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Cooking is a bone of contention- help me learn?!

100 replies

Cantcookhavetocook · 18/02/2023 23:31

Ever since we got together my husband has cooked all of the evening meals. I hate cooking and genuinely believe I am crap at it, have no repertoire of things to cook and seem to make a mess of it even when following recipes. I also get stupidly stressed by the mess and never being able to get timings to work. Whenever I have cooked for other people I have felt mortified as it has seemed obvious to me that they haven’t enjoyed it. I know it’s all about practice but I have admittedly always taken the easy way out and never got off my arse to sort it. Not proud of this but can’t change it now! When I was young and single I got by using jars and very simple (often processed) stuff, but now we have a toddler I don’t want to rely on rubbish convenience food. Husband seems an effortless cook, just whips tasty things up from scratch without recipes, but I know that at some point he too had to learn, and this is no excuse for me not to pull my weight!

The reason I’m having this epiphany is that we are now at a point where I am on maternity leave and he works full time, mostly from home but with a few long days out a month, is about to take on a new role with more responsibility, and he still cooks tea every night. I am ashamed to say he even rushes home when not working from home to make sure he’s able to cook. No point in flaming me, I know this is shocking!

So long story short, can you help me scrape together a repertoire of simple but healthy meals with everyday ingredients? I have an almost 3-year-old and an 11 week old baby, so I need to be able to easily get the ingredients and cook while managing them aswell. I know I could Google recipes for spag bol and stuff, but they always seem complicated with red wine etc. I just want family friendly recipes that taste pretty good but aren’t too taxing on either the shopping or the cooking front. I suppose budget friendly would be a bonus too!

I will massively appreciate any help you can give
me to become a domestic goddess!!! Thanks in hope!

OP posts:
WithFlamingLocksOfAuburnHair · 19/02/2023 08:49

Delia Smith Complete Cookery Course was my first cookbook and still my reference point. Neven Maguire is an Irish chef whose recipes are pretty straightforward and don't use too much exotic ingredients. The food always come out really well. I'd recommend his books too (but would also add that any cakes of his seem to cook faster than my oven so expect to add time if you're using those).

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 19/02/2023 08:52

Delia’s How To Cook.
It doesn’t assume that you know anything.

BooCrew · 19/02/2023 08:53

Davros · 19/02/2023 00:08

Don't learn. I thought about it long ago but realised that I would then be doing EVERYTHING

I heartily agree with this 😁 I do the housework, my partner does the cooking. I could learn... I can follow a recipe, I just find it really stressful... but there's no way he's pick up the housework, so I don't.

OP, I felt like this when I was on mat leave. I did end up cooking some days, but only when my baby wasn't a grizzly mess at 6pm. Shepherd's pie is really easy, it's just rather a lot of chopping first. BBC good food website has some really basic, easy recipes and the comments often suggest workarounds if you're missing an ingredient. And no-one is ever going to object to eggs, sausages and chips.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

sunlovingcriminal · 19/02/2023 08:53

There are YouTube videos for pretty much any recipe. Watch and follow! Voila!

Michellexxx · 19/02/2023 08:54

I agree with the roasting tin books- all into one tin and relatively straightforward.

I have this code for a green chef box and you can order 3 meals for 2 people for just the delivery charge (£5) the first time. Then cancel online. Just go through it and choose your recipes- it’s owned by the same company as hello fresh.

www.greenchef.co.uk/plans?c=FIH-VNPSA69YSD57&plans_ab=true&utm_campaign=clipboard&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=raf-share-hpt

WellTidy · 19/02/2023 08:55

When I had DC1, and started weaning him, I then started to be more aware of what everyone in the family ate. DC1 would only eat home cooked things, not a single thing out of a jar (however much I tried to disguise it, for ease sometimes) and I cooked the whole repertoire of Annabel Karmel’s recipes for him. He now eats pretty much everything and loves to cook. I’d only ever cooked a curry and a lasagne (which, looking back, was not good) from scratch before.

The Roasting Tin Cookbook by Rukmini Iyer is great, but the Quick Roasting Tin Cookbook is better, I’d say, for someone in your position. Everything is done in less than half an hour (sometimes the prep will mean that it takes longer than 30 minutes, but not much). And it all cooks in the oven, so once it’s in there, you can walk away, no need to stay at the hob.

That said, if you’re looking for more of the basics of cooking recipes than this, I’d say you can’t beat Delia Complete Cookery. It’s been around for years.

Jamie Oliver’s Five Ingredients recipe book is good if you’re not confident, as there isn’t much to manage in the recipe. And cheaper, due to fewer ingredients. You could start with his quick and easy carbonara.

