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Original poster

Do your kids just walk in and out of your room?

67 replies

Taylortaylortaylortaylor · 05/02/2023 11:13

Just that really. I'm sure when I was a kid my parents' bedroom was basically off limits - ie I had to knock before I went in, there was no open door policy. My own DC (8 and 6) just wander in to ours at will, jump around when I'm trying to get dressed and so on. Obviously when they were tiny it was one thing but I find it a bit grating now, I would love just one space in the house that is adult only! Do others accept their kids wandering in and out or is this something that people clamp down on when they outgrow the toddler stage? My parents were quite hands off and I don't want to be like that.

OP posts:
ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 05/02/2023 13:23

When i was young, adult bedrooms were totally off-limits. That includes grandparents, aunts, neighbours, etc.

MintJulia · 05/02/2023 13:29

If the door is closed, he knocks, if it's open he comes straight in. I do the same with his room.

Mutual courtesy.

Lkydfju · 05/02/2023 13:29

My younger ones do but I do tell them not to mess about with my stuff as my 5 year old will go through my drawers and attempt to dust with my make up brushes or something equally unhelpful.
Our teen knocks on the door if the door is closed and once our DC were old enough that they would play upstairs while I was downstairs they know not to play in my room/that there’s no reason to go in there unless asked to get something

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Smartiepants79 · 05/02/2023 13:30

Mine still just wonder in as they choose at the moment.
It doesn’t bother me.

whoruntheworldgirls · 05/02/2023 13:30

Yep 6 year old does, will maybe give it another year or so until we start saying she needs to knock

GoldilockMom · 05/02/2023 13:32

I'm sure when I was a kid my parents' bedroom was basically off limits - ie I had to knock before I went in, there was no open door policy

It sounds like you’re blaming them for something you haven’t taught them? Kids don’t just know stuff!!

ScreamALullabye · 05/02/2023 13:32

Yes we do tend to wander in and out of rooms without knocking, my room and theirs (2 DC 18 & 16) and I do keep thinking that we really should knock especially with the age they care at! If I'm getting changed and I hear them outside I tend to shout "I'm naked" which definitely puts them off coming in haha

RoseThornside · 05/02/2023 13:37

We had to knock before going into our parents' room. Even then, we'd walk in gingerly. On a similar vein my mother had a thing about her handbag. No-one was to touch it, let alone go in it. I became totally grossed out by her handbag - would probably recoil now if she asked me to even pick it up, and their bedroom - uuuurrrggghhhhh!!!!

Needless to say, my bedroom is a free for all and no-one is repulsed by it, as is my handbag.

Floralnomad · 05/02/2023 14:21

I don’t care , with family , who is in my room / en suite or handbag . My children are now adults . My daughter is quite happy getting stuff from my handbag , my husband always brings the entire bag in for me to get whatever it is out for him - I assume he had a mother who’s handbag was off limits .

cheatingcrackers · 05/02/2023 14:37

Our room is a free for all and anyone is welcome in it. The kids don't knock and I don't ask them to, unless DH or I are WFH in there. The other private stuff we do while they're in bed - they are 8, 6 and 4 so at some point we will have to change that as they will be off to bed later than us!

My parents' room was always open and I remember lots of friends commenting on how nice it was that our house was so open and relaxed, so I want my kids and kids coming here to feel the same. I once walked in on DS and his best friend curled up in my bed reading, it was lovely.

All that said if you want them to knock, ask them to knock!

MajorCarolDanvers · 05/02/2023 14:40

Yes pretty much

woodhill · 05/02/2023 14:45

No I didn't want this and they never did this apart from when they were tiny.

aSofaNearYou · 05/02/2023 14:49

I wouldn't allow this at 8 and 6 tbh. They're welcome to come in if they need to talk to me but broadly they should know that it's my space so not theirs to jump around in, if that makes sense. I'd expect them to do that in their own bedroom.

BooksAndHooks · 05/02/2023 14:52

There’s a lock on the door so if I don’t want them walking it I lock it.

Thinkbiglittleone · 05/02/2023 15:06

Yes our DS is 5 and can come in and out of our bedroom as he needs.
He knocks on the bathroom door.

He knows when his friends are around then our room is off limits.

grayhairdontcare · 05/02/2023 15:09

Open doors on bedrooms mean you can just come in.
Closed doors mean knock first.
Including the children's rooms.
That was always the rule here.

MadMadMadamMim · 05/02/2023 15:12

Mine tend to bellow 'Mum?' and I shout 'hang on a minute, I'm just getting dressed' if that's the case. He's 17 and doesn't want to see me naked. If I shout 'I'm in my room' he would probably wander in.

Knocking on a door in your own home sounds a bit weird and formal to me, but do what works for you.

KnittedCardi · 05/02/2023 15:21

Bedroom doors always open here to our rooms, and girls rooms (teens/twenties). No-one is bothered by nudity. We don't have locks in the bathrooms either, but do knock to come in. Bathing and showering is not off limits either for a quick chat. No peace in this house!

IWonderWhyIBother · 05/02/2023 15:22

Knocking on a door in your own home sounds a bit weird and formal to me, but do what works for you.

Its not like knocking on the headteacher’s door, just a little tap with a ‘are you decent?’ or ‘is it ok to come in?’ Not weird or formal.
My brother has a my house I’ll go wherever I want attitude and walked in on his son with his girlfriend atop him when he went to let them know dinner was ready. Bet he wishes he knocked or shouted out with hindsight.

WaddleAway · 05/02/2023 15:26

Surely the solution here is down to you… you tell them they have to knock first before they come in?
Mine don’t knock but I’m rarely in my room except to sleep. I’m up and showered before they get up usually, and don’t tend to go in there during the day.

PatientlyWaiting21 · 05/02/2023 15:26

No rooms was off limits when I was growing up and I have the same policy with my own children. I get space in the evening when they’re in bed.

MyMachineAndMe · 05/02/2023 15:33

Ours don't knock but don't come in either. We have said many times that they're not to go in our room unless specifically told they can. They're 10 & 11.

I remember snooping in my mam's room as a teen - I was looking for Christmas presents - and finding things I didn't want to see. She put a lock on their door!

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 05/02/2023 15:37

Door closed means knock, otherwise its fair game.

I have a nintendo switch in my room (yes, for me!) And if the kids want to play their switch together on our big TV they will use our room for my dock.

AmillionReasons · 05/02/2023 15:40

My dcs are too young and we leave our bedroom door adjar at night, incase they wander in or need us, we can hear them call out etc. I'd imagine when youngest is alittle older we will do a knock if door closed approach. As soon as dcs start wanting privacy we will apply the same approach to their bedrooms too.

mathanxiety · 05/02/2023 15:41

If something they do is bothering you, just tell them to stop.

They will cope.