February alcohol free/moderation thread - graduates and flunkies of Dry Jan 2023, new members welcome!

[MeinKraft]

Dry January has come to an end (sooner for some of us than others ) but the alcohol free fun doesn't have to stop there!

Whether you're wanting to extend your drought, moderate your drinking on an ongoing basis or are thinking of going dry for Lent and want to prepare why not join us to discuss all things alcohol free!

I've reported myself for being idiotic and posting on the wrong thread.
As you were.

Thanks for the replies. I haven’t drunk today so will have done 3 days sober this week at least. I need to try really hard to moderate tomorrow.

I think my problem is that once I’ve had a few glasses of red wine, my willpower goes out the window and I just throw caution to the wind and keep drinking. I also drink wine quite quickly compared to others.

Yesterday was day 31 for me, so I’ve officially completed DJ!

These last few days I’ve noticed my face is slimmer, im
sleeping better and I’m often up before my alarm.

My DH opened a bottle of wine tonight, but I wasn’t tempted at all. Like many of you, I find abstinence easier than moderation and I’m worried that once I have one I’ll be throwing them down my neck.

Hoping for as many dry days as possible this month!

"I think my problem is that once I’ve had a few glasses of red wine, my willpower goes out the window and I just throw caution to the wind and keep drinking. I also drink wine quite quickly compared to others."

Swap the word 'red' to 'white and this is me exactly. It really worries me that I can glug sauvignon blanc like it's orange squash. It's that 'okay, I'll have another glass, it's going down really nicely...ooh, I'll just have a bit more, just as a top up...ah well, I might as well finish the bottle' mentality.

I am sticking with abstinence for now but also conscious that I don't want to become too obsessive about it. I also need to stop eating my body weight in sweet stuff to make up for the lack of wine!!

I did dry jan. Had first drink of year tonight a gin and diet lemonade as I'm trying to be healthier.

Me too , anything fizzy though and I'm there, refilling the glass.

DH and I went out to the pub tonight and had 4 drinks 🙄

HOWEVER... we ate properly before we went, cleaned the house up and got showered and changed so it was a bit of an event. We had a great night but have agreed we won't be drinking tomorrow. My biggest fear was that we would slip back into the every day trap, so I'm really pleased DH is on board with continuing to be AF.

I'm slightly disappointed that I didn't remain AF (I was undecided until we were at the bar) although we had previously decided we would only have two drinks in any case. I'm bothered by how easily that turned into 4, but also heartened that neither of us have any desire to do the same tomorrow.

DH has also spent a lot of money today on a couple of jackets that he felt he couldn't justify. The first was already a done deal, when I mentioned that the second one cost what he had saved by doing DJ he was gobsmacked. It turns out that DH needs an actual physical "thing" to equate to the money he hasn't spent for it to make sense.

Today is a new day and I’m determined to moderate my drinking this time. I’ll be aiming for three medium glasses maximum and no more. I might check in throughout the day to help me stay on track if that’s okay.

Had a lovely evening last night with friends we normally drink with. I didn't drink, still aiming for 60 days dry. They asked if I was looking forward to a drink in March. I'm not sure I am anymore, and I have more and more been looking at it objectively and thinking what are the pros and cons? I have really enjoyed having my evenings and early mornings back, doing things like yoga and reading that I genuinely enjoy. I do love the taste of wine but is that really enough of a benefit to give up everything else that I'm really enjoying at the moment? To be honest I'm slightly dreading the drunk/hungover feeling now. I don't know how I'll feel when I actually have the first drink.

Morning all. A fresh day for everyone.

I think the moderation stage is tough. Still working it out. Hope you have a good day @freshstart2023 and find a level that works. Can I ask what makes you say 3 glasses? Is that a stage that feels good?

Speed of drinking is a massive issue for me. Tiny glasses do help a but I think but not that much.

Was at a party last night, not drinking was zero issue except for the pressure from the hosts! I was a bit scared as it was my first party with multiple members of dp's family including his ex wife and his two kids. I'm happy not to have drunk tbh though largely from pure vanity as I always go bright red when I drink and dp's ex has lovely caramel skin. Just shows being AF has zero to do with virtue for me.

Yes, I think 3 medium glasses is probably the sweet spot for me. It feels like I’ve had a “good” amount of wine so I don’t feel I’m missing out. It’s also enough to feel quite tipsy but not out of control drunk, and I know I’ll feel okay on that amount the next morning. This is all assuming I’m not drinking on an empty stomach of course, at which point my tolerance is significantly less.

I drank a whole bottle of Prosecco last night but I don't care because I really enjoyed it. It wasn't very strong so I don't feel too bad this morning. Need to have a few dry days now!

It sounds like you had a lovely night @Champagneforeveryone. I don’t think that’s anything to feel guilty about. I’m the same as you in that I worry one night’s drinking will lead to two. It’s good that you both agreed not to drink the following night.

I think my DH prefers me after a few drinks. I’m more relaxed, more affectionate… I’m making a conscious effort to be like that when I’m sober.

When I tried to moderate my drinking before, I bought tins is pre-mixed G&T and topped them up with more tonic in a nice glass, lots of ice and garnish. Seemed to do the trick. I was in far greater control of how many units I was drinking.

I find moderating wine so much more difficult! One thing that helped is having a set amount (say half a bottle of wine), followed by a treat that doesn’t involve alcohol to draw a line under the drinking e.g. cheese on toast, a cup of tea and a fancy biscuit, a hot chocolate. Then bed!

