Antibreastfeeding?

[Redebs]

Having just browsed some of the 'Help articles' on here, I'm shocked at how Mumsnet is discouraging breastfeeding.

There's one on how normal it is to wean off the breast at two months because of all the 'problems you will have'.

There's one on 'combi feeding', which is about giving formula feeds to breastfed babies - the surest way to reduce your milk supply in reality.

There's another one about packing dummies and bottles in your hospital labour bag. This is definitely going to interfere with newborns getting colostrum and learning to latch. If a baby needs anything, the hospital will provide it in reality.

I know some women choose to formula feed, but these are insidious, supposedly helpful, undermining tactics aimed at new mothers trying to breastfeed. Most of these are sponsored by the baby bottle manufacturer MAM.

If formula companies were promoting this, they would be, rightly, in contravention of advertising rules.

All medical and scientific advice is to give exclusively breastmilk for the first six months and to continue to at least twelve months or longer.

I think you have a problem that my DC’s turned out perfect from feeding them formula and then shock horror, they were weaned on pouches and jars!

These posts are sickening. The posts about being selfish are just awful. Is motherhood a sacrifice? Yes. But not perpetually and you can and should pick the times when you need to put yourself first. Not looking after yourself and your needs is the worst thing you can do for your child. I would love to see how those bleating about being selfish look after their children in reality- I'm sure there are a multitude of ways you could do better as every parent falls short somewhere. How dare you be so sanctimonious about the choices of others?

But I think the breast is best and pushing how wonderful breastfeeding is just undermines breastfeeding. There needs to be more honest information. So for some women it is easy and enjoyable. For some it is awful. Even the existence of D Mer is hardly ever talked about.

I agree.

I did an NCT course, which including a 3 hour session on BF. There was no mention of cluster feeding or BF aversion.

When DS (inevitably) cluster fed I thought there was something really wrong, until I spoke to friends who had BF their older children. It was a relief to find out it was normal, but I can't for the life of me understand why they left something so critical out of a (paid) course.

@Calphurnia88 it definitely depends on who is taking the course we covered cluster feeding but our sessions were run by a lactation practitioner.

I do think they avoid putting women off by some of the info beforehand (or they do in Scotland). Our NHS Antenatal classes admitted having a mum in explaining scared future mothers!
Personally I think there is a balance to be struck for women who do want to feed but ultimately it takes support and understanding.
My friend is a midwife and she hates having to do the weigh ins so quickly now as she says it's detrimental mum gets stressed which can effect supply and it's straight away a uphill battle. I also don't think there is enough information on expressing colostrum before birth. I didn't do this with DS1 but did with DS2 and it was night and day to how relaxed I felt as I knew there was a bit of a safety net in the freezer so he didn't get dehydrated etc

I would love to see how those bleating about being selfish look after their children in reality- I'm sure there are a multitude of ways you could do better as every parent falls short somewhere. How dare you be so sanctimonious about the choices of others?

Exactly!

@Parker231 I'm perfectly healthy despite being born to a bulimic mother who smoked throughout pregnancy and my childhood. If we're functioning off of purely anecdotal logic then I don't understand why there's such a stigma around either of those things.

(Do you see why only appearing to be cognizant of your own experience comes across as being absurd?)

I wonder if the "breast is best" message combined with how HCPs, NCT, etc. barely talk about formula antenatally or to new mothers just plays into the hands of formula advertisers. Like it or not the push for breastfeeding just alienates a lot of people and the radio silence on formula probably makes it seem like a conspiracy. Like it's so good they aren't allowed to talk about it.

I'd like to see more neutral information about the realities of both methods and their pros and cons. The current approach clearly doesn't work well.

@Calphurnia88 Awful that it did not even mention cluster feeding.
I remember on here a woman said a much older midwife showed her how to gently detach the baby when her baby was just using her as a dummy. I know some mothers are fine with that, but some babies constantly attach when not sleeping and mothers just want a break. Being realistic about things like this helps.
Instead the breast is best crowd seem to push a vision of breastfeeding that only really works if breastfeeding is relatively easy.
There is also little information on weaning off the breast when women want to stop. Not everyone wants to breastfeed when their child is a toddler.

There is also little information on weaning off the breast when women want to stop.

Agree with this also.

