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Original poster

What’s your gut reaction to a 38 year old being pregnant?

918 replies

Pegfriedrice · 01/03/2023 09:25

Do you consider 38 old to be having a baby? Just interested in how people honestly feel hearing it as obviously most people would be polite in person but I’m not sure if secretly they’d think it was quite old to be having a baby?

probably overthinking but hey…

OP posts:
LaDamaDeElche · 01/03/2023 20:28

I'm 44 and some people still ask me if I'll have any more, which I find quite odd at my age, but at 38, not at all.

raguragu · 01/03/2023 20:28

I think it's pretty normal. I had a baby aged 39.
Plenty of my friends did too

I think your sister is jealous

Lcb123 · 01/03/2023 20:28

Wouldn’t blink an eye? It’s not 58. My mum had me, her first, at 38 and then two more

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CallCollect · 01/03/2023 20:29

LaDamaDeElche · 01/03/2023 20:28

I'm 44 and some people still ask me if I'll have any more, which I find quite odd at my age, but at 38, not at all.

Lol my relative had at least 2 more after 44 (5 altogether in 40s) - unusual but definitely happens !

EnglishRain · 01/03/2023 20:29

I do think 38 is old. Most of my circle of friends have been having them late 20s/early 30s (we are all in decent, established careers too).

Donnaslayer · 01/03/2023 20:30

I was 39 when I got pregnant and just turned 40 when I had DS. No one has ever said anything nasty to me. I love being an older mum and definitely feel I had DS at the right time with the right person. Two of friends have also had babies around the 40 and 41 year old mark too xxx

LaDamaDeElche · 01/03/2023 20:32

CallCollect Obviously people do, what I find odd is that some people ask me as if it's the norm, or as if it would be easy. I don't think many people plan to have more at my age. Perhaps if it's your first, or an accident, but quite frankly personally I couldn't imagine anything worse.

riceuten · 01/03/2023 20:33

I suspect you disapprove and are looking for validation

Eesa2812 · 01/03/2023 20:35

Congratulations

Lovely13 · 01/03/2023 20:37

I know a man of 70 who’s expecting a child with his latest wife. She’s in her 40s. Well done them. But feel a bit sorry for the child.

RosemaryEllen · 01/03/2023 20:39

I had a baby at 43 - felt so blessed and still do.....

IJustHadToLookHavingReadTheBook · 01/03/2023 20:39

Totally normal. When I had my first a few years ago I was very much at the younger end of the spectrum at 30... our oldest was 45! Not until 50 would I raise an eyebrow about age tbh. Not like back when I was born and my mum being 30 was seen as a geriatric mother!

Billybea · 01/03/2023 20:40

I gave birth to my one & only child a month before my 39th and never gave it another thought, in fact I was one of the youngest on the ward!

TheHillsAreAliveWithTheSoundOfEtc · 01/03/2023 20:40

Congratulations.

Which is what I would think for any woman above the age of consent.

RyanRenolds · 01/03/2023 20:41

I was 37 and ds now 15 years old, nobody batted an eyelid tbh, I think women are having children later in life, and that's perfectly fine.

MysteryBelle · 01/03/2023 20:46

Your sister is very strange. 38 is absolutely fine and in the normal range. In fact, up to 44 or so in my opinion. I don’t like even putting a number on it as every woman’s experience is different. I was 37 when I had my first. Just a young spring chicken as I look back!

Keep in mind that terms like geriatric pregnancy etc are based on data that can be different in the future and are not necessarily ironclad as we’ve seen so many times i.e. coffee causes disease, then coffee prevents disease. Statistics as my dr said are just that, numbers. And we are not numbers, we are individuals whose experiences cannot be wholly predicted nor exactly the same as some test subject with a totally different lifestyle and risk factors.

Is your sister being malicious? That’s how her comments come across. She has to know better. Not really any excuse for her disgust and cruel insults, which is exactly what they are. She should support you and be happy for you.

Strooyloot · 01/03/2023 20:48

not too old at all. quite normal these days

ElephantInTheBoxRoom · 01/03/2023 20:49

I think there are a few things at play here and these are my assumptions:

  1. Jealousy: Sister had one and only DC in 20s. Assume now she’s in her 30s and not with father of DC so doesn’t have much hope of expanding her family. And anyway there would be a big age gap which isn’t ideal.
  2. Education/Career: I assume you’re better educated than her/have more degrees? Therefore possibly a better career which you have focused on and therefore put off starting a family.
  3. You’re both outside London: 38 is practically a teen pregnancy amongst middle class people here. A baby I’m your 20s in London is usually an accident or a benefit class signifier.

Second baby at 38 is perfectly normal so please don’t let your sister’s issues make you feel bad or have doubts. What she said is more about her than you.

Amiable · 01/03/2023 20:50

I had my kids at 35 and 40, so I wouldn't think anything of it

WanderlyWagonInWales · 01/03/2023 20:50

Tell your sister to fuck off and mind her own business. Since when does she get a say in when/if you decide to have another baby? Ignore her and do what’s right for you and your DH - sod what anyone else says.

Best of luck xx

dcthatsme · 01/03/2023 20:50

Haha that’s pretty normal these days - a lot of women I know had a baby at 38. Now I had mine at 42 and 45 - that is ancient - the result of infertility and a divorce. After I had my first one I was at the GPs for something (I was 43ish) and she said: ‘ So are you going to try for another one?’ I was gobsmacked and said didn’t she think I was too old? She said: ‘You’re in good health so why not?’ Long story short I had my second son a week or so after my 45th birthday. Yes I wish I was a younger parent (eg 38) but I did kayaking, treetops, soft play, water parks, chasing them around the place etc etc. I don’t feel it has reduced my capacity to be a good parent and also when you’re mature you’re happy to put the family first. So no 38 is fine and pretty usual in many circles.

Kattkittykitty · 01/03/2023 20:55

What's the big deal? I was pregnant for the first time at 38, delivered at 39.
It's totally normal. It's great!

Now, a pregnancy over age 35 is considered by most OBs to be a "geriatric" pregnancy, that's just what it's called, as it's more difficult to get pregnant over age 35. A woman's fertility sharply declines at 35 and over 40 it declines even further.

Very difficult to get pregnant at 40 and over but it certainly happens! Menopause for most women is 50-55, some at 60. And "menopause babies" are certainly a thing! Source: I was an OB/GYN RN in the US for a few years.

ladygindiva · 01/03/2023 20:57

I had my last at 42 so I'd think nothing .

lljkk · 01/03/2023 20:57

Cannot muster an opinion. Better them than me?

Rainbowbub22 · 01/03/2023 20:57

I'm 40 and my little girl is due next week. I have older children, which I had in my early twenties. This pregnancy has been a breeze. I think people have children older now, I don't feel old and it also makes me more determined to keep fit and healthy as I age. 38 is perfectly fine to have a baby, in my opinion