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Original poster

I made myself look awful

109 replies

Octon · 06/02/2023 21:05

I’m new to MN so I hope I’m putting this in the right section. I just wanted to ask what people think I should have done in a situation I found myself in the other day. I was at the airport waiting for a flight and my DD aged 2 was running around a bit, with me following right behind. I have a leg injury at the moment and sometimes find it difficult to keep up with her, but I was only a couple of feet away at all times. I was keeping as close behind her as possible and calling out ‘careful, careful’ when she looked like she was going to trip over or run into other people. I wanted to make sure she didn’t run into the path of other passengers walking by as it’s dangerous for her and probably annoying for them. I had called at her to be careful a couple of times when she was running towards walking people. At one point she was running at a right angle to a man walking along quite quickly. I followed her, saying ‘careful, careful’ as I went (she was ignoring me and running quite fast towards this person). She didn’t collide with the person, but he looked at me and called me a bigot and carried on walking. He was a gentleman of colour and I suddenly realised that he thought I was telling my child to be careful for racist reasons. This was absolutely not the case and I feel absolutely mortified that it looked this way. What should I have done to try and rectify the situation? Is there anything? As it was, I panicked and did nothing. I nearly went after him to try and explain but I bottled it as I’m scared of confrontation. I’ve definitely learnt to be more aware in future.

OP posts:
TheFrendo · 07/02/2023 07:14

You encountered a racist who was keen take offence where none was given. You have nothing to rectify.

Singleandproud · 07/02/2023 07:17

'Careful' to a toddler means literally nothing it's far too vague. "Walking feet" is better. The only time it would be OK to let your toddler run off some steam in a place like that is if it's completely empty AND you can keep up.

Get a backpack with a rein attached children tend to like them better and don't hang of them like they do normal reins.

BumpyaDaisyevna · 07/02/2023 07:17

Octon · 06/02/2023 21:05

I’m new to MN so I hope I’m putting this in the right section. I just wanted to ask what people think I should have done in a situation I found myself in the other day. I was at the airport waiting for a flight and my DD aged 2 was running around a bit, with me following right behind. I have a leg injury at the moment and sometimes find it difficult to keep up with her, but I was only a couple of feet away at all times. I was keeping as close behind her as possible and calling out ‘careful, careful’ when she looked like she was going to trip over or run into other people. I wanted to make sure she didn’t run into the path of other passengers walking by as it’s dangerous for her and probably annoying for them. I had called at her to be careful a couple of times when she was running towards walking people. At one point she was running at a right angle to a man walking along quite quickly. I followed her, saying ‘careful, careful’ as I went (she was ignoring me and running quite fast towards this person). She didn’t collide with the person, but he looked at me and called me a bigot and carried on walking. He was a gentleman of colour and I suddenly realised that he thought I was telling my child to be careful for racist reasons. This was absolutely not the case and I feel absolutely mortified that it looked this way. What should I have done to try and rectify the situation? Is there anything? As it was, I panicked and did nothing. I nearly went after him to try and explain but I bottled it as I’m scared of confrontation. I’ve definitely learnt to be more aware in future.

You can't go around being terrified that someone is going to think you're being racist when you're just keeping an eye on your child.

The man was being ridiculous and aggressive. Why say something like to to a woman minding her toddler.

I wouldn't give it a further thought tbh.

RTHJ14 · 07/02/2023 07:18

get a Littlelife backpack for your toddler. It’s an animal themed soft backpack they wear on their back with a longish handle. Very cute. Little life

GCAcademic · 07/02/2023 07:21

New to Mumsnet.

Oversensitive, aggressive person of colour who sees racism everywhere.

Hmmm.

StickofVeg · 07/02/2023 07:21

As PP have said saying "careful" to a small child whilst not holding their hand or having better control of them is not going to be effective.

However, if he read something into what you said that you didn't mean then I personally wouldn't worry. Some people jump to the wrong conclusions about anything so I'd forget it and move on.

namechangeforthisbleep · 07/02/2023 07:23

I'm of colour and I'm so sick of people jumping to these conclusions and making us all look mental! He could simply have asked what you meant! Fuck him, you know you didn't do anything wrong. Don't spend your life worrying about what others think of you (unless you really do something wrong)

Sunriseinwonderland · 07/02/2023 07:25

Why wasn't she on reins for gods sake. It sounds chaotic.

bumpytrumpy · 07/02/2023 07:27

Switchwitch · 06/02/2023 22:08

If your dd is anything like my DS then good luck with the reins but chances are she'll just grab the 'lead' and run off anyway or have a huge meltdown because I WANT TO HOLD IT!!