The BBC good food website is brilliant. I only ever cook something that has high ratings, and I look through the comments to see what people have done to adapt the recipes. And you could just search ‘Easy’ for easier to prepare things.

as well as carbonara, is my easiest dinner to cook in ten minutes: lemon prawn and chilli linguine. Boil the linguine/spaghetti in one pan. And in another (bigger) pan, warm a tablespoon or so of oil. Add two crushed cloves of garlic (if you have garlic oil, put that in the pan and warm it). Add the prawns. If they’re uncooked, you’ll need to cook them in the oil, which won’t take long, if they’re cooked already, you’re just warming them through. Add one finely chopped chilli, or chilli flakes instead if that’s what you have. Add lemon juice, quite a lot of it (you can buy bottles of lemon juice much cheaper than fresh lemons). Add a salt and pepper. By now the linguine is cooked, so drain that and add it to the sauce you’ve made and toss it around so that it’s all covered. Ta da! Taste it. Does it need more salt? More pepper? More lemon? Add whatever you think.

You can do half prawns and half crab if that’s what you like, or just crab. But if you’re doing just crab, add some crème fraiche.

ProfYaffle · 19/02/2023 08:55

Have a look at the Sidekick app from sorted food. It allows you select a 'pack' of 3 recipes, it generates a shopping list and then has videos demonstrating how to cook the recipes. My newly student daughter has been using it to teach herself a few things.

I also bought her a book called Nosh for Students which I was really impressed with. It starts with really simple, basic dishes and works through to more complicated ones as you pick up skills.

HardStareBear · 19/02/2023 09:00

I really rate Recipe Tin Eats. Lots of tasty food with videos to follow.

I also suggest using the Whisk app to store recipes that you like and will use again. It saves the stress of trying to remember where you got a certain recipe from. The app also has food 'communities' that you can join to share recipes and you can meal plan and create shopping lists too.

stepkidscopingstrategy · 19/02/2023 09:09

If you want easy stress free meals - don't do hello fresh or Gousto. I can cook fine but following their instructions stressed me out!
Google things like easy spag bol and choose the bbc good food option. Soup is easy too.
Cooking for me is basically looking what vegetables I have in the fridge and then thinking : do I fancy a stew/ curry/ pasta kind of dish or do I want something like salmon (fried in a pan) with baby potatoes and frozen peas and fried broccoli with garlic.
I fry everything in olive oil.
I boil my veg with the lid on in about 2 cm's of water.
It's basically trial an error- carrots and root veg take longer than other veg.
You can fry most veg and you can eat most veg when it's raw too (except aubergine) so don't fret if the veg is a bit hard when you dish up -it's healthier anyway lol.
How do you think people come up with new recipes - it all just giving things a go. Don't overthink x

readingismycardio · 19/02/2023 09:10

Cantcookhavetocook · 18/02/2023 23:47

Why not ask him to show you?
@UWhatNow he has done but it has never stuck. He just chucks stuff in and doesn’t always do the same every time. I could get him to try and write down what he does but am trying to give him less work to do

This made me laugh, it seems that all good cooks do this. I need EXACT ingredients in grams 😂

AnnaMagnani · 19/02/2023 10:38

Why not ask him to show you?

I tried this with DH. By the end of one meal, it was clear that if I carried on trying to teach him, we would be divorced.

I am sure someone can teach him to cook, it just isn't me.

BinturongsSmellOfPopcorn · 19/02/2023 11:04

The BBC website is really good for trying a few recipes from a particular fopd writer or chef before you commit to buying the whole book.

You could start with 1 of the chicken dishes or 1 of the pasta bakes here: www.bbc.co.uk/food/search?chefs=rukmini_iyer
Each is a whole meal, so you don't have to worry about getting the timing for different dishes to tie up.

CuddlySnail · 19/02/2023 11:20

OP, I was the same - couldn't cook and didn't want to learn. During Covid though, I was determined to finally get my act together. And I'm pleased to say that I now have some decent skills and actually kind of enjoy it (well, sort of!). Like @BreviloquentBastard I'd suggest the Simply Cook boxes - it sounds ridiculous to say, but they're what made the difference for me. Simple recipes, a few basic ingredients to buy and, with time, you can start making your own versions. They're also much less of an investment than Hello Fresh/Gousto and no risk of food going off. Here's a link for a free box if you'd like it: smply.in/GQVDFP (this can be used multiple times, and I get a free box too, so thank you to anyone who uses it!).

