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Ridiculous 'arty' property photos

83 replies

DuckBushCityLimit · 01/02/2023 16:53

I know this sort of thing has been done many times, but... I'm in the market for a house, not a bichon frise!

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/131285420#/?channel=RES_BUY

OP posts:
Iwantabloodypizza · 01/02/2023 16:55

The dog and the children’s mural 😂

Fucks sake!

Teatime55 · 01/02/2023 16:55

There seems lots of focus now on the sellers ‘stuff’ which they would be taking anyway.

BooCrew · 01/02/2023 16:59

Bizarre. It's obviously meant to be 'aspirational', but it's a fairly standard three bed semi with a North-facing garden. Masses of people live in houses like that, just not in Bromley 🙄

Saz12 · 01/02/2023 17:04

Is it advanced warning that the house smells of dog...? Not really a sales point though...

MaverickGooseGoose · 01/02/2023 17:07

Metropolitan police bike locker 😂

Iwantabloodypizza · 01/02/2023 17:11

All those photos are pointless though.
You can’t get a feel for the rooms size or layout in any of them.

Showersugar · 01/02/2023 17:12

Oh wow, those pictures aren't arty, they're just naff. I'm cringing, oh no.. I mean it's a perfectly lovely family home but The Modern House it ain't!

NowThatIThink · 01/02/2023 17:16

They're trying to sell a lifestyle for 600 k. I assume the EA thinks that the house looks more aspirational/upmarket with a focus on its current inhabitants' contents than it would empty, or more depersonalised.

Showersugar · 01/02/2023 17:16

Oh wow just read the description - it's gets even better. You can stand at the sink and look at the cul de sac! Still I suppose it beats looking at the wall Shirley Valentine style!

This is like if David Brent went into real estate..

froomeonthebroom · 01/02/2023 17:20

Estate agents are knobs

ProtectorExtraordinaryOfTheCantonsOfNim · 01/02/2023 17:21

It's the estate agency -- look at their other properties and all of them are photographed like that (apart from the dog).

fairgame84 · 01/02/2023 17:23

I've not seen that before.
Although I was looking at a listing the other day where all the rooms appeared curved because of how the agent had tried to make them look bigger on photos.

AndNowIKnowWhatHappened · 01/02/2023 17:25

Oh dear, those photos are
Terrible and really naff. I bet the estate agent thinks they are the bees knees too 😅

nxa · 01/02/2023 17:40

I really love the ones where they do a close-up of a running tap. I've seen this multiple times and I can never understand why.

midsomermurderess · 01/02/2023 17:41

It’s everywhere, the instagramification of property schedules. You want to get an idea of spaces and flow, not photos of fruit bowls and taps.

Justleaveitblankthen · 01/02/2023 17:53

How bloody much?🤯
Don't mind me, I'm from up north

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 01/02/2023 17:56

Is that Savoy cabbage in the fruit bowl?

BigFrau · 01/02/2023 17:57

Oh my god, I just had to come on here specifically to vent about this!

One of the main estate agents near me is so useless:

  1. "Arty" photo of an irrelevant object - vase, candleholder - massively in the foreground with the background blurred out, Hitchcock style. Just why??

  2. Photos obviously taken on mobile phone - dark, blurry, only a tiny part of the room in shot.

  3. No floorplans. Drives me insane. Don't people want to sell their house? I imagine he tempts sellers with a cheaper option that does not include floorplans. But I need floorplans! Especially because his crappy photos are so bad and tell me nothing!

happinessischocolate · 01/02/2023 17:57

This is like if David Brent went into real estate..

😂😂😂

happinessischocolate · 01/02/2023 18:01

BigFrau · 01/02/2023 17:57

Oh my god, I just had to come on here specifically to vent about this!

One of the main estate agents near me is so useless:

  1. "Arty" photo of an irrelevant object - vase, candleholder - massively in the foreground with the background blurred out, Hitchcock style. Just why??

  2. Photos obviously taken on mobile phone - dark, blurry, only a tiny part of the room in shot.

  3. No floorplans. Drives me insane. Don't people want to sell their house? I imagine he tempts sellers with a cheaper option that does not include floorplans. But I need floorplans! Especially because his crappy photos are so bad and tell me nothing!

If it doesn't have a floor plan I'm not interested.

Seriously, I just move on, can not be arsed

BitOutOfPractice · 01/02/2023 18:03

Yes, I agree, I don’t want to see a close up if anyone’s fruit bowl thanks.

Iwantabloodypizza · 01/02/2023 18:04

happinessischocolate · 01/02/2023 18:01

If it doesn't have a floor plan I'm not interested.

Seriously, I just move on, can not be arsed

Yes! I always go to the floor plan first when I am looking at houses.

We put my fathers house up for sale
last year and two agents said they didn’t do floor plans. Main reasons I didn’t go with them.

DuckBushCityLimit · 01/02/2023 18:07

Trouble is, the agent will see lots of extra views from here and think they are officially the world's greatest estate agent. No! Your photos are pointless and offputting!

@LadyMonicaBaddingham Well, my DC are constantly snacking on a lovely bit of savoy cabbage out of the fruit bowl, can't keep it restocked fast enough.

OP posts:
Jemimapuddleduk · 01/02/2023 18:07

£600k, I am shocked

MmeDefrag · 01/02/2023 18:11

From “About the agent”:

Maison is built on the twin pillars of style and storytelling. We show our clients homes at their most captivating, using best-in-class photography to capture how spaces are lived in and loved by homeowners.

You don’t say. 😁

It’s a nice house, I hope it sells. It’s not their fault their estate agent fell out of the Faraway Tree.

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