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Original poster

I made myself look awful

109 replies

Octon · 06/02/2023 21:05

I’m new to MN so I hope I’m putting this in the right section. I just wanted to ask what people think I should have done in a situation I found myself in the other day. I was at the airport waiting for a flight and my DD aged 2 was running around a bit, with me following right behind. I have a leg injury at the moment and sometimes find it difficult to keep up with her, but I was only a couple of feet away at all times. I was keeping as close behind her as possible and calling out ‘careful, careful’ when she looked like she was going to trip over or run into other people. I wanted to make sure she didn’t run into the path of other passengers walking by as it’s dangerous for her and probably annoying for them. I had called at her to be careful a couple of times when she was running towards walking people. At one point she was running at a right angle to a man walking along quite quickly. I followed her, saying ‘careful, careful’ as I went (she was ignoring me and running quite fast towards this person). She didn’t collide with the person, but he looked at me and called me a bigot and carried on walking. He was a gentleman of colour and I suddenly realised that he thought I was telling my child to be careful for racist reasons. This was absolutely not the case and I feel absolutely mortified that it looked this way. What should I have done to try and rectify the situation? Is there anything? As it was, I panicked and did nothing. I nearly went after him to try and explain but I bottled it as I’m scared of confrontation. I’ve definitely learnt to be more aware in future.

OP posts:
Eskimokid · 06/02/2023 22:37

I have a 2 year old and there isn't a chance I'd let him be loose in an airport without reins or a pushchair. And I don't have a leg injury.

I think being called a bigot as a misunderstanding should be the least of your concerns in that situation!

goingtotown · 06/02/2023 22:38

Airports are not playgrounds.

007DoubleOSeven · 06/02/2023 22:41

Switchwitch · 06/02/2023 22:08

If your dd is anything like my DS then good luck with the reins but chances are she'll just grab the 'lead' and run off anyway or have a huge meltdown because I WANT TO HOLD IT!!

Kudos to all the parents who have sensible rein-wearing children

My dog does this 😄

CakeIsNotAvailable · 06/02/2023 22:43

When my kids were younger, we used reins in airports, until one day a woman came over and gave us a mouthful of abuse because she felt reins were "cruel". Some people get very weird about reins.

PutinSmellsPassItOn · 06/02/2023 22:58

He sounds like a dickhead......stop worrying about him. And get the kids some reins, your life will be so much easier.

Reinventinganna · 06/02/2023 23:02

Do you remember the scene in Charlie and chocolate factory when Mrs Gloop asked Willy wonka to do something when Augustus was drinking from (and then fell into) the chocolate river?
That’s how I imagine you calling your child.

rubberduckiee · 06/02/2023 23:05

I'm sure this happened 😂

Fordian · 06/02/2023 23:10

VladmirsPoutine · 06/02/2023 22:32

This is the first time I've ever come across the phrase "gentleman of colour" - a very bizarre turn of phrase.

To be fair, the currently correct term for -um- 'not white' people has undergone enormous change, especially over the past 20-30 years.

It's been 'black', it's been 'coloured', it's been 'of colour', it's beennon-white', it's been 'of different ethnicity'. Abs there are black people who refer to themselves, between themselves as the N word.

So please don't jump on that. I work with a lot of Nigerians, Jamaicans and Indians. I wouldn't have a clue how to refer to them, though they can, and do, without offence, call me white. (You'll ask me to ask them what they'd like to be referred to as. I wouldn't dare, and I expect I would get several different answers!)

BertaHoon · 06/02/2023 23:12

VladmirsPoutine · 06/02/2023 22:32

This is the first time I've ever come across the phrase "gentleman of colour" - a very bizarre turn of phrase.

What colour was he do you think? You see all sorts at airports. Green, blue - red especially at arrivals!

OP you were in the wrong. I don't why you assumed this man thought you were being racist. I can think like others said that you misheard.

I nearly missed my flight with my 14 year old due to a toddler at security checks whilst her Mum tutted at me trying to get my things in the tray with a 2 year old trying to get on the conveyor belt underneath me.

We proceeded to run like I have never run before - dodging people, families, kids...
It's not really a place for a 2 year old to wander.

That aside, I still don't understand why you leapt to the racist conclusion. I'm sure idiot was more appropriate than bigot. Or maybe he said no problem and went on his day.

BertaHoon · 06/02/2023 23:15

Fordian · 06/02/2023 23:10

To be fair, the currently correct term for -um- 'not white' people has undergone enormous change, especially over the past 20-30 years.

It's been 'black', it's been 'coloured', it's been 'of colour', it's beennon-white', it's been 'of different ethnicity'. Abs there are black people who refer to themselves, between themselves as the N word.

