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Original poster

My 21 yo son and 19yo GF plan to rent a house together

212 replies

Menomaddness · 16/02/2023 07:35

This is a good thing generally, they've been together 2 years, spend a lot of time sleeping here and it's time. They both work but not in especially well paid jobs. About £45k income between them, but DS is on a decent career path. GF less so but she's very young.

Rent will be £1200 pm plus bills.

They do not have £1200 left at the end of the month currently, both spend money like water, but I guess when they have to they'll sort that out. DS pays keep of £200pm currently.

What worries me is the future. If they spend all this on rent, they'll never buy anything, but I also recognise that feels like an impossible dream anyway. An ex council flat is about £250k to buy here, so even if they saved 10 or 20% deposit, they wouldn't get the mortgage on their income.

However, I also know that as someone close to retirement with the mortgage paid off, buying young has made my current situation much better than it would otherwise be. I really can't imaging paying £1200 pm rent throughout retirement (more if they don't stay in a starter home forever).

Where will generation rent live as retirees?

Obviously it's a really long way off, but is there something of a time bomb for this gernation of young people?

OP posts:
MomFromSE · 16/02/2023 11:28

The proportion of people renting vs owning had actually reduced not increased over the last 8 years. People will potentially rent for longer or live at home for longer but not forever @gra

Sep200024 · 16/02/2023 11:29

The OP literally says she has been lucky enough to buy young and is now close to retirement age with the mortgage almost paid off!!

Why on earth would she not want to pass some of that good fortune down to her own son?!?!

Stop charging him rent, and help him to save!!!

meganorks · 16/02/2023 11:33

YABU. You are massively over thinking this. They are so young, the chances they will still be together even 10 years from now are slim, let alone still renting the same place. I don't think buying at such a young age is a good thing to be honest. It's a huge expense, a massive responsibility and can really tie you down when you want to be free to make big decisions (like changing jobs/relationships/travel etc etc)
It will be a massive expense for them, but one way or another it might be the making of them. You say they spend money like water. We'll that will have to stop. And once they are responsible for all their own expenses, their attitudes will shift. I would maybe try and sit them down with a spreadsheet to try and help them with budgeting before they finally decide to see in black and white what they can and can't afford. But other than that, if they want to rent, it's not the worst thing in the world

Interested in this thread?

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General money
garlictwist · 16/02/2023 11:35

They are 19 and 21. They are not meant to buy a house at this age and nor should they buy together so early into their lives/relatiosnship. I think you're worrying over nothing. They'll buy a house in their 30s like most people.

PurpleReindeer2 · 16/02/2023 11:38

The younger generation struggle with getting a mortgage. My DS (23) and his girlfriend have saved hard and now have a deposit (25k) for a small terraced house priced at £190k. They earn £50k combined and both work full time. They were turned down for a mortgage as they were told that they couldn't demonstrate enough credit history. They were advised to rent and then reapply in 18mths. The mortgage advisor said this gives them time to show that they can make regular payments ontime and builds credit history. As a result, they are paying more in rent for 18mths than their mortgage payment would be.

nanodyne · 16/02/2023 11:45

I get you OP, it's a generational timebomb that politicians are avoiding because the current generation of pensioners won't vote for any policies (e.g. higher inheritance tax, rent controls) that might tackle it. Too many of our present day pensioners have rental income as their primary retirement fund, so it's not something either party wants to address in a meaningful way. We're already seeing the damage a lack of foresight and preparation for an aged population is having on our infrastructure with the crisis is social care compounded by the recent CoL problems.
As someone else said, realistically it's going to be the case that millennials/gen z and so on just aren't going to be allowed to retire. I can't see the NHS or state pension existing by the time I'm in my mid-60s because there's no political appetite to get ahead of the problem now, while there's still time to build some robustness into the system.

Versailles2023 · 16/02/2023 11:46

PurpleReindeer2 · 16/02/2023 11:38

The younger generation struggle with getting a mortgage. My DS (23) and his girlfriend have saved hard and now have a deposit (25k) for a small terraced house priced at £190k. They earn £50k combined and both work full time. They were turned down for a mortgage as they were told that they couldn't demonstrate enough credit history. They were advised to rent and then reapply in 18mths. The mortgage advisor said this gives them time to show that they can make regular payments ontime and builds credit history. As a result, they are paying more in rent for 18mths than their mortgage payment would be.

guarantor mortgage calculator

you could help with this?