Managed not to drink last night! Was going to have wine, but thought I'd start with a ginger cordial and fizzy water, then I had a fever tree Mediterranean tonic. After those and being distracted by a couple of domestic issues it was late so I went to bed!
Very pleased. I'll not drink now (hopefully) till next Friday. I'm glad I came on this thread because I usually check out after dry January. Posting often on a dry thread helps keep me on the straight and narrow... I don't want to have to come on and post my slip-ups!

So interesting - and reassuring - to read all your experiences with moderating. Thanks again for this thread @MeinKraft

I think my big challenge is to not drink mindlessly at home. I also drink very quickly, and too quick to refill as well. Last night was a challenge - nice dinner and film, but I managed, just. My 3 herbal teas weren't the same at all ; )

Well, I feel rubbish 🙄

I slept badly, woke up in the small hours needing a drink, and am currently still in bed sulking as DH has taken my car to church because DS's wouldn't start. I had planned a beach-combing morning but am now stuck until DH gets home, by which time I will have missed the tide (DH is acting as church warden today so has to go)

DH was a little terser than normal but is unlikely to admit to more than being slightly tired. He looks puffier and you can see that he "had a drink" last night.

I'm annoyed that one of my rest days will be felt feeling sub par, and it's all my own fault. I don't like it and I'm irritated that I've allowed it to happen after doing so well during DJ. On the plus side, it has really steeled my resolve for moderation and I hope I can hold on to the memory of this grotty feeling going forward.

I had a drink on Fri and three at friends last night. I feel awful. I'd forgotten how much alcohol impacts my sleep and how grotty I feel the next day. I think I might be going dry again.

I had two gin and lemonade's last night. (Not large ones) Feel dreadful today, headache, nausea.

I wonder for those who have resumed whether the same amount of alcohol now would have made you feel so bad before Dry Jan?

I hosted a dinner last night and didn't drink, but one of the friends joining doesn't drink, and the other was driving - so no pressure. Was nice to not have to stress about various kitchen activity, as being sober was totally on top of it (not that I'm not normally - but takes effort after a couple of drinks), or start wishing for bed earlier than everyone else was ready to leave.

I'm also in the 'drank last night' club.

I wasn't planning to but my main trigger is stressful situations and yesterday was very stressful. Teen DD (with MH issues) jumped out of the car as we stopped at some traffic lights in central london and disappeared for an hour (also turned location off) . Then she stormed out of the house last night at 9.30 until 10.30. My lovely friend / next door neighbour went out to look for her but she returned. She's not in a good place at the moment mentally so I was really worried.

I managed dry jan when things were tough but this tipped the balance and I had 3 glasses of wine and a g & t. I know not advisable when DD not in a good place but I just knew that I needed to numb the stress and worry for a bit. I don't know what today holds (for her or me - whether I drink or not) but I'm not beating myself up about last night.

Banging headache when I woke up but otherwise ok. I did really miss the clear headed feeling as I opened my eyes though.

That sounds really stressful @lemonsaretheonlyfruit ! I hope the rest of the weekend with DD is calmer.

I also had my first wine after DJ last night. Like so many of us, I've felt conflicted about whether to or not. I'm not really a big drinker normally but it has certainly crept up over the last 2 years.

My energy levels and skin have been so much better during DJ and I'm reluctant to give that up.

DH had given me a couple of 250ml bottles of red as stocking fillers so I had one of those with a rare Indian takeaway. It was nice, but I drank it so slowly I think I kinda missed the buzz.

I slept badly and looked a bit puffy this morning. Its certainly strengthend my resolve to be mainly AF.

Really interested to hear how everyone else is doing.

Keep reminding myself why this is important...

We re-binged Breaking Bad through January and finished last night. Watched it first time 10 years ago. I was absolutely horrified at what I had forgotten - whole subplots and characters; and I don't mean I forgot but then recalled it when I saw it again; I mean it was like watching some parts for the very first time. I had formed no memory whatsoever of some things first time around. Huge black holes.

I can only think that it was because "just one more episode" back then always came with "just one more glass of wine". Or probably two. Or three. By the time it was later and I was drunker, I wasn't forming lasting memories of what I watched, or anything else.

I'm getting older now, and looking after my memory and mental faculties is becoming more important. I can't let alcohol destroy them.

Really interesting and helpful reading everyone's experiences over the last couple of days. Sorry to hear of challenging times for some.

@lemonsaretheonlyfruit I hope things with DD are calmer today. One thing that really struck me on the DJ thread was how many of us had DC with either MH challenges and/or some degree of neurodiversity. My eldest DS has ASD/ADHD and whilst currently well managed, he has had some difficult times in the past and I never quite stop worrying about him. Without wishing to use it as an excuse, there is definitely some correlation between those worries and my alcohol consumption. Sending calm vibes and positivity to everyone having to deal with these kind of parenting situations

Still dry here, mainly because like several on here I am worried I might not be able to moderate effectively once I start drinking wine again. I might give some of the Fever Tree tonics a go. Are there any in particular that people would recommend? I haven't tried any alcohol free alternatives so far, mainly because I only drink white wine and haven't heard of any AF white that's any good. But it would be nice to find a sparkly flavoured AF drink that isn't diet coke. I drink too much diet coke (which I know isn't ideal though have no plans to cut it out) but if I drink it too late into the evening it affects my sleep. I'm enjoying hot chocolate as an evening comfort drink but would be nice to find something that would work well as a chilled drink once weather gets warmer.