Kudos to all the parents who have sensible rein-wearing children

Kudos to the parents who,..... parent?

HaveYouSeenNancy · 07/02/2023 07:31

He was rude, so I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.

BellePeppa · 07/02/2023 07:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Well I do find it hard to believe that someone with an injured leg would let their two year old run around a busy airport. Apart from being a nuisance it would be incredibly easy to lose them among the people coming and going.

Benjispruce4 · 07/02/2023 07:36

Seems a bit of an unlikely thing for him to say. Could you have misheard?
You need to have your toddler in a buggy or holding your hand or reins. You are supposed to be in charge.

Relaxingtime · 07/02/2023 07:37

We never please everyone and who knows how their or where their interpretation stands.
Some people one thing is acceptable and never acceptable enough, will always be a matter of opinion.
Reigns, maybe will help or maybe not?
Hang in there.

ImTheOnlyUpsyOne · 07/02/2023 07:38

If he indeed, did say bigot, we have to assume he really did believe you were warning your daughter not to get too close to him. In an airport I suppose you have no idea Where's he been travelling to/from and what attitudes he's encountered. He also wouldn't have witnessed you telling your daughter to be careful of everyone else so perhaps due to his own past experiences he jumped to that conclusion.

Celticdawn5 · 07/02/2023 07:39

I use Hobbledehoo reins with my 2.5 yr old grandson . Absolutely the best thing ever. I am just not fast enough now to catch him should he run off.

redskydelight · 07/02/2023 07:40

BMrs · 07/02/2023 06:30

You did absolutely nothing wrong OP

Apart from letting her child run round the airport without being properly supervised?
It's not helping OP to tell he what she did is fine.

WalkAwaySugarbear · 07/02/2023 07:40

Be careful is an absolutely useless command to a toddler. What does that even mean? Run about near other people but be careful? Of what?
Come here, hold my hand, sit still would have been more useful.
Racist is suspect, no. Ineffective parenting, yes.

MrsPatrickDempsey · 07/02/2023 07:44

You state that you kept saying 'careful careful' to your child. Sorry to be picky but that's a bit sloppy and unspecific isn't it? I don't think a young child would really understand what you really mean?
I think the language we use is really important.
She wasn't going to respond to that was she?

MrsPatrickDempsey · 07/02/2023 07:45

@WalkAwaySugarbear

We wrote the same thing at the same time!

itsabigtree · 07/02/2023 07:50

I wouldn't have thought most two year olds would be ok with wearing reigns? But that's just based on the toddlers I know. A push chair tho is pretty essential for the airport though. And obviously you wernt being racist so don't worry about that.

LakieLady · 07/02/2023 07:50

Another vote for reins or buggy, but I may be prejudiced: I fell over in Tesco years ago, when an uncontrolled toddler charged out of an aisle straight into my path.

I reallu hurt my knee and it's never really been the same since then.

Mookie81 · 07/02/2023 08:01

Personally I'm dubious of someone who calls people 'gentlemen of colour'. It's not harsh to use the right term. He blatantly said idiot.
Hold on to your kid.

diamondpony80 · 07/02/2023 08:01

Having travelled a lot with our kids when they were younger I can’t even imagine letting a 2 year old run around like that at a busy airport. We either held their hands or they got strapped into the buggy. I don’t think I’ve ever met a 2 year old either who understood or cared if their parent ran around after them shouting “careful, careful”.

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 07/02/2023 08:02

GCAcademic · 07/02/2023 07:21

New to Mumsnet.

Oversensitive, aggressive person of colour who sees racism everywhere.

Hmmm.

Exactly.

Yes, black people are forever randomly insulting the mothers of toddlers for letting them toddle. Happens all the time.

Walkaround · 07/02/2023 08:04

Yes, more likely he said idiot, because you were being an idiot, imvho, and he was being rude and unhelpful. What is the point of ineffectually chasing behind your toddler, asking them to be careful when you know they are not listening and you have no control over the situation?

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