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I made myself look awful

109 replies

Octon · 06/02/2023 21:05

I’m new to MN so I hope I’m putting this in the right section. I just wanted to ask what people think I should have done in a situation I found myself in the other day. I was at the airport waiting for a flight and my DD aged 2 was running around a bit, with me following right behind. I have a leg injury at the moment and sometimes find it difficult to keep up with her, but I was only a couple of feet away at all times. I was keeping as close behind her as possible and calling out ‘careful, careful’ when she looked like she was going to trip over or run into other people. I wanted to make sure she didn’t run into the path of other passengers walking by as it’s dangerous for her and probably annoying for them. I had called at her to be careful a couple of times when she was running towards walking people. At one point she was running at a right angle to a man walking along quite quickly. I followed her, saying ‘careful, careful’ as I went (she was ignoring me and running quite fast towards this person). She didn’t collide with the person, but he looked at me and called me a bigot and carried on walking. He was a gentleman of colour and I suddenly realised that he thought I was telling my child to be careful for racist reasons. This was absolutely not the case and I feel absolutely mortified that it looked this way. What should I have done to try and rectify the situation? Is there anything? As it was, I panicked and did nothing. I nearly went after him to try and explain but I bottled it as I’m scared of confrontation. I’ve definitely learnt to be more aware in future.

OP posts:
Bonbon21 · 06/02/2023 21:13

I know this wont go down well on MN...but have you heard of walking reins.
Might be worth a thought.. y'know... leg injury, active 2 year old, crowded places... everybody staying safe and calm
??

JennyDarlingRIP · 06/02/2023 21:16

It's quite a leap from a mum telling a running toddler to be careful, to someone interpreting that as a racist insult. I understand that will be closed by his lived experience. I don't think you can feel awful about it though.
I went for a walk yesterday along the coast path and DS was on his scooter (it's very wide) but if we were coming towards people I'd call DS be careful and he'd stop and wait or move right to one side.

Tamarindtree · 06/02/2023 21:17

Reins. Then you can make sure your child is safe and not causing a nuisance to other people.

FourAndTwentyBlackbirdsBakedInAPie · 06/02/2023 21:18

I agree, reins would have been so much better, it sounds dangerous and annoying to have a small kid running around a busy airport with a parent who can't keep up.

As much as we love them, not everyone finds our kids as cute and endearing as we do.

As for the guy, what you said wasn't bigoted at all, it would be a strange conclusion to jump to so I can only guess you've said something that could be construed as bigoted and forgotten, or he has misheard what you've said. People in a rush with a kid getting under their feet usually snap at you to keep your kid under control rather than call you a bigot.

Octon · 06/02/2023 21:52

Thank you for your replies. I’ll look at getting some reins.

OP posts:
VladmirsPoutine · 06/02/2023 21:55

You were being unreasonable to let your child run so freely in an airport. The man is neither here nor there - an odd thing if he assumed you were warning your child of his presence because of his colour.

LovelyDayz · 06/02/2023 21:59

You should have been holding her hand and keeping her safe and out of people's way. Careful careful is totally useless.

ShirleyPhallus · 06/02/2023 22:00

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Nurse2022 · 06/02/2023 22:01

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NeedAHoliday2021 · 06/02/2023 22:06

Got it, you’re not racist just a passive parent. Yeah, I doubt most 2 year olds would listen or have a clue what you mean by “be careful”.

RedLorryYellaLorry · 06/02/2023 22:07

Are you absolutely certain he said "bigot" and not "idiot" or something else similar sounding?

As pp's have said, get reins for these kinds of trips. Having a toddler running about in an airport does sound both dangerous and annoying

dudsville · 06/02/2023 22:07

I agree that your assumption is a leap. His comment is hard to interpret, you may have misheard him.

I sympathise with parents wanting to tire out their young ones out before a flight, but saying "careful, careful" is pointless. Walking holding hands or the reins or whatever is a better option.

MargaritMargo · 06/02/2023 22:07

I really insulted someone with a disability in a busy shop once, it was completely unintentional and was similar to you in that they misheard something I said (which wasn’t in any way offensive to start with) and in the context they took it they were quite sharp with me and essentially told me I was ableist etc.
I was absolutely mortified and so upset with myself, it was a complete misunderstanding.

There’s not really anything you can do but cut yourself a bit of slack, it is embarrassing but also mistakes happen, people get the wrong end of the stick and things get misheard etc. You know you absolutely did not say anything racist and although it would have been upsetting for the guy (because he thinks you did), there’s nothing you can do now!

I feel your pain, it’s an awful feeling to have upset someone completely by accident

Switchwitch · 06/02/2023 22:08

If your dd is anything like my DS then good luck with the reins but chances are she'll just grab the 'lead' and run off anyway or have a huge meltdown because I WANT TO HOLD IT!!

Kudos to all the parents who have sensible rein-wearing children

xJoy · 06/02/2023 22:11

he was probably annoyed there was a wild toddler running amok

clpsmum · 06/02/2023 22:20

LovelyDayz · 06/02/2023 21:59

You should have been holding her hand and keeping her safe and out of people's way. Careful careful is totally useless.

This. Both you and your daughter would've passed me off. Hold her hand, put her in a buggy or use reins

ShimmeringShirts · 06/02/2023 22:21

You didn’t make yourself look awful, he made himself look a twit. You did nothing wrong here OP, but I’d suggest reigns as others have said for busy spaces such as airports.

iminvestednow · 06/02/2023 22:21

Letting her run wild while shouting ‘be careful’ is a bit rubbish, you’re in a busy place, for her safety and those around you she needs to hold your hand.

Pinkflipflop85 · 06/02/2023 22:25

I reckon he called you an idiot.

Like many people would in that situation.

FenghuangHoyan · 06/02/2023 22:26

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It's lucky you were there to tell us what really happened...

Calling someone a liar when you've absolutely no evidence to back up your claim is out of order.

SparkleBrows · 06/02/2023 22:29

I also don't understand why you'd have been "chasing" her and shouting careful for so long.

The racism thing is just a misunderstanding and nothing to lose sleep over.

OneFrenchEgg · 06/02/2023 22:32

Get one of those kid backpack reins things and be done with it. Like a pp I think he said idiot to be honest (I'd have said the same, cannot stand little kids crashing around when I'm busy with luggage or bags or in a hurry).

watsthecraic · 06/02/2023 22:32

I would have been annoyed with a 2 year old being allowed to do all that running around. It's dangerous.

VladmirsPoutine · 06/02/2023 22:32

This is the first time I've ever come across the phrase "gentleman of colour" - a very bizarre turn of phrase.

Changemaname1 · 06/02/2023 22:35

If this happened then I feel bad that the guy interpreted it as that but don’t beat yourself
up about it

but the running behind running toddler thing arghhh I hate this in busy places such a lack of awareness on the parents part sorry op it’s annoying as hell and not cute or anything else some parents seem to think . Reins or pick them up

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