Can't do weekends anymore

[HotWaterBottleAndABook]

Don’t know what’s changed. Well, maybe I do, but I don’t know what to do about it.

I used to work part time. I would work for half of the week, decompress and clean and tidy the house for the latter half. The weekend was spent living (shopping/ going to new places/ walking etc).

Now I work full time (financial necessity). I don’t feel that I have any more money left over. I work flat out all week, then the weekend happens. I don’t want to do anything. I'm tired. I don’t want to tidy or clean. I don’t want to go out. If we go out, the house stays bad. If we get the house nice, we don’t do anything.

We're all tired. The teens have found it harder now that we both work full time (their days are longer). Everyone pulls their weight to an extent, but we all come home tired and want to crash in the evenings.

Life is just 100% or nothing. Everyone is a bit tired and the family doesn’t feel happy anymore. The oldest DC is has so much studying to do. So much homework.

It's like we all know how to work hard, but none of us can remember how to relax and play. I know I could leave the house and not worry so much about tidying and cleaning, but I want to be able to invite people around , but that’s not happening the way it is.

🙁

Another vote for The Organised Mum Method (google TOMM for details)

If you've got the buy-in / support of the whole household then it'll be an absolute doddle and you'll all have your weekends free for fun!

it’s best if you set your self tasks each day for housework to minimise the work
focus on a room and touch ups do dishes immediately wipe the sides after use and hoover or mop every other day teens should be chipping in give them jobs

housework will get more tedious and harder work if left until a weekend or end of week to do irs about getting balance right i don’t have a cleaner i couldn’t afford it

Love this :)

And this is great ✌😊

Wow! So many replies. I will take some time now to read through them.

Yes to this. I went from working 4 days a week to 5 days a week, but with a cleaner. Oh my, what a difference! I felt I was working two jobs earlier, now I am much more relaxed.

Does your weekend have to be all fun, all drudgery or all relaxation?

If you plan a few outings which take up an hour or two rather than a whole day then that still leaves plenty of time to catch up on jobs and relax a bit

I find I tend to procrastinate with household jobs less if I have a few things in the diary, if I know I've got plans at lunchtime on Saturday for example I am more motivates to get moving in the morning and get jobs done where as if I have all day 'free' I tend to be a lot less productive!

I feel the same way, OP! I’ve been working full time for almost a year now. Upped from 4 days a week when exH left. Financial necessity. I work shifts including weekends. It’s exhausting. I feel constantly drained and sometimes can’t even summon the energy to cook. Housework on my days off. I guess I’ll get used to it. I’m older now too so I suppose that’s another thing. And I feel very cynical about my work. I am sticking with it because the pay is fairly good for the industry I work in. I’ll do it until the children are more independent, then I’ll do something else that I think I’d enjoy more.

I think this is just the way of the world now for everyone. It’s hard but the bills must be paid and the kids must be looked after. I think I need to set time aside to swim or do a yoga class but I keep procrastinating because I’m too tired to organise it or get off the sofa!

Have a sit down with the entire family. Work out priorities and minimum expectations and then divide up the jobs. Include lifts to places for kids in the jobs you do, if you're making a list, if you're looking to free up some time, splitting pick up and drop off duties for kids activities with another family might be useful.

If everyone is already picking up after themselves, there shouldn't be that much to do on a daily basis. If not, start from there, common areas being tidy as a minimum (no towels left in bathroom, washing in baskets, bags away, dishes in allocated place, rubbish in bins). Get a basket, chuck all the stuff they leave around in it, keeps things eye tidy, but not much work for you.

If you agree that you will all do fifteen or twenty minutes of 'house stuff' per day, that's an hour of manpower, and should make a quick bathroom wipe down, cooking dinner, doing dishes and wiping benches down reasonable. Or alternatively, give yourselves one evening off a week, where no one does any jobs, then you've got that to look forward to.

You don't say how old your teens are, but allocating them one day each to make dinner and clean up may mean you're then free to sort other stuff, as well as expanding their life skills and preparing them to become adults. I'm not sure why you working longer hours means they have longer days too, but if it's school transport reasons, could they grab a lift with someone else a couple of days a week, and do half an hour of dinner prep and cleaning before you get home?

Keep things as tidy as possible as you go e.g. wipe over kitchen after cooking each evening, hoover every other day. Saturday morning have a lie in and a cuppa in bed, make it a luxury and give yourself a break after working all week. I find that really helps me separate the weekend from my work days. Then every family member spends an hour cleaning, get some music/podcast/audiobook on while you do, then you're free to enjoy the rest of your weekend by midday saturday. Honestly as long as my bathrooms and kitchen are done weekly I don't care if I give my living room or bedroom a miss one week. Life is for living and anyone welcome in my home wouldn't give a shit anyway.