Christmascracker0 · 19/02/2023 11:27

Another vote for Gousto / Hello Fresh boxes. I don’t have much interest in cooking but find it much easier with the boxes! Once you have the recipe cards you can begin to build a repertoire of meals you like to cook 😊

BogRollBOGOF · 19/02/2023 12:18

I'm the type that glazes over by stage 3 of a recipe. I tend to look at them, get inspiration and do it my own way with whatever is to hand.

A simple way to cook recipe-free is:
Brown onions, garlic, herbs/ spices.
Add meat and brown with them (this spreads the flavour)
Add chopped vegetables (slower to cook vegetables can be sped up in the microwave first)
Add stock/ tomatoes (creamy sauces tend to need less cooking and more care)
Simmer gently and stir making sure food doesn't stick to the bottom. Pasta/ rice can be cooked in this time.

That's the basic method that will cover many foods from bolgnese/ chillis/ curries/ stews. The skill is learning what cooked looks like and what flavours work together which can take some practice. Watching youtube videos of cooking also helps give an idea even if it's not the same food.

A lot of recipes can over-complicate and get over detailed about quantities. It matters with things like baking, but not most day-to-day cooking.

Cantcookhavetocook · 19/02/2023 19:10

I honestly feel a bit emotional about these replies, complete strangers going out of their way to help me 😢 Thank you all SO much!!! I am going to go through every post and make a plan of attack 😀

OP posts:
Cantcookhavetocook · 19/02/2023 19:17

@WellTidy this post is stellar! Have already got a screen shot of Jamie’s easy carbonara and got Rukmini’s quick book downloaded on the Kindle. Lemon prawns sound delicious and totally do-able even for me!

I have also dug out Jamie’s MoF and folded a few pages down ready to make some decisions- have told DH I’m cooking two nights this week as a starting point. Yay actually kind of excited now! Hope the kids don’t kick off when I start weaving my magic! 😅

Argh I am so blown away by you lovely people! Thanks again! ❤️

OP posts:
Cantcookhavetocook · 19/02/2023 19:20

AnnaMagnani · 19/02/2023 10:38

Why not ask him to show you?

I tried this with DH. By the end of one meal, it was clear that if I carried on trying to teach him, we would be divorced.

I am sure someone can teach him to cook, it just isn't me.

Yeah this aswell tbh! I’m not the best pupil when I’m stressed!

OP posts:
Rebellious23 · 19/02/2023 19:42

Have you got Instagram? There's always good recipes on there. Both these are sausage based but they're the only ones I seem to have saved!

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CoaVgRFocsV/?igshid=MDJmNzVkMjY=

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CnFPdY-hy5d/?igshid=MDJmNzVkMjY=

Rebellious23 · 19/02/2023 19:44

And a Thai green curry (I don't add the aubergine as I don't like it!) it's a very forgiving recipe

https://fb.watch/iOdqddj1St/

DisforDarkChocolate · 19/02/2023 19:47

Rukmini Iyer's Roasting Tin books.

This website www.recipetineats.com/oven-baked-chicken-and-rice/

WellTidy · 19/02/2023 19:52

Cantcookhavetocook · 19/02/2023 19:17

@WellTidy this post is stellar! Have already got a screen shot of Jamie’s easy carbonara and got Rukmini’s quick book downloaded on the Kindle. Lemon prawns sound delicious and totally do-able even for me!

I have also dug out Jamie’s MoF and folded a few pages down ready to make some decisions- have told DH I’m cooking two nights this week as a starting point. Yay actually kind of excited now! Hope the kids don’t kick off when I start weaving my magic! 😅

Argh I am so blown away by you lovely people! Thanks again! ❤️

Aaaah, you’re very welcome. Good luck!

BashirWithTheGoodBeard · 19/02/2023 19:54

What level is your cooking at now- could you cook a steak for example? A fry up? Boil eggs?

Nomechanged · 19/02/2023 22:40

I could have written your post. Am currently at contributing 2 nights a week but want to increase to a longer recipe at the weekend too and this thread has motivated me. Love the Rukmini Books, simple but taste great and give you a much needed confidence boost. Good luck and solidarity!

Nearamir · 10/05/2023 19:10

I second Delia’s learn to cook. She almost goes as far as to tell you to take the knife out of the drawer in order to chop! Assumes zero knowledge and it brilliant.
If you have the money, Gousto is also amazing (miles better than HelloFresh btw). We get two recipes per week for four people and it totally takes away the stress of what to cook……normally have enough leftovers for at least one lunch the next day too.

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