Cooking is a bone of contention- help me learn?!

[Cantcookhavetocook]

Ever since we got together my husband has cooked all of the evening meals. I hate cooking and genuinely believe I am crap at it, have no repertoire of things to cook and seem to make a mess of it even when following recipes. I also get stupidly stressed by the mess and never being able to get timings to work. Whenever I have cooked for other people I have felt mortified as it has seemed obvious to me that they haven’t enjoyed it. I know it’s all about practice but I have admittedly always taken the easy way out and never got off my arse to sort it. Not proud of this but can’t change it now! When I was young and single I got by using jars and very simple (often processed) stuff, but now we have a toddler I don’t want to rely on rubbish convenience food. Husband seems an effortless cook, just whips tasty things up from scratch without recipes, but I know that at some point he too had to learn, and this is no excuse for me not to pull my weight!

The reason I’m having this epiphany is that we are now at a point where I am on maternity leave and he works full time, mostly from home but with a few long days out a month, is about to take on a new role with more responsibility, and he still cooks tea every night. I am ashamed to say he even rushes home when not working from home to make sure he’s able to cook. No point in flaming me, I know this is shocking!

So long story short, can you help me scrape together a repertoire of simple but healthy meals with everyday ingredients? I have an almost 3-year-old and an 11 week old baby, so I need to be able to easily get the ingredients and cook while managing them aswell. I know I could Google recipes for spag bol and stuff, but they always seem complicated with red wine etc. I just want family friendly recipes that taste pretty good but aren’t too taxing on either the shopping or the cooking front. I suppose budget friendly would be a bonus too!

I will massively appreciate any help you can give
me to become a domestic goddess!!! Thanks in hope!

Get cooking with your hubby. Mine couldn't cook at all and now he whips up Sunday dinners,cakes puddings, pastas etc from doing it with me. Now we have 4 kids who join in to

So, in this scenario my husband is you and he genuinely doesn't seem wracked with guilt over being a shit cook, but nonetheless...

If cash isn't an issue then Hello Fresh/Gusto is actually a brilliant shout. You get everything you need, portioned out, with step-by-step instructions. Impossible to fuck up.

If that's maybe too £££ then I think you need to go right back to basics to get a little confidence, and you can build from then. Sausage, beans and chips is just a case of putting the sausages and frozen chips into the oven, heating the beans.

Jacket potatoes, cheese, beans or other bought toppings like egg/tuna mayo is literally just a case of pricking some tatties and putting them in the oven.

Ditto pizza.

There is lots of stuff that is totally easy to do. Master that first, then you'll be able to move onto the Jamies, etc. And there's nothing wrong with pasta and jarred sauce either, by the way.

I think it's a good idea to start with easy stuff and work you way up from there.

A few really easy (yet tasty !) recipes :

• Vegetable omelette : easy to make with grated cheese and frozen vegetable, and fast too
• Tomato soup : just toss in a pot some tomatoes, water, broth (optional), herbs and spices to your taste. Cook for a while then mix with cream cheese.
• Pasta with sauce (I usually make the sauce with pureed tomatoes, minced meat, onion and whatever other vegetable I have on hand)
• Vegetable like broccoli, carrots, sweet potatoes, etc, usually taste great pureed with cream cheese or butter, and spices
• Frozen fish can be cooked in the microwave in a matter of minutes
• Cauliflower with bechamel gratin, good winter dish and fairly easy

I would start with the bolognaise recipe @secondaryquandries posted. It’s nice and simple and many stove top recipes follows similar principle so once you master it you’ll be able to do other stove top meals.

I think everyone should know how to cook eggs in a variety of ways, jacket potatoes, roast chicken and home made salad dressing.

Can you also start trying boiled eggs or scrambled eggs for lunch?

Id focus on trying one recipe 3 - 4 times so you get sone practice at it then move on to the next. Good luck!

Try and get hold of Delia's original books or maybe source the TV series that went with them. She deals with the basics no nonsense style , and with that you can build your repertoire, good luck!

