Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

DD just had her 1 year Jabs DP cross

71 replies

Magenta82 · 22/02/2023 17:20

I took DD for her 1 year Jabs today, she is 16 months but there were some delays to the previous ones that meant everything got pushed back.

She has a little temperature, is clingy, grumpy and sleepy, nothing unexpected but not nice for her and she seems quite poorly.

DP is really angry and upset, he doesn't trust that the Jabs are what "they tell us" he blames them for his son's speech delays and behaviour problems, says he was never the same after having them.

He is really worried, says DDs eyes don't have the same spark anymore, that she won't be the same and the Jabs will make her dull and harm her.

He says he doesn't blame me but wishes I hadn't taken her.

I wish I hadn't told him, but she is obviously poorly and has been half asleep on me most of the afternoon. He asked what was wrong and I didn't want to lie.

I don't know why I'm posting, I know they are safe, that there is no link with any kind of vaccinations and any kind of neurodivergence and anyway even if there were dying or going blind from measles is worse than autism.

But right now I feel awful, sick and want to cry, DD is so sleepy, temp of 38.5 and cries when I put her down. Just need some reassurance.

OP posts:
Cotswoldmama · 22/02/2023 17:25

She will be fine, it sounds like a completely normal reaction to the jabs. Mine were the same. You did the right thing getting her vaccinated.

Cotswoldmama · 22/02/2023 17:26

Have you given her Calpol to get her temp down, it is fairly normal after vaccines, just keep giving Calpol as per instructions and give lots of cuddles.

Alargeoneplease89 · 22/02/2023 17:28

Completely normal reaction from the jabs, please don't feel guilty. His sons speech delays / behaviour will be down purely to coincidence because that is the age issues like that are picked up.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

1 year olds
Eastereggsboxedupready · 22/02/2023 17:31

I have many many dc. All had jabs. One is suspected ASD which I know 100% he would have been anyway.. Not because I had him protected...
What I did have is a dc who nearly died of whooping cough pre pre natal jab...
Thankfully dc getting childhood diseases is reduced now.. I think your dp needs a bloody reality check op.

Clymene · 22/02/2023 17:32

Did you know your partner was an anti vax nutter?

MrsRR1 · 22/02/2023 17:32

I can see both sides as I know someone who's child has been vaccine injured (medically confirmed) and it has changed her completely. However my child has had all jabs except covid. I don't believe everything is safe and there is always a risk with everything. All we can do as parents is hope our child isn't the small percentage that are affected. You have done your best and no reason to feel bad about that. Reaction in the short term is normal with jabs and should pass quickly.
If in the tinest percent possibility there is any long term effect you would deal with that then. But it's very very unlikely

Pixiedust1234 · 22/02/2023 17:42

She sounds like she has completely normal reactions to the jabs. However do give her calpol until she's better (usually a day or two).

Tell DP he needs to see the GP regarding his health anxiety, his reaction is NOT normal.

Rainallnight · 22/02/2023 17:43

Oh dear, he doesn’t sound terribly bright.

I hope DD feels better soon.

Mariposista · 22/02/2023 17:53

Your husband is a dick - jabs save lives. Would he rather his child have a day or two of fever, or to be burying her from a disease that could have been prevented? Or raising her blind, brain damaged, infertile, deaf or whatever other foul side effects these jabs save you from. keep him well away from any medical choices that need making for her. Would he deny her antibiotics if she needed them too?

Original poster
Magenta82 · 22/02/2023 17:58

Thanks, I know I did the right thing, before I had a baby there wouldn't have been a doubt in my mind, but seeing her all sad and sleepy breaks my heart.

DP is in a bad place with his PTSD right now and it manifests in him mistrusting any kind of authority. Yesterday it was why Tony Blair is a criminal, today it is the vaccines, he will get through it, but its tough.

OP posts:
Alargeoneplease89 · 22/02/2023 18:05

He is getting help for his PTSD?

