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Original poster

Do your kids just walk in and out of your room?

67 replies

Taylortaylortaylortaylor · 05/02/2023 11:13

Just that really. I'm sure when I was a kid my parents' bedroom was basically off limits - ie I had to knock before I went in, there was no open door policy. My own DC (8 and 6) just wander in to ours at will, jump around when I'm trying to get dressed and so on. Obviously when they were tiny it was one thing but I find it a bit grating now, I would love just one space in the house that is adult only! Do others accept their kids wandering in and out or is this something that people clamp down on when they outgrow the toddler stage? My parents were quite hands off and I don't want to be like that.

OP posts:
WandaWonder · 05/02/2023 11:15

If we are getting dressed no but even our child leaves his door open most of the time we do all know boundaries when we have too but generally we are all open doors by nature really

28January · 05/02/2023 11:18

No, our kids always knocked once they were old enough to be told they should if the door was closed. Open door means you are welcome to come in. Same goes the other way around, we would knock on closed doors.

Floralnomad · 05/02/2023 11:21

If the door is open anyone is free to come in .

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Original poster
Taylortaylortaylortaylor · 05/02/2023 11:21

We tend to have to have doors open 90% of the time as we have two cats who scratch at closed doors otherwise.

OP posts:
OhClunge · 05/02/2023 11:29

We knock even if the doors open our children do the same

OverProtectiveMumOfPFB · 05/02/2023 11:53

Yes, but access to the bathroom is through our room.

Mermaidpool · 05/02/2023 12:01

If the door is open they can walk in, door closed you knock

EasilyDirected · 05/02/2023 12:04

Knock if the door is closed here. During waking hours our room is just another room that anyone can spend time in, there is often a teenager lying on our bed. DD comes in to use the mirror for her hair and make-up as the light is better than in her room. I can wander in and out of my parents bedroom freely if the door is open too. Doors are open by default in both homes.

EasilyDirected · 05/02/2023 12:07

I actually really like having the DCs in our room, when they were younger we used to read bedtime stories in our bed as there was room for all of us together, I like it if one of them is in there when I’m tidying, putting laundry, getting ready for bed etc (I do scoot them out before changing). The main rule is that they leave it as they find it, I don’t want to find mugs, chargers, etc all over the place when I go to bed.

Pseudonamed · 05/02/2023 12:13

No. None of them want to see anyone else naked etc. I knock going into the kids rooms too. Mutual respect etc but they are teens too.

Chiasmi · 05/02/2023 12:15

They knock.

If they're old enough to take friends upstairs without an adult they need to have that boundary that mum and dad's room is off limits when they're unsupervised.

Similarly I knock on their doors (or holler "knock knock" if my hands are full.

EasilyDirected · 05/02/2023 12:26

Yes,, that is another rule, no friends in there, but I just told them that when they got old enough to go upstairs with friends unsupervised and its never been a problem.

Macaroni46 · 05/02/2023 12:29

Taylortaylortaylortaylor · 05/02/2023 11:13

Just that really. I'm sure when I was a kid my parents' bedroom was basically off limits - ie I had to knock before I went in, there was no open door policy. My own DC (8 and 6) just wander in to ours at will, jump around when I'm trying to get dressed and so on. Obviously when they were tiny it was one thing but I find it a bit grating now, I would love just one space in the house that is adult only! Do others accept their kids wandering in and out or is this something that people clamp down on when they outgrow the toddler stage? My parents were quite hands off and I don't want to be like that.

So if you don't like it, tell them to stop!

Pinkypurplecloud · 05/02/2023 12:32

They are allowed to just come in if the door is open, which if almost always is, and if there’s a reason for them to be there - getting something, they are having a conversation with me etc. But I don’t expect my room to become their playroom or an extension of their bedrooms and if they’re being annoying or I just want some space then I have no hesitation in (nicely) telling them to go away.

I have drawn a very firm boundary though that their friends are not allowed in bedrooms other than their own. There is plenty of social space downstairs, I do not want random kids in my room.

Beezknees · 05/02/2023 12:33

At 6, he came in and out as he pleased. When he got to around 8 or 9 he started wanting privacy when he was getting changed, so I always knocked when his bedroom door was closed and told him he must do the same with me. He's a teen and wouldn't ever barge into my room now, he'd be mortified if he saw me naked!

Keepyourmummysboys · 05/02/2023 12:37

If it’s closed they knock as do we on theirs. If it’s open walk in.

rainyalan · 05/02/2023 12:38

My sons knock but my daughter who's 7 just waltz's in. When she gets older she will be told to knock before coming in too.

TomatoSandwiches · 05/02/2023 12:41

I knock on their doors and they knock on mine.
8 & 6 are fine ages to learn this.

Deadringer · 05/02/2023 12:44

My dc would always knock before they come into our room. I extend them the same courtesy, I always knockef before I entered their rooms even when they were quite small. We have a lock on our door too though.

Deadringer · 05/02/2023 12:45

*knocked

UseOfWeapons · 05/02/2023 12:51

Always knocked, even if their door was open. It’s how we’re raised.

Thirdsummerofourdiscontent · 05/02/2023 12:51

If the doors open they walk straight in, if the doors closed they knock. It’s the same for everyone’s bedrooms. Oldest is now a teenager.

evtheria · 05/02/2023 12:52

I grew up always knocking before I went in my parents room (don't remember minding or disliking that, either).

DS hasn't been raised to do the same, but I am trying now (he's 8) to get him to do it, and I try also tapping his door before I go in. We usually have our doors slightly open, so it's more if it is closed we seem to remember to knock.

PeekAtYou · 05/02/2023 12:54

Once my kids went to school I taught them to always knock. I always knocked on their doors too.

IWonderWhyIBother · 05/02/2023 13:22

If the door is closed or as good as then we knock. If they just walked in and I was getting dressed they’re going to be more embarrassed than me.

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