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Original poster

DD just had her 1 year Jabs DP cross

71 replies

Magenta82 · 22/02/2023 17:20

I took DD for her 1 year Jabs today, she is 16 months but there were some delays to the previous ones that meant everything got pushed back.

She has a little temperature, is clingy, grumpy and sleepy, nothing unexpected but not nice for her and she seems quite poorly.

DP is really angry and upset, he doesn't trust that the Jabs are what "they tell us" he blames them for his son's speech delays and behaviour problems, says he was never the same after having them.

He is really worried, says DDs eyes don't have the same spark anymore, that she won't be the same and the Jabs will make her dull and harm her.

He says he doesn't blame me but wishes I hadn't taken her.

I wish I hadn't told him, but she is obviously poorly and has been half asleep on me most of the afternoon. He asked what was wrong and I didn't want to lie.

I don't know why I'm posting, I know they are safe, that there is no link with any kind of vaccinations and any kind of neurodivergence and anyway even if there were dying or going blind from measles is worse than autism.

But right now I feel awful, sick and want to cry, DD is so sleepy, temp of 38.5 and cries when I put her down. Just need some reassurance.

OP posts:

yentirb · 22/02/2023 18:54

Hows she doing now op

Bippetyboppityboob · 22/02/2023 18:56

He is really worried, says DDs eyes don't have the same spark anymore, that she won't be the same and the Jabs will make her dull and harm her

He needs help, more intensive than he is already accessing by the sounds of it. To have a differing viewpoint about something isn't the issue, but saying stuff like this along with paranoia is a yikes from me.

Original poster

Magenta82 · 22/02/2023 18:57

DD is cuddling me and drinking some milk, DP is crying and saying she won't come back from this.

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

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1 year olds

Shutupyoutart · 22/02/2023 19:01

Oh dear op sounds like you have had a rough day. Dd will be OK give her an ice lolly to get some fluids into her if she's refusing water, sounds like dp is really struggling atm, hopefully his therapist can help him through this. Mind yourself as well you did the right thing by your little girl. Lots of cuddles and tlc for you both ❤️

OnaBegonia · 22/02/2023 19:04

I think you're buying into his behaviour, feeling upset at your DD having a completely normal reaction and being under the weather is a bit ott, as a parent you will see your child being unwell.
Your DH sounds very unwell, personally I couldn't live with that.

Chamomileteaplease · 22/02/2023 19:06

The MMR is a live vaccine which means that your child can be more likely to feel under the weather afterwards. For a day or two. Perfectly normal. Whereas your DP's reaction is not normal.

gamerchick · 22/02/2023 19:11

Take the bairn to bed for a cuddle with your phone. Tell your bloke to stay downstairs with his mental health issues until he has a hold of himself. The bairn will be alright, it's just an immune response. Your bloke however needs intensive therapy before it rips you apart

Twizbe · 22/02/2023 19:15

Magenta82 · 22/02/2023 18:57

DD is cuddling me and drinking some milk, DP is crying and saying she won't come back from this.

Your DP needs some serious help. His reaction to you vaccinating your daughter is not normal.

whoruntheworldgirls · 22/02/2023 19:21

Partner really needs more help.
My daughter had a very similar reaction, lots of sleep, calpol and cuddles, she slept between us for a couple of nights after her 12 month jab just so we could keep an eye on her, soon bounced back.

Original poster

Magenta82 · 22/02/2023 19:23

gamerchick · 22/02/2023 19:11

Sounds like a plan, we are both tucked up.
Thanks for the support, I know I've done the right thing, but today has been hard. Hopefully she will feel better soon.

OP posts:

Pythonesque · 22/02/2023 19:25

I had measles when I was 6. Not only did my mother have a traumatic week or more nursing me through hallucinations and high temperatures that barely came down, she then had the niggling worry of SSPE to live with for years afterwards. That's a worse worry than the "what if's" of vaccination, and although extremely rare, it is a real one.

OP, well done and I hope your partner starts to improve with the supports he's getting so that he can support instead of undermining.

Sarahcoggles · 22/02/2023 19:28

Your child will be fine OP. Your partner , however, needs some serious help.