From memory, most of the BF education I received was focused on latch and positioning. Very little else.

Most of us are really only interested in our own DC’s and don’t care what decisions others make - nothing absurd about it

It was painful for me at the beginning. My son had tongue tie. No way I was stopping. Eventually tongue tie got sorted

I'm confused; you said your dc are in their twenties? I didn't think prefect prep machines were around over 20 years ago? In fact I always see you on these type of threads, and many times I've seen your posts stating that you wish those machines were around when your dc were babies. Which is it?

I was absolutely shocked by how hard breastfeeding was. I thought you just shoved the baby on your boob and that was it. Everyone told me is was amazing and easy, pure instinct and would come naturally.

AHAHAHAHAHA. I learned the hard way that was not the case.

When my DT’s were babies the branded perfect prep machines weren’t available but we had an equivalent very antiquated version - probably not very safe electrically! Much easier on that front for today’s parents. Thankfully Mn and other forums weren’t around then to criticise my choices.

Similar experience! Only my first DC didn’t latch & was cup fed for the first week - which meant we had to stay in Hospital hell.

God the weaning battles you hear about on here! Crying and screaming, mums having to wear polo necks and sports bras… it doesn’t sound very ‘gentle’ or ‘comforting’ to me. I stopped at 8 months so luckily DD forgot all about it within a day or two.

I think these discussions come up so often on forums and the response is always the same. What's flawed in our society is the pressure, judgement and lack of sound information regardless of how you feed your baby. What I feel I never see commented is a lot of this is the same for both breastfeeding and formula feeding mothers. I chose to breastfeed and get sick to death of the lack of accurate information/ support/ complete judgement I get from others however, my sister in law chose to formula feed and again she's also had to deal with incorrect information, lack of support and judgement from others.

Companies/NHS/General society needs to focus more on supporting women's choices and providing accurate information in order for them to allow their children to thrive rather than just pushing their own narrative.

There seem to be a lot of people assuming that either you're thick as two planks, or advertising doesn't work on you and won't impact you.

Psychology doesn't work like that. Highly intelligent, utterly jaded by advertising people who you might suspect wouldn't be influence by advertising, are influenced by advertising.

Advertising pushes and sways people when they're at their absolute best. So when they've just had one of the biggest hormone rushes of their entire lives and are probably the most sleep deprived they will be in their lives, of course advertising can influence them. Highly educated, intelligent and confident or not.

It is not just something that influences morons with no minds of their own, and the insinuation it does just shows a basic lack of understanding of human psychology.

If we all had complete conscious control over our psychology, then we probably wouldn't have psychology as a field of study.

Wow, I've never heard of that. Who made it?

I don’t think I said otherwise?
Everyone is entitled to choose for themselves.
Many women found breastfeeding very difficult and may have continued with better/more consistent support. There are loads of women who feel they failed, which should be remedied.

I think its absolutely changing. Im constantly being told by my midwife and by the local breast feeding support groups that its going to be really difficult and painful and stressful. I keep being told to pack premade formula from hospital "just in case" so now im paranoid that my baby is going to starve because im not going to produce anything and it makes me wonder if its even worth trying.

I agree OP. The sponsored article on mixed feeding is a clear message. Those who know how advertising and marketing works can see it. I'm grateful I found this site 11 years ago and had lots of help EBF my dc, mastitis, feeding from one breast, breast refusal and weaning. There was a lovely kind and knowledgeable poster and I will be forever grateful to her and that supportive community 😍

Why shouldn’t women have info on mixed feeding? Just because it offends your own sensibilities for some strange reason?

@Cuppasoupmonster where did I say it offends my sensitivities, how did you read that in my post 😂

It's obvious to people who work in marketing and advertising ( I do) that the message on infant feeding on this site has changed. Perhaps you are not able to see it, that's fine but don't project your ignorance on others. Mixed feeding is great, ff is also brilliant, we are lucky to have different options that are safe. The breast is best message was detrimental tom women's mental health back in the day because it wasn't accompanied by sufficient and effective support and education. The NCT did pick up a lot of this but they went too far the natural birthing and EBF way. This puts a lot of pressure on women and was a sort of misinformation. Now the pendulum has swung back and bottle is big on this site. It influences women's choices so at least it's helpful to be aware.