PurpleReindeer2 · 16/02/2023 11:49

Versailles2023 · 16/02/2023 11:46

guarantor mortgage calculator

you could help with this?

Show quote history

They lived with me for a year to help them save the deposit. They've moved into their rental now. They will relook to buy and reapply for a mortgage towards the end of their 12 month rental. I will investigate this guarantor option to help them. Thanks x

Nocrispsinthehouse · 16/02/2023 11:56

My sister and her partner are long term renters on low salaries. They are now late 40’s and early 50’s . I can’t see them ever being able to own their own home but they will have to work full time into old age to be able to afford the high rental rates here (SE too).

JussathoB · 16/02/2023 11:56

GetUps · 16/02/2023 11:10

I strongly suspect all the people with all the answers don't have adult children.

Yes they'd provably be better off in a houseshare or staying at home until they've saved some money, but that's not my decision.

Yes, I'd rather he'd live a bit before settling down with a teenager, nuybim not about to tell him and potentially the mother of my GC they'd be better off apart.

But really the point of my post was a discussion re the societal change which will see many more retirees renting.

I think you’re right that it’s a time bomb …. Most people on pensions would find it difficult to pay rent, and if this has to be dealt with by government subsidies and housing benefit, then I really don’t know how in earth the taxpayers and younger generation will be able to fund it.
However we can’t solve that today. I think it’s clear that if you can, it’s a good idea to buy property at some point if you are able to. But that doesn’t have to be now if you are in your early twenties

Original poster
Menomaddness · 16/02/2023 11:57

Sep200024 · 16/02/2023 11:29

The OP literally says she has been lucky enough to buy young and is now close to retirement age with the mortgage almost paid off!!

Why on earth would she not want to pass some of that good fortune down to her own son?!?!

Stop charging him rent, and help him to save!!!

Well as it happens I have charged keep precisely to help him.

He was always going to spend whatever money he had. I've taken keep off him in an attempt to teach him that living costs money and I've saved it all to give back to him when he needs it for a home of his own - although he doesn't know that yet because it would have defeated the object.

And yes to PP who asked, he has a help to buy ISA that I set up with him for his 18th birthday. I actually paid in the max lump sum for him and he was paying the max monthly SO, but I don't know if he's kept that up or if he still has any of the money. He might, he might not, it's not my business and TBH if he has blown it all, I don't want to know.

OP posts:
JussathoB · 16/02/2023 12:00

Oblomov23 · 16/02/2023 11:19

Hmm. Have you talked to him about this all? Both of them being so blasé about money and spending it like water. I would want them both to change that attitude.
I would/may offer for a dc to live at home for a set period, say a year, but only if I truly believed they were going to do everything in their power to save every penny towards a deposit.

Although I agree the young adults need to be sensible, I think this approach might bring plenty of tensions and ultimately misery all round.

EL8888 · 16/02/2023 12:03

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 16/02/2023 07:43

Would they not move together into one of the parents homes for a year, bank the 1200 they'd be paying on rent, then in a years time they'll have a decent deposit. Plus it's a trial for affordability.

That won’t make a decent deposit though, £14,400 is barely the beginning. Plus personally l wouldn’t want my child and their partner living with me for years

These days something dramatic needs to be done to get on the property ladder. Even 10 years ago when l did it, it was tricky and l made sacrifices: moved to a cheaper area far away, bought a wreck, did as much work as we could ourselves on it etc

Toddlingturtle · 16/02/2023 12:03

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 16/02/2023 07:43

Would they not move together into one of the parents homes for a year, bank the 1200 they'd be paying on rent, then in a years time they'll have a decent deposit. Plus it's a trial for affordability.

no way would I have my child's BF/GF living with me. They're very young, they can live at home for a bit and save

Original poster
Menomaddness · 16/02/2023 12:04

For my, very fortunate children, the reality is that when I think they're ready I'll give them a deposit and they can swap the rent for mortgage payments, but I don't like the idea rhay that's their life plan (so I haven't told them) and I'm interested in what this move towards renting for longer means for society as a whole.

