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Original poster

Why the fuck does he do this?

107 replies

unclebuck · 20/02/2023 13:53

I work in a small town and we have local shops including 2 butchers, I used to use one of these for all my weekly purchases. 18 years ago I ordered some steak for DH bday, I had 2yo DS with me and was pregnant. About 20seconds after leaving the shop DS suddenly looked at me, his eyes rolled back and he had a seizure. A passerby called an ambulance, and we raced off to hospital. Fuck knows what happened to my brain in this time but I literally forgot the visit to the butchers completely.

A week later I was passing and he ran out screaming at me that I had wasted his time and cost him money. I remembered and was mortified. Apologised profusely, paid for the steak which he'd put in the freezer, and left. I ordered my turkey for Xmas the following week and was told I was blacklisted and to fuck off. Ok, I start using another butcher.

Since this happened, for nearly 20 years, this butcher has starred at me, left his shop to watch me walk down the street, glared at me, dirty looks etc. He sometimes stands behind the counter with his arms crossed a meat cleaver in his hand in what I assume is meant to be a very threatening manner. I don't give a shit normally but today he muttered 'state of that' I passed and I am feeling unwell and I just don't understand what is doing this for? My office is literally 50 m from his shop. I have literally not spoken to this man since he told me he wouldn't sell me a turkey 18 years ago and said "OK, not to worry" and left his shop.

What is he gaining? What a twat.

Sorry it's a bit long, I needed to get it off my chest!

OP posts:
Original poster
unclebuck · 20/02/2023 14:27

Mamette · 20/02/2023 14:23

I don’t think I’d be suited to village life because I’d have had an out and out row with him about 17.75 years ago. Full fishwife mode.

Standing with a meat cleaver glowering! What a tit.

Being completely honest I also have a business in the town and my personal reputation as not being a Screamy Shouty Northern Harridan can be challenging to uphold, but this is the main reason I steer clear

OP posts:
weekfour · 20/02/2023 14:30

Take a picture of him every time he looks at you?

Justcallmebebes · 20/02/2023 14:34

I don't understand as you say approx 20 seconds after leaving the shop your DS had a seizure. Didn't you pay and take the steak? Why was it in the freezer if you'd already left?

Doesn't make sense

Elerandooo · 20/02/2023 14:39

Was honestly waiting for a punchline to this. How bizzare.

Surely if you hadn’t yet paid for the steak, you hadn’t left the shop when your son started having a seizure, so the butcher would have seen all of this happening- ambulance arriving etc.

Not sure this is entirely real, but yeah, if it is I certainly wouldn’t have waited 20 years to give him a piece of my mind.

RiktheButler · 20/02/2023 14:44

Justcallmebebes · 20/02/2023 14:34

I don't understand as you say approx 20 seconds after leaving the shop your DS had a seizure. Didn't you pay and take the steak? Why was it in the freezer if you'd already left?

Doesn't make sense

I can't imagine a butcher having to take an order for steak - its literally what they sell. He saw all the commotion, saw the ambulance and didn't just put the steak back on display?
20 years later he still holds a grudge?
Hmmmmmmmm

Original poster
unclebuck · 20/02/2023 14:48

Justcallmebebes · 20/02/2023 14:34

I don't understand as you say approx 20 seconds after leaving the shop your DS had a seizure. Didn't you pay and take the steak? Why was it in the freezer if you'd already left?

Doesn't make sense

It's a small local butchers. I special ordered some thick cut sirloin steak for DH bday the next week so didn't take it or pay at the time.

OP posts:
Youraccountisnolongervalid · 20/02/2023 14:48

Could you get your 20 year old to go in and buy some meat then pass it to you as you come along - that would annoy him 😁

TurtleTriplets · 20/02/2023 14:53

Wow that is some impressive grudge holding!

RemoteControlDoobry · 20/02/2023 15:01

Have you never confronted him or written to him? I had a man with a van hurl abuse at me last week and I couldn’t confront him at the time because I was so shocked and my heart was racing so fast I thought I was going to have a heart attack.

