If you inlaws live 5 hours away, how often do you see them?

[sanityplease]

Name changing in case I want to show my husband this thread...

We have ongoing issues with MIL complaining that we don't see them enough. It puts a strain on our relationship as I am becoming increasingly sick of the complaints, and feel we do as much as we can, but my husband feels guilty (and takes it out on me!).

So, if your in-laws live 5 hours or more away, how regularly do you see them?

We have 3 young children, including a newborn - and I don't feel it's realistic for us to be travelling to them very often (we do about twice a year at the moment). They are more than welcome to visit us (and they do). But nothing is ever enough, and I know MIL calls my husband complaining about it, a lot.

Mine are a 4 away drive away and have met almost 2 year old DD 4 times

Same here

When my Mum was alive, we'd go up every 6 weeks or so (5-6 hr journey). BUT she was disabled and lived alone, and DH's parents lived a couple of miles from her, so could do 2 in 1. That was over about 15 yrs.

Now she's gone, it's reduced. DH isn't as close to his parents, plus we all have to squeeze in with my (lovely) SiL, despite in laws having a 6 bedroom house...

I'm also reducing the frequency I go up. DH is taking the kids this weekend, I'm staying here to do things round the house.

2 or 3 times a year and they came to us once a year. We didn't go at all whilst the DC were very small (under about 5-6 months) as it isn't good for them to be in car seats for so long.

4 hour drive to my Mum's. We go up every few months so usually about 5 times a year. They haven't been here for years.
Interesting that it does seem to be the case that if you move away, your parents and relatives you left behind, see it as your duty to make the trip back

Three times a year plus often a 4th for wedding/significant birthday etc.

That usually includes a week in the summer (it’s a touristy part of the U.K.), a couple of days around Christmas, and a few days in Easter or May.

5 hours in theory but sometimes it’s 8 hours.

We have to stay in a hotel/ caravan/ holiday cottage so this costs a lot. It takes up a lot of our annual leave too. But FIL was elderly and frail so I didn’t want DH to miss out on seeing him. FIL died last year and I hope we will have fewer visits. It’s rare that anyone visits us, usually only if there is another reason (such as us proving airport parking).

It was the expectation that used to bug me - “Are you coming up at Easter?” - they used to say when we left at Christmas. They never had the same expectations for child-free BIL who also lives ‘away’, he’d go once a year if that.

Their expectations have calmed down now our DC aren’t small and cute anymore, and DH’s niece has cuter and smaller DC.

Around 3 times a year as we are tied to school hols now.

It used to be more when dd was younger and MiL looked after her a couple of half terms a year. Not feasible now. Shame as it was lovely for both of them.

MiL used to come up when she had more mobility. Was lovely, we'd do lots of trips out and spoil her. And she'd come up so we could have the odd weekend away without dd.

I wish we could see her more frequently. She's lovely. But it's too far for a weekend.

Also miss the childcare - I spent my 50th away with friends and lovely as it was it would have been even better if dp could have come.

It’s my parents and I visit twice a year on average and they come here more, probs about 6 times a year

I would have thought every couple of months is reasonable. Also depends on whether you can both drive and thus only 2.5 hour each and whether the train/ flying is an option

I last saw mil at fil funeral 2 years ago. Not planning on seeing her any time soon. Husband goes to see her every2 months.