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Its time people realise

88 replies

MarceMarceMarce2020 · 08/02/2023 09:30

It is beautiful being a mum, I have a two-year-old son that just makes me live for every day that comes. I am 36 years old and soon to be 37, a first-time mum, and new to everything, my friends have children and asked me if I would have any more??? I said no! Why?? because it is a rise in of cost living and I can just get by now as you can imagine. So my partner's sister-in-law has 5 children 3 from previous partners and 2 from a current partner who is my partner's older brother now they have been trying for a baby to find she is finally pregnant ok congratulations but this a mother that has never done a days job in her life and the baby dad is 41 and can't hold a job down and forever asking to borrow money and don't pay back and the pair of them keyboard warriors their home is just a mess and smells of wee... why bring a baby into the world if you can't afford to live yourself then how you going survive with a newborn, especially in this day and age

OP posts:
WaddleAway · 08/02/2023 15:00

Andypandy799 · 08/02/2023 14:57

Well In an ideal world people wouldn’t be able to have kids until they passed an exam and proved they had the means to care for them financially and emotionally 😂

Why should tax payers pay for other peoples mistakes or offspring?

Agreed. But once the children are here, and exist, and need housing, what is the solution? Again, should those children be punished (ie left homeless) because their parents are irresponsible?

Andypandy799 · 08/02/2023 15:02

WaddleAway · 08/02/2023 15:00

Agreed. But once the children are here, and exist, and need housing, what is the solution? Again, should those children be punished (ie left homeless) because their parents are irresponsible?

Well In other countries it’s normal for very large families to live in cramped and overcrowded houses. Take a look at the housing in Indonesia

They shouldn’t have a right to anything just because they have children.

WaddleAway · 08/02/2023 15:05

Andypandy799 · 08/02/2023 15:02

Well In other countries it’s normal for very large families to live in cramped and overcrowded houses. Take a look at the housing in Indonesia

They shouldn’t have a right to anything just because they have children.

Ok, so you’d be happy for children (who haven’t done anything wrong in this scenario and have no control over the situation) to live in inadequate, overcrowded housing because their parents are irresponsible? Just so we’re clear?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Iwantabloodypizza · 08/02/2023 15:17

Andypandy799 · 08/02/2023 15:02

Well In other countries it’s normal for very large families to live in cramped and overcrowded houses. Take a look at the housing in Indonesia

They shouldn’t have a right to anything just because they have children.

Yes, let’s let children live in cramped environments where they have nowhere to play, study, sleep safely etc etc. Let them live in overcrowded houses with mould and dirt.

That’ll show ‘em.

Iwantabloodypizza · 08/02/2023 15:23

And for what’s it’s worth, I have the misfortune to live in an absolute shitpit of a place surrounded by people that would make you shudder.

But you can’t take it out on their children.

Andypandy799 · 08/02/2023 15:28

@Iwantabloodypizza & @WaddleAway are you saying people in India and Indonesia are unhappy? Watch Guy Martin visit India and he says he cant believe how happy people are and he feels guilty for wanting a bigger shed.

Capitalism has a lot to answer for in this country and everyone self entitled attitude

Iwantabloodypizza · 08/02/2023 15:38

Andypandy799 · 08/02/2023 15:28

@Iwantabloodypizza & @WaddleAway are you saying people in India and Indonesia are unhappy? Watch Guy Martin visit India and he says he cant believe how happy people are and he feels guilty for wanting a bigger shed.

Capitalism has a lot to answer for in this country and everyone self entitled attitude

This isn’t Indonesia.

Children do live in cramped housing in the U.K. Housing that is wildly unsuitable for families. Children die from mould infestations. Whole families live in Travelodge rooms for years as there is no social housing is available and landlords won’t rent to private tenants in receipt of top up benefits - I’ve been there and yes, I worked full time as many people who claim benefits do.

I didn’t want to end up in a hotel when my landlord sold up and no one would rent to us, despite working full time - which is why we made the difficult decision to move across the country and ended up here.

And that’s quite a sweeping statement you’ve made from watching at TV show. I am half Indian. Not everyone is happy.

Carlycat · 08/02/2023 15:44

Is your SIL Vickie Pollard? Grin

Its time people realise
Andypandy799 · 08/02/2023 15:47

Your right to have children does not necessarily give you a right to state aid. Only in this country do we have such a generous social security system, which by the way is abused by millions but I’ll get shot down in flames if I get started on benefits.

Anyhoo I agree with @MarceMarceMarce2020 Thanks for your opinion we will have to agree to disagree I’m afraid.

Andypandy799 · 08/02/2023 15:47

Carlycat · 08/02/2023 15:44

Is your SIL Vickie Pollard? Grin

🤣

WaddleAway · 08/02/2023 15:48

Andypandy799 · 08/02/2023 15:28

@Iwantabloodypizza & @WaddleAway are you saying people in India and Indonesia are unhappy? Watch Guy Martin visit India and he says he cant believe how happy people are and he feels guilty for wanting a bigger shed.

