd say "congratulations" same as I would to anyone announcing a pregnancy, without giving it too much thought.

Honestly, if people cared less about what other people thought there'd be a lot less needless worrying going on! Stop feeling "shit" because of other peoples opinions - it's pointless and unnecessary.

Watchinglionking · 01/03/2023 10:59

Completely normal! (Certainly in my circles)

NK346f2849X127d8bca260 · 01/03/2023 10:59

I had my youngest two at 38 and 40. My cousin is due her second next month and is 38. It is not at all unusual in area I live in, the South.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 01/03/2023 10:59

Glad that it wasn't me! But I'd say that at any age.

I'd be happy for them if that is what they wanted. It's not too old at all.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 01/03/2023 11:00

MaryJean87 · 01/03/2023 09:35

I wouldn't really think anything other than glad it's not me.

You beat me to it 🤣

WindUpPenguin · 01/03/2023 11:00

Pegfriedrice · 01/03/2023 09:31

my sister made a comment to me that I was getting ‘too old’ to give my child a sibling and that surely I was ‘done’ - I’m 36 and would likely be 38 if I were to have another. I just wondered if what she said was what most people actually thought - ie it’s old to have a baby, as I don’t think like that but realise I might be in the minority.

I'm exactly the same as you - will be 36 when my baby is born and might be older than 38 if I have another, as we will struggle with double nursery fees, so might need to try and leave a bigger age gap.

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