Upset watching DD eat toast

[Overwhelmed4]

DD is so amazing. She has the biggest smile on her face from the moment she wakes up til the moment she goes to sleep. The sort of grin that makes her whole face light up.

When I see her like this I feel awful for bringing such a pure, joyful, amazing soul into this dreadful world. I worry so much about what her future will look like.

There are different triggers but the main one is global warming at the moment. I imagine her growing up on a planet that's barely habitable with hardship after hardship.

This morning she was shrieking with excitement at every piece of her toast, brandishing it and giggling as she was eating it. I couldn't stop the tears streaming down my face. I feel so guilty she has no idea what the world is really like.

She is 18 months so I should be out of the hyper hormonal first few months but I seem to feel worse about it every day. It's not all the time at all, but it doesn't take much for it to get triggered.

Can anyone relate or have advice to not feel like this?

The climate is changing, it has always changed, the planet will not become uninhabitable in your DD's lifetime.

I can understand how you feel.
I have DGCs and feel quite depressed when I see how different their lives are from my childhood - mind you there was an atomic bomb threat but it just seemed so far away that no one worried. And there was nothing you could do anyway.
Just make the most of what you have and the beautiful world around you - don't dwell on the bad stuff.

Your dd may be the scientist to find more solutionsfor global warming.

The point of childhood is to be unaware of the big issues and enjoy the small things
We can do that too. Eat toast. Smell roses. See things as she does.
Please seek help . Cbt. Therapy.

Goodness, two people who are in total denial of reality.

I think you need to read the room.

Clearly the OP is going through a hard time and struggling.

You do realise that people can have other issues apart from cost of living or mould?

Your post is unhelpful.

Good advice from posters above about speaking to your Dr, but while you're doing that please try and be in the moment today with your daughter, she sounds a little treasure. Join in the giggles and smiles and make that the focus of your thoughts, not what the world may look like in 10, 20, 30 years.

Do what you can control in terms of sustainability eg reuse and recycling, cut down in driving short journeys, all the stuff we can help make a difference with in setting foundations for the future but try not to stress about the big picture you can't directly control.

You can look up stuff about practicing mindfulness that can help with tips for focusing on the here and now.

I've just enjoyed my own breakfast crumpets much more thoughtfully and cheerfully now - be more DD.🌻

I know how you feel to a degree. I have a sixteen-month old. At the time the war in Ukraine broke out, I was overcome with a huge amount of guilt about bringing a child into the world and I am worried about climate change.

But, among all the bad news on global warming, there is scope for optimism. I started searching for "climate change optimism" on Google. It looks as though we are on track to avoid the worst-case scenario forecasts. There has been tremendous progress in cutting emissions (although we do need to go further). I do recommend seeking out the positive stories, as a counterbalance to the unremitting negative coverage.

As a pp said, you can encourage your daughter to take an interest in science from an early age and be the scientist who helps to combat it.

If you watch a show like Dragons' Den, you can see how the majority of inventions these days are sustainable and aimed at reducing waste. If you compare these clips with those from ten years ago, you can see that there has been a sea-change in attitude towards climate change.

Finally, humans are adaptable. We have always adapted and survived and coped with natural climate change in the past. The odds are still in our favour.

Intrepidescape · Today 09:04
FFS. You clearly have nothing else going on in your life if you’re creating all of this drama!! People can’t afford to heat their homes in winter and are living in poverty with mould growing up the walls. Here you are having a pity party about how perfect your daughter is. Read the room.“

Do you feel better now?

A pity party is a very stupid description of the anxieties of someone who is clearly suffering and needs professional help.

This isn't a normal way to feel OP. I suggest you speak to your GP.

:-O some of the replies on here
you're not ill, you love in uncertain times and it upsets you to think that it's likely your child will have a difficult life if things worsen (as they are!)
I am completely the same.
There's a few things I have done and will keep doing to help me feel more in control.
(ps I made a post very similar to this on mumsnet and was bombarded with you're mentally ill . you're not. someone else suggested this and it worked)

-be as eco friendly as possible, secind hand shop etc.

• have a look for local community gardens or orchards, or start a veg patch, an allotment plot, look into forraging. Anything 'skill based' that should help if food security is compromised (rising food costs / energy cost counts as compromising on food security)

-have a look at local groups- litter picking, planting trees, growing flowers Anything like that. join them if you can, if you can't, just following them on Facebook and knowing there are people making little actions like you are.

-get a water butt, and start collecting rain water.

-start saving jars and get preserving. you can preserve fresh food yourself in oil, salt, vinegar (make yourself with apple cores and water), sugar, its so easy and will stop packaging going to landfill.

-start 'nature watching' and leave out bowls of water for animals (with a stick floating for Bees), leave out kitten food for hedgehogs, look for birds, walk in nature.