So please don't jump on that. I work with a lot of Nigerians, Jamaicans and Indians. I wouldn't have a clue how to refer to them, though they can, and do, without offence, call me white. (You'll ask me to ask them what they'd like to be referred to as. I wouldn't dare, and I expect I would get several different answers!)

Show quote history

Well refer to them by their name. You clearly know them well enough to know of their origin. Here's Bob from accounts (or wherever).

Freeme31 · 06/02/2023 23:19

Get some teens you & your child sound very annoying - glad I wasn't in the airport with you

Reinventinganna · 06/02/2023 23:19

Fordian · 06/02/2023 23:10

To be fair, the currently correct term for -um- 'not white' people has undergone enormous change, especially over the past 20-30 years.

It's been 'black', it's been 'coloured', it's been 'of colour', it's beennon-white', it's been 'of different ethnicity'. Abs there are black people who refer to themselves, between themselves as the N word.

So please don't jump on that. I work with a lot of Nigerians, Jamaicans and Indians. I wouldn't have a clue how to refer to them, though they can, and do, without offence, call me white. (You'll ask me to ask them what they'd like to be referred to as. I wouldn't dare, and I expect I would get several different answers!)

Show quote history

Call ‘them’ people?!

QuizzlyBears · 06/02/2023 23:19

Pinkflipflop85 · 06/02/2023 22:25

I reckon he called you an idiot.

Like many people would in that situation.

This. I would have done too, had I come across you letting your toddler run amok in a crowded airport.

Freeme31 · 06/02/2023 23:19

Reins*

Freeme31 · 06/02/2023 23:20

This

Pinkflipflop85
I reckon he called you an idiot.

Like many people would in that situation.

This. I would have done too, had I come across you letting your toddler run amok in a crowded airport.

VeganFromSveden · 06/02/2023 23:39

Reins really are the best idea in most situations.
aside from not annoying other folk… I would hate to accidentally hurt a child that was uncontrolled, it would also help take any anxiety down, as you’d know exactly where you child was.
it also would protect your child from being “taken”.
how often do I see a parent(s) walking and chatting (in other words distracted) ahead of the toddler/youngster….. it’s horrifying to realise how much these unattended children are vulnerable to someone with Ill intent.
I also used reins, as when you’re holding a child’s hand, the height difference between the two of you can result in a dislocated should on the child. I’ve witnessed this, and it’s so upsetting for both parties, coz hopefully you’d feel awful at (unintentionally) dislocating his/her shoulder.
I cannot see a reason not to use reins.
you would also teach the child do’s and don’ts of being out in public, so when it comes to the point when the child, or you feels like they are able to behave as needed without the reins, they can then be removed.
This is my experience anyway, and I am aware there may be cases where reins could cause more concern than relief.

Lalliella · 07/02/2023 00:16

Don’t let your child run around in an airport. Try parenting her perhaps.

itsnote · 07/02/2023 00:22

He said "idiot"

allthelittlelights · 07/02/2023 00:33

I've been given dirty looks and 'told off' for putting reins on my toddler too!

MakingTheVeganYorkshirePud · 07/02/2023 00:46

Eh? Are you sure he didn't voice idiot? How do you get to bigot by saying, 'careful, careful'?

Frezia · 07/02/2023 00:59

Whether he said bigot or idiot, either way it's rude and nasty of him. Even if your child accidentally bumped into him, to call you an idiot for it would be a massive overreaction. Especially as I imagine you would've apologised. Nothing happened anyway. The man was unpleasant - don't concern yourself over it.

BigCheeseSandwich · 07/02/2023 01:17

An airport is one of the worst places for an out of control toddler to roam. Everyone’s in a hurry, looking up at signs and departure screens and not where they’re walking, and there are bags being hefted all over the place. Another vote for reins.

Summerfun54321 · 07/02/2023 01:19

Don't worry about it seriously. It takes a certain kind of person to name call a mother and child in public even if they are in the way , he isn't worth wasting energy on.

jtaeapa · 07/02/2023 01:33

As people have said, reins are great. I used them a lot with my eldest. There are no negative effects - apart from a few idiots saying your child is on a lead. To which you can respond: better that than dead.

anyway, as you know, having a 2yo running in an airport is a no no that really pisses people off.

regarding the man calling you a bigot - well he just sounds like a lunatic. I wouldn’t have engaged with him. I certainly wouldn’t have chased after him. You don’t owe explanations to idiots who call you names for no reason.

unsync · 07/02/2023 02:09

If only you were the only parent failing to control their child in a public space. Such a lot of poor parenting visible in airports, railway stations etc. Why did you think it was acceptable to allow this?

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