Stuffed mushrooms is my favourite at the moment. Preheat oven and start cooking rice. 1/4 mug rice, 1/2 saucepan water, bring to the boil then simmer, stir constantly or it'll stick to the pan. Huge mushroom, rub the dirt off under a tap. 2 or 3 spring onions, top and tail, cut a slit lengthwise and peel the thin outermost grubby layer off, chop into 1cm ish bits, put in mushroom. Slab of cheese 3/4 cm thick, I recommend cheddar with garlic and onion but anything will do, put it on top of the mushroom. Bake at 200°C for 13min (or a few minutes more if you want it brown on top) with some whole tomatoes on the tray too. Rice should be done (taste a grain to check it's soft), drain it and plate it up with some herbs, salt and pepper if you want those and a little olive oil. Add stuffed mushroom and tomatoes. Eat. Double the quantities for two people.

Start simple, and build from there.

Recipe 1

You need

Pasta - any type of dried pasta but tagliatelle comes in 'nests' 2 is perfect for one person, three if you are really hungry
A pan of boiling water
Sliced mushrooms - you can buy pre sliced
A tub of cream cheese - actually you only need half but you can't buy half
butter - about a desert spoon full
salt and pepper
a frying pan
a wooden spoon or spatula
A desert spoon

Put the pasta in the boiling water and set a timer for 10 mins.

When the timer goes off put the butter in the frying pan, put it on high and melt the butter.

As the butter melts add the mushrooms and salt and pepper.

Keep moving the mushrooms around the pan, they will absorb all the butter. Once they are cooked they will be soft and browned.

At this point use the spoon to put half the tub of cream cheese in the pan, then use the spoon to add 2-3 spoons of the water the pasta is in.

Turn off the pasta and drain into a colander, then add this to the frying pan and make sure the pasta is coated with the cheese and mushroom mix.

Eat.

When you have done this a couple of times you can start to add in other ingredients like bacon lardons, parmesan, peppers.

Delia Smith: How to Cook (and/or DeliaOnline)
Jamie Oliver: Ministry of Food

Sorted.

I agree with this. I love the calm style and clear style of her writing and, if I remember correctly, she was one of the few cooks at the time I started cooking who explained WHY you do or don't do something. When I left home, many years ago now, I really trusted her recipes and enjoyed her no nonsense but calm programmes too. Good luck OP. 🌹

Agree with traybakes. The roasting tin books are great for this and very easy

OP, I was/am like you. Not a natural cook but keen to provide decent home cooked food for dc. Timings, stress, all the same.

For your little ones, keep it very simple and learn to cook;
A decent omelette, with cheese and herbs (buy a good non-stick pan).

Grilled chicken breast with cherry tomatoes and mushrooms
A basic casserole (which can be ignored for hours)
Find a butcher who home-makes really good sausages

That's clever!

My partner does most of the cooking and I do the meals he doesn’t - eg he doesn’t do pies (mash or pastry topped), puddings, things cooked in creamy sauces, soups. This makes me feel like more of an expert in ‘my’ things. Is there a cuisine or particular meal you like that your husband doesn’t cook?

(although btw now we’re both working it is much better that he cooks. He enjoys it, it’s a steady thing to do without needing reminding, I do most other things. So my advice would be don’t do everything!!!)

Check out Eating with the Kids on Instagram, she does recipes packs that are kid friendly but great for adults too. I have the slow cooker pack and make something from that usually 4 times a week. Really simple to follow and I'm like you I struggle with everything when it comes to cooking!

I also recommend the Roasting Tin, such yummy but easy and quick mid week meals!

I really love the chickpea and halloumi recipe in it.

www.amazon.co.uk/Quick-Roasting-Tin-Rukmini-Iyer/dp/1529110068/ref=asc_df_1529110068/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=310882654267&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=16980074144566435104&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1007097&hvtargid=pla-756930166719&psc=1&th=1&psc=1

Try Cooking With My Kids (mostly baking recipes but some dinners too). Or maybe a student cookbook to start with some really basic things?

‘Learning how to cook’ sounds very daunting. Why don’t you just start with cooking once a week (probably on a weekend when your DH can keep an eye on the kids). If you make the same thing every time no one will care.

