I wish people would take pictures of me with my dcs

[theblackradiator]

I have lots of lovely natural non posed photos of dp and their grandmother with the dc, playing with them, hugging laughing together absolutely lovely moments captured without them knowing and they are lovely to look back on. But nobody ever thinks to take out their phone and snap natural photos of me in the moment with my dc. Not one single photo with me their mother hugging, kissing, reading to them nothing and it upsets me so much. I've mentioned it sooo many times to dp and my mum but they still don't ever do it. The only photo I ever get of me with dc is if I ask someone to take one and then it's just a posed photo of us just stood their. I could scream. Anyone else have this issue.

I have this situation.

I now hire a photographer once a year (not possible for everyone) who does a mix of posed and natural photography.

We all go to a local park and play while she takes photos.

It's not ideal, but at least I know there will be one photo from every year of their childhood where I am smiling and playing with them.

I shared the same fear, that if I died my children would have no photos with me, where it was obvious how much I loved and enjoyed them.

Pathetic that this is the solution when all DH needed to do was whip out his phone a few times. But here we are. He is thoughtful in other ways.

Not alone at all. I hate my photo being take with a passion and actively avoid people with cameras/phones in their hands. If DH ever takes any I make sure to delete them and tell him how much I hate them - even natural, unguarded moment photos are awful. I don’t take loads of the DT’s either just 1 or 2 on special occasions or if they’re doing something funny.

Not everyone takes pictures for Instagram or Facebook I don't use them myself. I just like photos for personal family memories.

Fair enough, but it doesn't change the point I was making, that my adult dc remember times when we did things together without any photos of us doing them together.
They are very aware who took them to their matches, sat through concerts etc without any photos of me being there. They remember - for example our terrible efforts to try to get a kite to fly on that beach one holiday, although we were far too busy trying to get the damn thing up in the air to be taking photos of us doing so. They remember that rogue wave sneaking up behind me when I was trying to hold the body board steady for them to get on, again, despite there not being a photo.
Your dc won't think you didn't play with them, just because you don't have a photo of you building that fort.

I remember my mum and dad taking me places but photos are PRICELESS.

I agree Queef but a photo of the dc eating an ice-cream on that beach, or posing by their sandcastle, triggers the memories of that holiday. They don't need a photo of me queuing at the van to know I got the ice cream for them or a photo of me hugging them in that towel when they came out of the freezing sea, or being hit by the rogue wave to remember that I was playing in the sea / sand with them, is the point.

I'd just stop taking pictures of/for DP and DM and when they ask if you took any natural pictures of them with the kids after such events, and you say "no, no one ever takes some for/of me so I can't be arsed anymore", then they'll realise how upsetting it is! And maybe they'll finally make the "effort" for you. Sick of stuff like that be always a 1 way street!

Same here. I take fantastic natural photos of others but no one ever does the same for me. No one.

Yes! Same issue. I must have 100 pics of DH with the kids, just random moments where they’re walking together or playing or whatever but although I’ve asked he never thinks to do the same for me. I’m not great at posed pictures or selfies so would love more candid photos. Feel your pain OP.

I understand how you feel but those are my favourite photos of my mum.

I was 11 when she died and no, I don’t really remember much. My dad took thousands of photos. My favourite ones of her are of her doing mundane things, like doing the ironing in the background of me playing, or in the kitchen cooking christmas dinner. They mean so much to me, just to see her doing stuff.

We are all different though.

Yes I feel exactly the same. I have loads of photos with my friends but nothing with the kids (or dogs)

Oh I understand OP, my DC are adults now, but ex H was always getting me to take photos of him with them when they were younger, but didn't return the favour so there are barely any of me with them.

I also have very few photos of me now, friends seem to take pics when out with other friends, but not with me. Even my chap doesn't take any. When I die, there won't be any photos of me from the last 20 years or so (some selfies, that's all), so I feel a bit like my DC will forget what I look like 😢

Same. When you look at photos of our family it's like I don't exist.

I have virtually no photos of me and my middle dd for this reason. It breaks my heart. Loads of my DH but none of me. He says ‘well I took all the video’ but even on those I’m just running around in the background, not in the moment. So sad.

Oh that is lovely 😍 Not just the photo, but the sentiment.

Same here the stupid thing is my ex husband was recently clearing out his nans house telling me about all the pictures he had discovered and did I want them I said I took them 😅 are you sure? There is one where ds is doing x and yes I know I LITERALLY took them you can give them to me if you like but I was the one who took them printed them and gave them to your nan he got stroppy saying he thought he took them mate you never take them to the beach just how would you have pictures of them on the beach unless I GAVE THEM TO YOU he is unhappy about this (accurate) description of him 😉 but even when we were together he never took photos of the children with me its like I never existed

Yep same here. There’s been times we’ve been away for a few days and not one single photo of me - it’s like I wasn’t there 😂
I hate having to pass my phone over to DH and say can you take a photo of me with the children - and then half the time they’re blurred!!

Yes OP, yes, I have the exact same. But even with posed shots. DS is 4mo and no one seems to give a f about taking pictures of me with him even from the minute he was born. On meeting him everyone wanted photos of them holding him, no photos exist of the 3 of us as a family either. Despite me asking for photos to be taken. It makes me sad. My degree is in photography, so photos for me are so important in capturing moments to look back on. At least I'll know in photos DS is smiling at me while I'm taking them...

@MysteriousDuck2110 For posed shots just take your own! Get a tripod and set it up and do them that way 😊

Do you think it's because women are more likely to sit looking through photos?

It is infuriating. And DH loves looking through old photos, and is a really good photographer, but is terrible at remembering to take them. I am forever grateful that he did take lots when DS was a baby, but they markedly fell away as he grew older and now, as so many have commented, all I ever seem to get are selfies so that I can prove I was there, while I take loads of natural pics of everyone else. We are going on hols this summer and I am going to have a strong word before we go that I want photos every day and not only posed ones. Wonder if it will make a blind bit of difference…

I don’t understand threads like this. So, you tell your husbands/partners that you really want more imposes photos of you and your DC, and they still don’t take them? Why, though? Have you asked why? It seems insanely inconsiderate.

Whether or not they themselves care about photos is irrelevant, surely? You’ve made it clear that you care and it’s an easy thing to do. So, why not?!

Same. My kids are grown up now and most of the pictures are of kids with other family/people. I raised it with DH often and occasionally he'd remember.