February alcohol free/moderation thread - graduates and flunkies of Dry Jan 2023, new members welcome!

[MeinKraft]

Dry January has come to an end (sooner for some of us than others ) but the alcohol free fun doesn't have to stop there!

Whether you're wanting to extend your drought, moderate your drinking on an ongoing basis or are thinking of going dry for Lent and want to prepare why not join us to discuss all things alcohol free!

@lemonsaretheonlyfruit - think I need to listen to that podcast pronto !!

@buzzofthebumblebee

I echo exactly what you have just said. I also feel scared - DJ and the DJ thread from which this one emanated has felt like such a safe place and I'm not sure I am ready to leave it behind yet. I have decided on another dry week post 1st Feb and see how I feel in a week. I don't trust myself not to gulp an entire bottle down in my first foray back into it and then be on that slippery slope.

I don't have any advice other than yes - if you have time today listen to the first 2 episodes of this podcast. The 2nd episode (currently listening as I work) is also really good. They have the author of Drink? On here (who is a doctor and wine bar owner!) on here and it's really interesting / eye opening. Good luck with whatever you decide.

DH and I are going to our nearest city on Saturday as he has had a small pension payout and we are planning to spunk it all treat ourselves. We had made plans to catch the train rather than lug my gas guzzler there and then struggle to park it, then go out for dinner while we're there. Inevitably this will involve a drink and I'm also really unsure how I feel about it.

This is the oddest feeling as by now I would literally be champing at the bit to have a drink. I'm very tempted to just drive to remove the angst!

On a brighter note, the postman has delivered two parcels today. One contains some beautiful perfume samples and one contains my favourite posh candles, both bought with my DJ savings. I've also booked two holidays (not with my savings I should add, I didn't drink that much 😆) which was a far more enjoyable and stress free process than it would have been previously. It's my last night shift tonight and I've got plans to go fossil hunting tomorrow, again something I wouldn't have usually had the get up and go to plan in advance.

Ah, dampness and moderation. 😞
Last night DH said to me 'Yay! It's February now, I'll put a nice bottle of wine in the fridge for us!' whilst brandishing a lovely looking bottle of pink fizz. I said 'not till Friday', but it looked so good and was so tempting. I resisted but it was hard!

I think it's a challenge to moderate, because if you're allowing yourself to drink at all, then saying yes at any point is always a possibilty and much easier; whereas during dry times you know the answer should always be no. I'm in danger of drinking on Thursday instead of Saturday, but then drinking on Saturday, too.

As I said before, dryness can be easier than moderation... at least it is for me, at any rate.

I'll keep posting on here to keep me on the straight and narrow!

@HPLikecraft I agree about dry being easier than moderation (though not something I actually want to do long term I don't think. That's why I was so impressed by what @Fuwari achieved in Jan. I just don't think I could have maintained that discipline after a couple of drinks. Go @Fuwari for feb!

Thanks for replies and reassurances. Much appreciated. Agreed HP. I too am all-or-nothing. So moderation in any shape or form is harder than outright denial. Hence DJ is annual for me ; ) Enjoy your pink fizz when you do have some.

Will def listen now lemon. Will try and make dent in ironing basket as I do. Kill 2 birds and all that.

Your DJ savings treats sound lovely Champagne. I have sponsored myself (my chosen charity) for a half marathon I signed up for. Plus a few other bits (I saved quite a bit !!!).

So the sentia - I really like it but not neat - either with orange juice or the fever tree seville organic tonic water - it does relax me and don't feel any after effects - only ever want one

I think we are all best placed to decide for ourselves whether or not we can do moderation - some of us will be able to, others won't. It's all about taking on board what a dry month has taught us, especially if it's our first.

I just don't think I could have maintained that discipline after a couple of drinks

Ah, so much this @lemonsaretheonlyfruit . My biggest booze problem was not being unable to stop once I started, rather than the frequency (though the frequency was bad at times). Hence my repeated cycles of dry, damp, damper, wet, dry again. That said, each cycle is drier overall than the last, so the trend is always downwards!

Hi I did the full DJ but did have a glass of wine last night as I was away at a work dinner. I had an AF beer before so just one glass with dinner. To be honest I didn't enjoy it that much and I wasn't tempted to have another. I'm having nothing tonight, but will see how I feel tomorrow.

@lemonsaretheonlyfruit @buzzofthebumblebee @HPLikecraft I completely get what you are saying. I also find total dryness easier than moderation, and am scared that if I open a bottle of wine, before I know where I am it'll all be gone, and that'll be it - back to bad habits. I wish I was like my DSis who can just have one glass and then that's her for the week.

Tonight was a potential trigger point for me - DH and I have always 'let' ourselves have wine on a Thursday night (as opposed to Mondays/ Tuesdays/ Wednesdays when we tell ourselves that we're not drinking and mustn't have wine and then have wine anyway ) and I'm really pleased that I don't actually fancy having a drink. Tomorrow may be a different story though. I still have a bottle of my favourite wine chilling in the fridge from Christmas and I'm really proud I've managed to completely resist it for a whole month and two days now.

I think I'm going to take it one day at a time for the moment and see how I go. I never really got bad hangovers but would definitely wake up feeling dry mouthed and dehydrated after wine and I am really enjoying not feeling like that.

I also need to stop eating my bodyweight in chocolate and sweets but that's another thread

Thank you to the PP who recommended the Sort Your Sh*t Out Podcast. I've listened to the first one so far. The expert was talking about setting rules for yourself (just as we are all doing) - one of them was, "Don't drink at home alone." But I go out, maximum, twice a month and my club serves terrible wine - so that won't work for me!