ItchyBillco · 22/02/2023 19:30

Magenta82 · 22/02/2023 18:57

DD is cuddling me and drinking some milk, DP is crying and saying she won't come back from this.

He has no right to spout this sort of shit. He needs to push off and sort himself out.

amylou8 · 22/02/2023 19:38

She'll be absolutely fine, you've done the right thing. I'm sceptical about a lot of things, but felt completely comfortable when mine had their baby jabs. They've been about for ages, and the benefits far outweigh any risk. You can't blame your partner for being worried, especially with all the controversy over the COVID jab for kids, but honestly these ones have been about for decades and saved countless lives.

TeenLifeMum · 22/02/2023 19:43

I wonder if she’s caught a bug on top of the vaccines because that’s higher temp than you’d usually get and being sick is unusual? I caveat this with my dc are 11-15 so maybe info has changed but there’s lots of viruses around so could be more than vaccine reaction.

Meifly · 22/02/2023 19:44

My aunt's second child was born with Down's syndrome so she didn't want to 'risk' her third child developing autism from the jabs (despite her first having had the jabs with no problems whatsoever)

He grew up to be a healthy teen with no signs of autism etc so she felt she made the right decision until he had severe complications from a case of adult mumps. Now he has to live with irreversible infertility due to his mothers decision to 'play it safe' and avoid the vaccine

She's by no means a stupid or unkind woman but it can have devastating consequences when people fall for emotive scaremongering over their own common sense

Lcb123 · 22/02/2023 19:55

sounds like a normal reaction to the jabs but she’ll be protected from much worse illness.

Lcb123 · 22/02/2023 19:58

Your partners reaction is not normal - he needs to seek support for his own issues

feellikeanalien · 22/02/2023 20:00

OP DD was born abroad and very premature so she had all the normal ones plus extras which weren't standard at the time in the UK including a BCG when she was a baby. She was perfectly fine. She also had several jabs to try to prevent RSV during her first winter as she was so vulnerable. She was a bit moany after some of them but that didn't last more than a day. It would have been much more dangerous for her not to have them.

Try not to worry. I know its's so hard when they are so small and not well.

Your DP needs to get help for this otherwise it will cause issues when she is due to have any other jabs in the future.

Calmdown14 · 22/02/2023 20:03

Both of mine had a rough afternoon/night depending on time of day they had them.

Bounced back the following day. I paid for my son to have the meningitis jab as he just missed age cut off and first one floored him (is that now included?) But one night of illness compared to meningitis is a no brainer.

She's having a micro dose of these illnesses effectively. Imagine how awful a proper dose would be. I know you know all this as you've gone ahead but still important to keep hold of.

Your partner is clearly not rational so agree with staying out of his way for the night.

berksandbeyond · 22/02/2023 20:03

Why did you have a child with someone so stupid?

alanabennett · 22/02/2023 20:07

berksandbeyond · 22/02/2023 20:03

Why did you have a child with someone so stupid?

That's really unkind. He's mentally ill, not stupid.

breatheinskipthegym · 22/02/2023 20:10

OP it must be so difficult for you, trying to balance the needs/challenges of your unwell partner and your unwell child. The posters on here calling your partner stupid and advising he should pull himself together should be ashamed of themselves, OP has identified that her partner is in the grips of a mental illness.

OP do you know offhand how you might be able to get support if things get worse through the night? Maybe look up your local MH crisis services if not. Hope both your loved ones are better very soon.

JunkinDonuts · 22/02/2023 20:11

Your partner needs to stop his ridiculous behaviour.
Vaccines have literally eradicated childhood illnesses that were killing them and leaving some with terrible disabilities.
A few years ago, a lot of parents in Wales refused to allow their children to be vaccinated, leading to a terrible outbreak of measles that caused deaths and disabilities amongst the more unfortunate ones. This was a disease that a vaccine had almost eradicated.
I had mine vaccinated because the risk of them contacting a killer disease wasn't a risk I was prepared to take.
You need to tell your partner to wise up and shut up.
Hope your little one is feeling better soon, as others have said, it's perfectly normal to feel unwell after a vaccination.

toomuchlaundry · 22/02/2023 20:12

Has your DP have local family he can go to, so you can concentrate on your little one and they can concentrate on him?

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