I can't and won't help them buy now becuase when I do, the gift will be to "them". I won't set up a situation where DS owns a greater share of their home, but I don't yet feel comfortable in giving the money to them as a couple so young.

Probably, financially, the sensible thing is for DS to own a house they live in together, but that doesn't seem like a recipie for happiness to me.

OP posts:
IneedanewTV · 16/02/2023 12:07

garlictwist · 16/02/2023 11:35

They are 19 and 21. They are not meant to buy a house at this age and nor should they buy together so early into their lives/relatiosnship. I think you're worrying over nothing. They'll buy a house in their 30s like most people.

Exactly this. I bought my house with partner in 1998 and I was 34. Ok our ratio of salaries to house prices was significantly better but if they start saving now, like I did at 20 they too should be able to buy by the age of 34.

VickyEadieofThigh · 16/02/2023 12:08

Just here to say that at their ages, combined income of £45k isn't at all bad. They are probably going to be earning significantly more in a few years' time and then be able to buy - if they've been frugal and saved for a deposit.

catmothertes1 · 16/02/2023 12:11

YukoandHiro · 16/02/2023 07:53

They spend money like water because they CAN. When they have to make bills, they will.

Let him go.

Exactly. I fail to see what the problem is. The OP should be proud that they want to get on with their own lives.

VickyEadieofThigh · 16/02/2023 12:11

garlictwist · 16/02/2023 11:35

They are 19 and 21. They are not meant to buy a house at this age and nor should they buy together so early into their lives/relatiosnship. I think you're worrying over nothing. They'll buy a house in their 30s like most people.

Yes!

I bought my first (with partner) tiny, one bedroom flat when I was 28. In 1986.

Nixynic · 16/02/2023 12:12

My husband and I rented flats in London in our twenties (roughly 2000-2010) and paid £1000-1200 a month on a similar joint income. It was enough to live a comfortable life and put some aside each month into savings until we had enough for a deposit to buy a small flat. Many of our couple friends rented a room in a house share, so it was cheaper to rent and they could save more money quicker. We wanted our own flat and so it took us a little longer to save. I’d say that their income/rent is fine for their age and all my friends in similar circumstances have gone on to home ownership in their late twenties or early thirties.

whyhere · 16/02/2023 12:14

I was fortunate (and I'd worked hard!) to own a small house at the stage when my daughter needed to move into her own place (work-related). I sold the house in order to buy two flats - one for me for retirement, and one for her near her work. She now has a small mortgage to pay (c£60k) rather than paying rent. However, she has since married and they need a larger place (current flat really is a shoebox!) - they have to stay in London due to work.

As my retirement flat (I live in tied accommodation at present) has two bedrooms, my plan is to downsize to a one-bedroomed place at the point when they need a deposit, to free up some capital to give them.

Both they, and I, realise just how privileged we are to have options. I really feel for those in a different position: the idea of renting in retirement seems quite scary to me.

beAsensible1 · 16/02/2023 12:16

LadyWithLapdog · 16/02/2023 07:38

That’s a huge rent for a couple starting out. Are you in an expensive area or are these the prices nowadays?

thats pretty cheap tbh

lemonsugarsnap · 16/02/2023 12:17

They can both own the house jointly and get an agreement signed where if they sell the house your DS gets the deposit money back? I don't see the sense in waiting ages if you have the money ready to give him.

Also 45k between them at their ages is pretty good! In even 5 years time they could easily be earning lots more.

WarWhatIsItGoodFor · 16/02/2023 12:19

If they can’t afford rent then they won’t be able to afford a mortgage either. They need to learn how to manage money first and perhaps move to a cheaper area?

ACynicalDad · 16/02/2023 12:21

Maybe they can move out and get the desire to live together, have a home and save and perhaps a year or two down the line they will ask to come and live with you so they can supercharge their savings, it doesn't sound like they are ready to do that right now.

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