Tomorrow we are going to BiL and SiL for dinner, with which I will have my first glass of real wine since NYEve. What if I don't like it anymore?! (22 bottles in the wine rack, Xmas leftovers boosted by Laithwaites delivery.)

Hello all. I didn't have a massive plan going forward but was thinking moderation in some form.

I've now drunk twice, one glass on 27 Jan and two on 31 Jan. I was pleased with the amount but not with the effect - it feels like I'm only just recovering from the 2 glasses now. So I stayed dry going out last night and will do again tonight when I'm out for cocktails and a show. It's helping that dp says he hasn't missed alcohol and is thinking about staying dry for good.

Considering I only did this to support dp's son, it may have been quite a major shift. But time will tell.

I feel there's been a shift for me too. I haven't drunk yet (doing 60 days) but as much as I used to love wine I'm remembering the dehydration and fuzziness and wondering if that's worth it. That's led me on to think about how much I've enjoyed Dry Jan, and if it's a choice between the two why not go for the option that's better for me?

Someone said on one of the earlier threads that they like the black and whiteness of dry January and that really resonated with me at the time. This has been my first DJ after years of drinking practically every day and the longest I've gone without a drink since forever.

I've learnt I can be disciplined about a goal if I put my mind to it, I've proved I can indeed survive without alcohol, and I've also found the support and accountability of these threads essential. I do still miss wine very very much and I'm nervous about falling off the wagon if I have a drink now, that is basically what's keeping me dry day to day now. Plus this thread.

Podcast was great - thank you again lemons.

I did end up enjoying a couple of glasses of fizz, but resisted a third. Feeling fuzzy today, even on that small amount. Oh well.

I was probably over-thinking it beforehand, but that in itself made me very mindful of need v desire for alcohol. I'm hoping going forward I save for nights out, rather than habitually drinking at home.

@buzzofthebumblebee

Well done. Restraint shown! Yes if I can conquer the drinking at home I don't think going out (with some restraint shown) would be an issue for me!

Going to carry on with this podcast I think. I don't normally listen to podcasts - but have listened to plenty of quit lit on audio. This is resonating as it's not about giving up completely.

Dinner with 5 friends tonight. All of whom will be drinking. This will be my first post DJ test. It would be so easy and normal to have a few glasses but I have enjoyed feeling so much more clear since not drinking I don't know if I want to.

Plus I don't want to break my streak - plus I have an agreement with a friend that we would carry on for the first week after we did dry jan. He is going to a ball tonight and not drinking so I really should keep up my side of the bargain.

Well done @buzzofthebumblebee! that sounds like a good achievement.

I’ve been mulling the moderation question over too and have decided I’d really like to aim for social drinking only. So out for dinner, or a drink with friends in a wine bar - fine. At a friend’s house or having friends at my house - fine (but will aim for one glass only, rather than having a glass with them and then carrying on for the rest of the night).

Lazy comfort wine drinking at home on the sofa watching telly, or at the kitchen island whilst I prep dinner or supervise homework, or in the garden on a summers evening - this I am going to try and cut out completely. I am far less likely to moderate when at home.

I don’t know how realistic this will be. But I absolutely share the fear of the slippery slope if I start opening bottles of wine at home again so I am really hoping the above should be manageable.

@lemonsaretheonlyfruit sounds like you share my mindset as well. Good luck for your dinner out tonight!

Hi all, checking in from the DJ thread and have read through all your thoughts and deliberations on what to do next.

Me and my DP are still dry, with last drink being 31/12. We had planned for first drink to be this weekend, probably tonight. I'm not really looking forward to it as I thought I would be and feel oddly disappointed about that, as if I've lost something.

I am very pleased with all the benefits of being dry, mainly absence of hangovers meaning I can have more productive days, and absence of post-drinking shame/anxiety. I guess I'm worried about being unable to moderate then slipping back into all of those negative experiences.

I've also realised that during DJ I've been using toast and sweet stuff as a substitute for alcohol in dealing with stress. Most of my weekday drinking was on my own at home and about stress relief. So whilst upping the toast calories has not been ideal, it's probably better than regular weekday wine intake, plus more on weekends going out.

So if I'm going to apply some guidelines to myself, I suppose it would be no drinking alone at home, and no drinking Monday to Thursday. I do have to address the sweet stuff issue, but that's a future project.

Will give the podcast a listen if i can find it.

Happy weekend everyone

Hey @WTF99 I am totally relating to what you're saying! I was going to drink tonight as DS and his GF were coming to stay, but that's now been postponed. I was wondering if I should just not bother then... DH has put nice things in the fridge which I'll sure I'll enjoy if I do partake, but like you I've also got this niggling disappointment that I'm not looking forward to it fully: like it's something naughty or I don't deserve it!

Also, the toast! My god so much toast. Toast for breakfast and lunch! Ironically, I eat so much more healthily when I'm in a booze phase.

I rather give up social drinking than home drinking. Once February is done, I'm aiming for 1/2 bottle red of Friday and Saturday - and that's my 'the week is done' treat - even if it's just me present at the time...

Yes mainly social only for me I think - it's the bottle of wine in the fridge and the couple of glasses most nights which I want to get away from

@Stickywhitelovepiss I'm with you re the social drinking - I don't socialise much at all, and when I do I'm always driving, and for me the drink drive limit is 0.

I also have no trouble moderating at home. Going to have some really decent red wine tonight which I will enjoy and all will be well.

Checking in! Day 35 for me I think and deciding whether to have a wine tonight. Am serious about moderating so good that I know that actually I can take it or leave it rather than assuming it's a given for a Friday night.