I’ve written to him on all his social media platforms to tell him what I think about him abusing a single, autistic mother and her autistic son (who he called a lazy git for not helping him do the job I was paying him for). It was the same attitude of ‘I’ve got to do this shitty job and you’re an entitled woman for daring to ask me to do it so I will take out all my grievances on you because you’re an easy target’. So make sure you’re not an easy target and get revenge! You could be more covert and attack the Google listing maybe…. I’m too scared to do that because he’ll know it’s me but I’m biding my time!

That man is actually committing an offence to verbally abuse you and act threateningly. I would at least report this.

journeyofinsanity · 20/02/2023 15:03

OP why do you indeedy why he was angry 18 years ago? You PAID for the steak. All that happened was he had to stick it in the freezer for you.
Surely in such a small village he could hear and see the ambulance if it was immediately you left his shop. He is clearly insane.

LakeTiticaca · 20/02/2023 15:09

Men who harrass women usually change their tune when woman's large muscular male relative/friend pays them a visit

Pass me my arse 😉

Mamette · 20/02/2023 15:10

You came back and paid in full the next day though, and apologised. Even if you didn’t collect the steak because you simply forgot, he would still BU.

But… your toddler had a seizure and had to go to hospital! The mind boggles as to how he feels justified.

Thighdentitycrisis · 20/02/2023 15:23

@unclebuck

what he wants you to do is be scared of / intimidated / affected negatively by his staring and comments.

letting him know that 1) you recognise his behaviour as that and 2)you are not any of those things is what I find most useful when dealing with bullying.

The best way to communicate that is your choice . A wave and super loud polite “Good morning/afternoon lovely day” might work. It gives the same message IMO and can’t be faulted or construed as rude or intimidating.

When people stare rudely I also find stopping and mirroring their stare sometimes help.

Tratjymp · 20/02/2023 15:40

Apologised profusely, paid for the steak which he'd put in the freezer, and left.

So you bought the steak? So nothing was actually wrong?

MyriadOfTravels · 20/02/2023 16:00

What makes me Shock is tte fact he somehow seems to think you made up the whole seizure/ambulance to be able to avoid paying fir a steak you didn’t have with you when you came out of the shop…..
So took that as a personal attack on his steak.

Well that’s my take on it.

I also assume you’re not ‘from there’ (even if you’ve lived there 20 years at least?). Another very bad point.

Not sure how you can still look at yourself in the mirror really. How dare you Grin

MyriadOfTravels · 20/02/2023 16:02

@Thighdentitycrisis , I find the best way is to kill those people with kindness.
So yes big hello, smile etc… and they end up having no leg to stand on - and you are protecting your own ‘kuddos’ within the village.

ClannadSinger · 20/02/2023 16:04

I have a similar thing with a neighbour. 10 years of him mumbling under his breath and intimidating me every time I see him over something totally stupid and irrelevant. I've recently decided I've had enough and am going to confront him next time he does it.

Thepurplelantern · 20/02/2023 16:06

He is a raging narcissist is why. They don’t behave like normal people because they aren’t normal people. Don’t give him a second thought. Taking up other people’s emotional space and energy is what keeps him in his happy place. Pretend he literally doesn’t exist for you. Just a buzzing insect is all.

thenightsky · 20/02/2023 16:13

Youraccountisnolongervalid · 20/02/2023 14:48

Could you get your 20 year old to go in and buy some meat then pass it to you as you come along - that would annoy him 😁

I love this idea!

Tellmeimcrazy · 20/02/2023 16:13

Omg what a prick. I think you should give a wave and a smile every time you walk past. Really ham up the friendliness.

mathanxiety · 20/02/2023 16:16

Make a point of walking past the shop daily for a while.

Record him on your phone.

Take your recording to the police and tell them the backstory.

MsMarch · 20/02/2023 16:17

Yes, I'm amazed you haven't been killing him with kindness. I'd have been waving wildly every time he stared at me and shouting a cheery, "oooh, what a big meat cleaver you have" as I walked past.

what a wanker.

mathanxiety · 20/02/2023 16:19

Younask why the fuck does he do this.

The answers:
1 You're a woman.
2 He has got away with it for many years.

Go to the police. He needs a cautiion.

unstoppable1 · 20/02/2023 16:24

Get someone to put his windows through 👍🏻

Englishash · 20/02/2023 16:25

Give him review online.

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