It's completely normal and it's even got a name, eco anxiety. lots of young people have it. it's normal for new mothers. Do what you can and it really helps.

Be positive. Do something, anything to make the world better for her, instead of dreading. Burying your head won't change anything, but each person doing whatever small things they can might actually help.

I feel you OP. I was exactly the same after having DD. I watched that new David Attenborough documentary that came out just after I gave birth and that mixed with Covid and then the war in Ukraine, sent me into a complete downward spiral for weeks. I would find myself bursting into tears at nothing. I felt so guilty for bringing DD into this world.
Now, I don't watch the news, don't read about it, try and just stay in the present. Don't stress about things I can't change or influence. Do my best to be eco friendly and just get on with my life and focus on my family and my hobbies.
It might be a good idea to speak to your GP to get some help but know that you are not alone.

If you'd had her in the 40's you'd be crying because she might die in an air raid.

If you'd had her in Victorian England you'd be crying because she'd be off to work in a factory at 9.

If you'd had her in medieval Europe you'd be crying because her chances of surviving into adulthood would be 1/10, and adulthood would likely suck for her even if she made it.

The world has always had shit, often far worse shit than we're dealing with now. And if humans are anything, were incredible at adapting to adversity. And if mum's do anything, we're amazing at worrying about our children for the rest of our natural lives, even while they thrive and flourish.

Why not consider that she might take her beautiful, sunshiny disposition out into the world and make it a better place?

I think it is totally reasonable to be concerned about these issues and their impact on your baby, but probably not for it to dominate your thoughts to such an extent and bring you to tears so easily. I also echo the thoughts of others that a visit to your GP would be a good idea. I worry a lot about these issues too, and find that taking actions like writing to MP, using washable nappies, green energy provider etc helps calm the anxiety. I hope you feel better soon and enjoy watching your little one grow x

It’s not too late to consider that you might have PND. My ds was well over a year old before I finally acknowledged that I needed help and saw the HV/GP. Im not saying you have PND, just don’t rule it out because of the age of your DD.

As other posters have said, try and focus on the positive things you can do and live in the moment with her. I know it’s a lot easier to say than do when you are feeling low and sometimes it requires a lot of conscious effort but it does help.

You sound like me and I suffer from anxiety and OCD. I’d suggest speaking with your GP

I think the way to look at it is that yes your daughters generation will have it harder in some ways, but they will also have it better than we did in many ways.
Now there is greater awareness of things like misogyny and sexism, less homophobia, more understanding around things like mental health, technology and other things that can make life easier, etc etc

Oh OP. I feel so much for you.

You need to see your GP. You don't need to suffer like this.

Some worry and intrusive thoughts are normal and we are all concerned about the planet but it's devouring you and it needn't.

And plus, global warming or no global warming, she ain’t gonna delight in a bit of toast forever! She will grow out of that very quick as is the way with babies so just enjoy whilst it lasts!

Absolutely this..Take joy in the small things.
Maybe OP should watch the news less.

Well, that wasn’t my reading of it- because that’s not what they said, is it?

Thank you all I really appreciate the kindness, understanding and advice!

I also have an older DC who's 5 and although I obviously feel the same for her it has become a little easier as she gets older and doesn't seem as vulnerable and defenseless, so hopefully it will ease as DD2 gets older too. I also think at least she will have had 4 more years of lovely life before it all goes to shits than DD2 :(

I never had any issues with my mental health until I had DC so I relate to PPs who said it messes with your brain. I had quite bad anxiety after DD1 was born, slightly less bad anxiety after DD2.

But it used to be anxiety about trivial things that I catastrophised, which I could work through with CBT, not this existential stuff. And it used to be anxiety symptoms like heart racing, pressure on my chest.... the tearfullness/sadness is something new.

I'm making a conscious effort to enjoy them today and will definitely look into ways to take action in small ways, hopefully it will make me feel more in control.

It does seem like intrusive thoughts, I literally sit here sometimes and can vividly picture her having no access to drinking water as the planet will have dried out, or her house going up in flames from the heat of the sun. A few months ago, I couldn't bear looking at her all peaceful in her cot as I imagined we were just weeks ago from having to hide in a dark basement listening to bombs as the Ukraine war would have escalated, and her sleeping on a cold floor in wet dirty rags surrounded by rats or something. Horrible horrible thoughts.

Exactly, I am really sad that I can't just enjoy it.

And yes to PPs who said I need to avoid the news, as clearly I can't handle them at the moment. I should also stay away from social media as today's episode was triggered by a MN thread I saw last night of someone saying they were terrified about next summer. It reminded me how anxious the heat made me last summer and that I am terrified about global warming too. I felt my chest physically tighten as I was reading it, and have been on high alert since.

But then this thread has been so lovely so I can't cut social media all together!

You poor thing you sound so overwhelmed 😢