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Original poster

When visiting someone’s house - do you read greetings cards?

151 replies

Username24680 · 18/02/2023 21:31

You pop in to visit someone - there are cards sitting on display (Valentines on this occasion). Would it enter your mind to go and read the cards?

OP posts:
RoseMartha · 19/02/2023 00:46

If it was my sister yes, everyone else no.

Original poster
Username24680 · 19/02/2023 04:43

🤣🤣 Thanks all! I’m glad I’m not the only one that thinks it’s odd! MIL heads straight for the cards everytime she comes round if there are any out 🤔
Today it was straight to the Valentines cards and she was extremely offended when I commented on her reading them 😬🙄

OP posts:
custardbear · 19/02/2023 04:57

No, and when MIL does it, including valentines cards, it makes me really uncomfortable

WandaWonder · 19/02/2023 05:17

If I was left alone in a room for an hour with no tv and was really bored maybe but if at a busy party no

So depends

Captiancorrellistuba · 19/02/2023 05:25

No, it's rude. It's like looking in someone's bathroom cupboard when you use their loo - you just don't do it.

MrsMikeDrop · 19/02/2023 05:53

MintJulia · 18/02/2023 21:33

Yes, if they are obviously on display.

I can't imagine anyone would display a card that contained anything too intimate.

This. I'd be tempted, but probably only if they left the room 🤣

Mummyoflittledragon · 19/02/2023 05:58

Yes, that’s really rude. Messages between grown adults, who are intimate with one another should remain private. If they weren’t, you’d be able to read them without opening.

I’m trying to think of a circumstance, where it would be ok. Perhaps a parent reading congratulatory messages for the birth of a grandchild, maybe. Or a close family member reading condolence cards. Realistically, permission should still be sought from the recipient of the card as a matter of respect.

MmedeGouge · 19/02/2023 06:20

My sister does. She tuts and raises her eyebrows if she does not like the sentiments expressed in the verses, she reads them aloud in a scathing way. She even comments on the standard of writing and choice of illustrations.
Fortunately she, quite unintentionally, amuses me.

CoffeeAndEnnui · 19/02/2023 06:26

I'm so glad this thread exists! A close friend always reaches for cards and notes when he's in my home and it drives me bananas, I feel actively uncomfortable about it. To the extent that this Christmas I had put a few very personal cards at more of a distance when he was due...and he had STILL reached for them and started reading when I left the room. I had to speak up and say that I was totally weirded out and he was baffled.

Cards are up for me and DD to enjoy not for anyone else. Happy for visitors to see the pretty pictures on display but not for anyone to go nosing at the messages inside. If they want a closer look at my private life I'd rather they opened my bills!

UseOfWeapons · 19/02/2023 06:33

No, I wouldn’t.

AuntieStella · 19/02/2023 06:34

I'd read them, if on display and can be read without touching.

I wouldn't pick them up to check the inside wording (so whether you can see it depends on where they're displayed) or go rootling.

I think it's entirely unrealistic to expect visitors not to notice things you have chosen to put on display.

EekGoesTheBaby · 19/02/2023 06:43

MuggleMe · 18/02/2023 21:36

Never again. Mindlessly read one on my parents mantelpiece and it was a note from a family friend criticising the relationship between me and my then fiancé. Why risk putting that on display??

Reader, we celebrated our 15 year anniversary last year.

I wouldn't read them unless I was super close and not valentine's.

Yikes! How does that even work?

"Happy Christmas, Bob and Sue. We hope you are enjoying the holiday season. All the best to you and your family, except Muggle and her twat of a fiancé, as those two will never last.

Hugs and kisses,

Bernice"

As for me, i think it's rude to look inside someone else's greeting cards, even when they're 'on display'.

Crostimosti · 19/02/2023 06:59

I do at my mum and dad's because I know they don't mind. Only Christmas cards from their friends and family though, I wouldn't read their cards to each other or from my siblings - I think it's personal. And I wouldn't read anyone else's cards at all. I don't buy the whole 'if it's on display' argument. People should be able to put cards up in their own home without a guest nosying through them.

I suspect my MIL reads ours as they've often moved slightly when she's around and I once caught her having a good look at some cards I was about to post to see who they were addressed to ( she jumped when I came into the room!)

I read the Christmas cards as it's nice to be reminded of people from years ago - we moved after I left school so lots of our life got left behind.

Mayofearandloathing · 19/02/2023 07:02

No. Very poor manners.

Gufo · 19/02/2023 07:02

MIL does this - it's weird.

Picklewicklepickle · 19/02/2023 07:28

No it’s really rude, plus who’d want to risk reading someone else’s Valentine’s message?? The outside of the card is on display but you’d have to be a nosey bitch to go pick it up and open it!

Sparklingbrook · 19/02/2023 07:31

Nosy and rude. Plus what does anyone gain from reading them? 🤷‍♀️

Smoothlines · 19/02/2023 07:37

Depends. At my parents’, definitely. They would expect me to. That’s why they are up on display. Not if I didn’t know someone well.

Jeffjefftyjeff · 19/02/2023 07:42

My Dad ALWAYS does this. He then asks questions about what he’s read. He came round yesterday and I hid the valentines cards in advance 😆

Sparklingbrook · 19/02/2023 07:43

Same people that gawp at your kitchen calendar and have a peek in your bathroom cabinet. Nosy 🧐

Wrongsideofpennines · 19/02/2023 07:47

Not generally no. But maybe with family I might read Christmas or birthday cards. But not a Valentines or anniversary. And especially not family as there could be a message in there all about their sex life that I have no desire to read at all.

DNBU · 19/02/2023 07:48

No but my mum and MIL would read mine, so I think it’s a grey area

ThreeRingCircus · 19/02/2023 07:49

It's extremely bad manners and I can't believe people on here saying leaving them out is an invitation for other people to read them. They're probably the sort of people who probably look to see what appointments are written on your wall calender or read your post if it's left out.

LouLou198 · 19/02/2023 08:01

No. My Nan does this, I think its really rude! The message could be personal.

sammylady37 · 19/02/2023 08:04

I really despise nosy people. Reading someone’s cards is intrusive and rude. And no, them being on display is not an invitation for others to read them. Someone doing this in my home would be asked to stop pretty sharply and if invited back would be watched quite closely for other invasions of privacy.

A guest once went to the bathroom in my house, walking past the main bathroom to go into the en-suite and then looked in the cupboard there and had the nerve to come back to the kitchen and question me on something she’d seen there. She has not been in my home since.