Capitalism has a lot to answer for in this country and everyone self entitled attitude

I’m not saying they’re either happy or unhappy. Their happiness (or otherwise) will be dependent on a variety of factors. Some will be happy, some unhappy, most somewhere in the middle.
Entirely irrelevant to the situation here, however. Would you like your children to live in overcrowded, unsuitable houses? If not, why not, if apparently it’s the key to happiness?
Children need to be housed suitably.

Andypandy799 · 08/02/2023 15:55

WaddleAway · 08/02/2023 15:48

I’m not saying they’re either happy or unhappy. Their happiness (or otherwise) will be dependent on a variety of factors. Some will be happy, some unhappy, most somewhere in the middle.
Entirely irrelevant to the situation here, however. Would you like your children to live in overcrowded, unsuitable houses? If not, why not, if apparently it’s the key to happiness?
Children need to be housed suitably.

I have only had two children and can comfortably afford to provide food, shelter and anything else they need without any state assistance. I didn’t have children until I was in a position to do so. This was a conscious decision as I hate people living on benefits.

Andypandy799 · 08/02/2023 15:56

@WaddleAway I won’t comment any further on this as I don’t want to upset those hard working families who do need a little bit of help and work full time.

MarceMarceMarce2020 · 08/02/2023 16:04

@LadyKenya it is true, no one is perfect

OP posts:
WaddleAway · 08/02/2023 16:08

Andypandy799 · 08/02/2023 15:55

I have only had two children and can comfortably afford to provide food, shelter and anything else they need without any state assistance. I didn’t have children until I was in a position to do so. This was a conscious decision as I hate people living on benefits.

And I can afford my children without state assistance too. I absolutely don’t begrudge my taxes going towards housing children who otherwise would be housed unsuitably, however. When people talk about adults not being ‘rewarded’ for having children they can’t afford, inevitably that means they’re happy for the children to be punished for the parents’ mistakes.

MarceMarceMarce2020 · 08/02/2023 16:09

and i bet your a benefit cheat

OP posts:
Iwantabloodypizza · 08/02/2023 16:16

Andypandy799 · 08/02/2023 15:56

@WaddleAway I won’t comment any further on this as I don’t want to upset those hard working families who do need a little bit of help and work full time.

And there are a lot of us. That’s what people forget.

We lived and worked in London. “Good” jobs, but one for a local authority and one in healthcare. So wages not great. Rents are so, so high. We had to have a small amount of top up benefits (it was housing benefit then, UC hadn’t been rolled out in our area yet when we left) or we couldn’t afford a place to live. And it’s not a case of renting a tiny place and cramming in.

Unless you find and unscrupulous slum landlord who will pack people in for mone, no one legitimate will over crowd a house, for insurance reasons among others. We can’t compare ourselves to other counties who have different laws.

People will tell you to move somewhere you can afford. Believe me, it’s not easy. We only managed it as PIL lent us the deposit and dh job went fully remote. We weren’t going to leave our jobs, move to a deprived area which were the only places we could afford where there were no jobs - that would have been ridiculous. But here we are, thanks to dh still having the same job, claiming no benefits and we even managed to buy a house. But this is a cheap area for a reason.

What I am trying to say is, people hear the word benefits and immediately jump to the wrong conclusions. We were treated like the scum of the earth by estate agents when we were renting, despite having professional, just not well paying jobs.

Now I am not saying those stereotypes don’t exist - where I live now was a complete culture shock from how I’d always lived. There are absolute scumbags around. I am surrounded by them and it’s not nice.

But their children can’t be punished for it.

Elliania · 08/02/2023 16:18

How about you mind your own businessOP. If they're not asking you for money or babysitting then it's got nothing to do with you. Also stop being judgemental about people.

BreviloquentBastard · 08/02/2023 16:20

Fupoffyagrasshole · 08/02/2023 10:45

Before I had my daughter my husband & I were all over the place - terrible at saving, partying all the time, wasting weekends in bed cus we were so hungover all the time - I was unmotivated at work - etc etc

Since she was born we are different - we both have progressed at work - i'm somehow managing a full time job, parenting and doing a college course at the same time,

We never waste weekends anymore

We saved up to buy our flat - travel etc

Maybe they'll sort their shit out once the baby is here

Yeah absolutely, sixth times the charm right?

reddingweddy · 08/02/2023 16:22

......
Have some full stops, you seem to have run out.

BitOutOfPractice · 08/02/2023 16:23

MarceMarceMarce2020 · 08/02/2023 16:09

and i bet your a benefit cheat

Well that turned quickly didn't it?

What are you hoping for from this thread OP? Validation?

Addymontgomeryfan · 08/02/2023 16:28

Maybe offer them support and advice and not judgement.

Riapia · 08/02/2023 16:35

You may believe that you’re being wise just having one OP.
you’re going to be paying towards the upkeep of their kids.
The jokes on you.
😁😁

sunshinenroses · 08/02/2023 17:31

Having an extra child is not worth the £250ish you get from the government each month😂maybe for an extra 10 grand pm id do it 😂

IClaudine · 08/02/2023 17:34

eurochick · 08/02/2023 12:30

It's like one of those AI chat bit things with a loose connection.

🤣🤣🤣