My DP did this, he started off with the Jamie Oliver book that’s already been recommended & worked his way through a few recipes. We had a lot of spag Bol for a bit! Now he’s more confident he cooks a couple of times & week and uses Good Food a lot. Also now my DDs are in their teens they take turns to cook once a week too - also using Good Food mostly.

I used hellofresh for a year I think, before I had enough confidence to just follow the cards, and then ad lib the recipes slightly! Someone else showing me, or other recipes just never stuck. I liked how clear and easy to follow they were.

How about prepping food for the slow cooker a couple of times a week.

Really easy no cooking involved. Just chop ingredients and add meat spices sauce etc and turn on. The meal will be ready later whilst you enjoy your day. You'll only need to cook sides - pasta rice veg potatoes. Slow cooker is also great when you have children as you can prepare earlier in the day ( when you have more energy or child naps)

Check out taming twins website for ideas. Some great child friendly meals - chilli curry Italian etc she has a one pot sausage pasta that is so easy. She also suggests some great short cuts like frozen diced onion, frozen garlic chilli etc

I also second gousto as you get everything you need in the desired quantity to create a meal and good step by step instructions

Consider trying Simply Cook boxes? My daughter is learning to cook with these - they're very easy recipes but varied and yummy, provide you with a simple shopping list for each one, and it's helping her to learn how seasonings, spices and flavours work, what things can be substituted for other things, how a recipe can be adapted to suit different tastes... Then when she gets the hang of one with the Simply Cook seasoning blends and recipe cards, she has a go at making it herself with what she's learned and what we've got in the spice rack.

She also swears by watching endless cooking shows you YouTube, she's very fond of one called Sorted Food if you have the time in the day to watch videos - helps with learning actual kitchen skills and terminology if you can see it in action I think!

She's got a repertoire of a few curries, stews, pasta dishes and some simple "chicken and veggies" dishes now that she can whip up from scratch, and she's started actually enjoying cooking (which is a huge bonus for me and husband!)

@Cantcookhavetocook I recommend Tesco Real Food for online recipes.
Straightforward with 'normal' ingredients. Some of the online ones are overwhelming aren't they, recommending 19 different quirky ingredients.
Like pp have said, Jamie's ministry of food is amazing too.

Good idea, Lady.

I was going to suggest that if you really feel the need to learn to cook (I don’t think it’s too much that your husband cooks and works. Looking after two. little ones is a LOT of work) .

But ask hubby if you could do the cooking while he tells you how. He could sit there and talk to you and have a glass of wine or something and instruct you on what to do. If you are doing it you are more likely to learn than if you are just watching. And then you’ll be able to take it in turns to cook.

Also someone said Nigella. I agree. She can sometimes use ingredients that can be hard to find but in her later series (pl) she does less of that. She’s entertaining, and also sometimes gives some handy hints on why something may not turn out properly.

A slow cooker was my best investment. Pretty much throw all the ingredients for Stew or soup in that morning. By mid afternoon you have a delicious meal. There are heaps of stew/ soup recipes on the internet for a slow cooker.

My sister swears by her air fryer. Look into that maybe. It cooks things like crispy chicken apparently, and all you have to do is make a really nutritious salad (including some grated carrots and zucchini which helps get veges into the kids).

I've got the Gousto app and will occasionally buy a box if they send me a voucher.

Some of the recipes have become regular meals for us and I see the boxes as an opportunity to try something new. If we like it then I buy the ingredients myself next time.

What is handy now, however, is that all the recipes are listed in the "cookbook" so even if you don't buy a box you have access to the really simple step by step directions.

Just gather the ingredients first and measure them all out per their list then it's as if you've got a Gousto box.

Student cook books are often very useful, and assume you don’t know much about cooking so go though each step. I had one called ‘Grub on a Grant’ when I went to university, and occasionally still use it now! It’s probably out of print now but there should be something similar for today’s students.

this book is brilliant. The lady is on Instagram. Her name is Taming Twins.
Her recipes are dead easy, family cooking and with only a few ingredients. They work and are really tasty.

I think if you can cook a few things and they go well, your confidence will grow. Good luck!