TurquoiseDress · 22/02/2023 18:08

You did the right thing getting her vaccinated to protect her going forwards

Having a fever/being unsettled after jabs is normal

Original poster
Magenta82 · 22/02/2023 18:12

He has regular counselling for the PTSD, there have been a lot of stressful things happening recently which have made it worse right now.

OP posts:
AreBearsCatholic · 22/02/2023 18:18

Is he getting specific help for the psychotic aspect of the symptoms of PTSD? If not he might need it.

Original poster
Magenta82 · 22/02/2023 18:21

AreBearsCatholic · 22/02/2023 18:18

Is he getting specific help for the psychotic aspect of the symptoms of PTSD? If not he might need it.

What would that involve?

OP posts:
BocolateChiscuits · 22/02/2023 18:25

I live near a cemetery that was initially set up for casualties of the first world war, and stayed open afterwards. I used to take my eldest there for naps in the buggy, because he was a light sleeper and would wake up if he heard a loud car, a dog or people chatting, and this was the quietest place I could find. There's a section of the cemetery reserved for children. Rows upon rows of little child size graves, and child size tombstones, all with dates and inscriptions that make your heart break. People used to lose their children in droves to simple illnesses. I'd walk through it with my baby and thank god for vaccines.

You did the right thing entirely. Most little ones react to vaccines, so your DD is reacting completely normally.

With your DH, try to batten down the hatches until your DD is recovered, and then see if you can have a good discussion with him once emotions aren't running so high. If he believes his DS was harmed by vaccines this is going to be a very scary and traumatic time for him. I don't know how you could approach it with him, but it would be worth thinking about what may convince him, and doing some preparation before hand. If my DH did this, I'd take him to the cemetery.

BigFeelingsMoment · 22/02/2023 18:27

You did a good thing. You are a good mum. Little one will feel better soon.

I’m the most pro vaccine person in the world and even I wobbled a bit over the vaccines when DC was tiny. Something about not wanting anything to touch our precious little ones.

Original poster
Magenta82 · 22/02/2023 18:33

She has just thrown up and is refusing water

OP posts:
WhatAmIDoingWrong123 · 22/02/2023 18:38

She’ll be alright in a day or so’s time so providing he’s taken his tin hat off, he’ll see that and feel better about it. Give her Calpol and if you’re really concerned, 111 will give you an appointment with an OOH GP.

ItchyBillco · 22/02/2023 18:41

You did the right thing, feeling rough after jabs is really normal. Calpol, water and whatever she fancies eating.

He is really worried, says DDs eyes don't have the same spark anymore, that she won't be the same and the Jabs will make her dull and harm her.

He needs proper, psychiatric help. This is not normal.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 22/02/2023 18:43

@BocolateChiscuits , I remember much the same, in an old churchyard in Sheffield.

So many cases of 2, 3, or 4 children from the same family, all wiped out within 2-4 weeks.

Heartbreaking to see.

IMO antivaxxers should be given a compulsory tour of such a churchyard or cemetery, to see what used to happen before vaccines were routinely available.

StarsandStones · 22/02/2023 18:47

If she throws up a suppository may be easier than Calpol.
Best of luck, it will indeed take a few days...

MajorCarolDanvers · 22/02/2023 18:48

Her reaction is completely normal and she will be fine.

DP's reaction is not normal.

babynoname22 · 22/02/2023 18:49

That must be very hard OP with his mental healthy it you've done the right thing. Her eyes would be much more faded with measles etc!! It will soon pass and she will be fine in a day or two.

QuinkWashable · 22/02/2023 18:52

Vaccination works. That's why we don't see polio injured kids any more, people blind from measles etc.

She'll be fine in a couple of days. My kids have had not only the normal vaccine schedule, but also some extras as we travelled a lot, and believe me, no spark has been lost! It's not normal to think that way, he should consider getting some help around what I'm guessing is guilt around taking his son to be vaccinated and problems (likely unrelated) presenting themselves later.