Idiotic (drunk) DH stuck in London and I'm worried.

[inigomontoyahwillcox]

My DH is an idiot.

We held a small lunchtime/afternoon party for our staff earlier today. Our business is in the south of the county, we live in the north, about 35 miles/1hr 15 mins in the car, but by train you have to get one into London, and then another train back out - about a 2 hour journey all in.

I had 3 or 4 drinks and got a lift home at about 5.30 with our friend who had joined us from our local town. DH said he wanted stay for another couple of hours and would get the train home, thought he was being a bit daft, but he wanted to spend some more time with the team (and I had to get home for DD), so fair enough.

There was sight nor sound of him for a few hours (he usually calls whenever he's on his way home from anywhere) so I tried to contact him - no luck - looked on find my friend and he was still there. I was getting a bit worried about the trains on a Sunday night so checked and he'd missed any chance of getting home tonight by train, so I assumed he was going to stay there overnight (he has family close by). Not a problem - marginally annoying, but no big deal, and certainly the safest/easiest thing to do if he was drunk.

He eventually called me back and was standing on the station platform, almost incoherently drunk (obviously coherent enough to call me - speaking and listening not so much!), I told him that he'd missed all the trains from London to our town and said "whatever you do, do not get on the train to London as you'll be stuck at the other end". I told him to get a taxi to his parents' or brother's house, but ohhhh no, the train pulled up whilst I was still on the phone to him and he got on the bloody thing! I was trying to get through to him, but he just couldn't get it, slurring about it being fine and he'd get a train from x station, even though I was repeatedly telling him there were no trains.

His phone is now dead, he is stuck in London somewhere, insanely drunk, with a very flimsy blazer on. I'd like to think he'll cut his losses and find a hotel to stay in, but he is bloody minded when he's drunk and was absolutely insisting he would find a way home somehow.

I'm worried, really worried. I'm also pissed off as I will obviously get no sleep tonight and I've got a very busy day at work tomorrow.

What a fucking idiot. Agggghhhh!

My father was an alcoholic and it eventually killed him.

I still can't get too outraged at what the ops husband has done...even if he does have a drinking problem, he's an adult and sitting down giving him a talking to probably won't help.

Hear hear!

I haven't any direct experience of alcoholism/gambling, however having reached my late 50's I have indirectly gained a certain knowledge, like a lot of people.

Cop on would decree that neither addiction or a predilection for them, are life/marriage/family enhancing.

One doesn't have to experience the "trauma"🙄of addiction to wish to avoid it and be alert to the possibility of it.

OP, you sound as if you have good awareness.

I hope you also have good support.

Wishing you well.

Often those whom have experienced it directly have the greatest threshold for tolerance of it.

If you have grown up amongst an alcoholic, day in day out, you might in deed think getting wasted once a week isn't that big a deal.

If your behaviour under the influence of alcohol is causing stress and worry to your partner, and a problem within the relationship, then it is not unreasonable for them to mention it.

Being utterly wasted makes you a vulnerable target for a mugging, beating, an accidental fall, all of which would affect your partner.

When you have a child with someone, their well being directly affects you, and yours theirs.

Why is no one else here concerned about the flimsiness of his blazer?! I may be focussing on the wrong thing here, but why so flimsy? I'm picturing something made of napkins, or cling film.

Often those whom have experienced it directly have the greatest threshold for tolerance of it

Not really. I just wouldn't get massively worried at the thought of a grown man getting drunk on a night out. Why is the op sitting at home stressed and worried? He's not a teenager! I really don't understand it.

These threads really do take on a life of their own, don't they!

I thank you all for your input - I've received some really great advice. I've arrived home to a very contrite husband, there was no need for me to initiate a conversation as he did that himself as soon as I walked through the door. I'm not sure if he maybe went on MN and read this (!) but he pretty much covered everything that's been mentioned. We've had a talk and, although this isn't the end of the story, I'm comfortable with how we're going to take it from here.

For the poster that was worrying about his flimsy blazer - it's flimsy compared to a standard coat/jacket just by nature of being a blazer. It wasn't made from detritus found around the kitchen 😁.

She's probably worried about him because she cares about him, possible even loves him,.....him being her husband an all, pissed out of his mind, barely coherent and more that an hour away trying to get home.

Surely not that difficult to understand.

Yes I do find it difficult to understand. Adult males, even drunk ones, are usually not in huge danger whilst out and about. If my dh goes out, I usually watch some crap on TV and fall asleep. I don't sit up all night panicking and worrying how he'll get home.

He’s not just your husband

he’s your business partner

and I’d be so pissed off that he presented himself in this way to employees

I’d be angry and also mortified because you can guarantee those employees are all talking about yesterday and “the boss”

He should have made the effort to go in at least rather than crawl home

if this was a one off I wouldn't give it a second thought.

It's not a one - off.

OP doesn't need to give him a 'talking to' but she might well want to express her concern and ask him to consider some help.

Men are in more danger than women, out & about - statistically far more likely to get beaten up by strangers.