Does anyone else’s MIL do this?

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My MIL makes conversations all about her. I’m so tired of it I just don’t bother talking much anymore which is a bit awkward.

If I say “oh dd is swimming without armbands now” I either get a download of how her other dgc progressed through swimming badges or another telling of the story that she never learned to swim.

A neighbour slipped and broke her wrist when she came home from hospital MiL just started going on about how slippery her patio is and how she fell and had to get husband to lift her up. Didn’t ask her anything about her wrist or hospital stay.

I expect in conversations a bit of give and take like maybe asking me about things I talk about so if a I say “oh it’s really sad friends Dad passed away this week.” Then “Oh no what happened are they okay?” Rather than launching into a monologue about how her health.

I don’t think she has a lot of company as her husband isn’t a talker and she doesn’t work much but I find it really strange she doesn’t really do 2 way conversations she just looks for an opportunity to talk about herself.

It’s really weird and I don’t know how to have a chat without her launching into a self obsessed monologue. I do ask her about herself of course but this is every point of conversation. I call it ‘competitive anecdotes.’

DH has noticed it but again she doesn’t really chat to him he’s not that talkative.

He's not that talkative because he's been brought up being absolutely steamrolled over by her non-stop monologues.

It's got nothing to do with her being a MIL. She's just one of those bloody people who never shut up about themselves.

She's gone her entire life not learning the social skill of having a genuinely empathetic conversation with another human being. She's not about to learn it now. Find a way to grit your teeth and get through interactions with her because it won't change.

How old is she? It’s quite common in older people. Especially if they live alone or with a non talker. MIL does this all the time and my Dad did too. I’ve also heard friends complain about it with older relatives.

Some people find small talk/chattimg very difficult, and can get into a habit of talking about what they know about best: themselves and their lives. Everyone does that to some extent, it's just extreme in some people. It doesn't mean they are a terrible person.

You can either accept it and deal with conversations as they are, or try and change her responses to you. So when you say something and she replies about herself, then you bring it right back "that's nice but I was actually talking about X....".
See what happens.

She’s in her 60’s. She’s fine with grandchildren as they literally don’t know what she’s talking about so she doesn’t bother, she’s very good with them.

But now most of the time I just stop myself chatting to her, my brother got stuck on the m6 last night it was closed for 4 hours. I was going to tell her today as small talk but I just don’t want the monologue of “oh that’s nothing I got stuck for…..”
or “that reminds me of the time I….”
sigh.
Just can’t be bothered!

I have a cousin who always turns any conversation to be about herself or her daughter. Every.Single.Time!
I don’t phone her because it’s all me, me, me. I could be phoning her about a family bereavement or something just as serious but it’s almost impossible to get a word in & potentially I could hang up & she’d never know what I was calling about.
It’s self centred and annoying. I find a visit to her absolutely draining and come away thinking “what the hell was that all about?” They never stop, breathe and think to say “enough about me, what about you?”
I love her but I avoid her now. There’s lots of people out there just the same. Avoid, avoid, avoid.

Tell her she should write a book and go put the kettle back on. Cut her chatter. My ex mil's favourite topic was her bowels...
I used to suggest putting the TV on(to fil's delight) and try zone onto a quiz instead!! Fil also watched the quiz and we used to just nod a bit to mil!! Dh got most of her chatter all to himself!!

Op my lovely mil is like this. I see it a lot in people her age. She's 70's.

We had to tell her bad news about my dd health once. We went round to break it to her and told her dd's diagnosis. She replied along these lines "omg you know Gail, who's daughter owned the chippy, lived in the house with the cladding that looked green....she had that!" Then waggled on about her gout for twenty minutes.

It's defo an age thing. I don't let it get to me because I know she's a lovely person and cares about us.

Yes this is my mil 100%. You cant tell her any updates about your own life without it turning into her telling you a story thats vaguely connected to what you said, either about herself or sometimes about her own friends (people that dh and i don't know). And she will just talk AT you about it for 20mins!!!!!
Its extremely infuriating but i am kinda used to it now, and we dont really have much to do with her so its not like i have to deal with it very frequently.

My dad does this I know what you mean, it makes you not want to bother saying anything as they’ll just go on and on.

I can 100% relate OP, in the early years I used to think DH was really rude as we could be at his mums for a couple of hours and he'd barely speak 2 words.....however....eventually this became me!!. I could spend 30 mins on my phone and she wouldnt come up for breath. SIL is the same as MIL so poor DH stood no chance in his childhood 🤣🤣🤣

My Dad does this too. I don't think he's asked how I am (or husband and kids) for 15 yrs.
DH is close with his parents and doesn't understand why I don't call him more often but I can face the monologue. During the pandemic it was all about Covid, the smallest thing and he could bring the conversation back to death rates etc. these days it's back to a litany about dead people I don't know from my home town... wrecks my head.
Every so often I interject with a "well enough about me, how are you doing?" And it doesn't even register 😂

Better than my Mil. She either dosent answer or answers one worded answers. Really strange

Some people can’t do two way conversation.

I’m ND and I constantly refer things back to my own experiences because in my mind it’s relates to the conversation and it gives me a way to connect/sympathise etc where as others find it rude and because of this I have to really, really focus to listen to people, not interrupt them and try to remember the right social cues but then my mind goes blank/wanders and I either seem suddenly withdrawn or completely disinterested!

I’m not suggesting your MIL is ND bye, just throwing a different perspective out there!

Yes, but it's a particular type of personality thing rather than a MIL thing. Obviously some of those people are MiLs!

As it happens my MIL is terrible for it too and I have also stopped sharing anything that will upset me to get a rude response.

it makes me so cross when when the kids get it from her though. They'll say something like (and this one did actually happen) "grandma, I won the race at school, look at my medal".and she'll say "Oh I used to very good at running when I was your age, you obviously got it from me. I loved running and remember when xyz blah blah" and launch into something about herself without actually acknowleding what they said.

My MIL does this too, but she is quite a bit older. I think she just loves to talk when people are around as she is lonely. It's kind of become a joke with DH and I. We stayed at a hotel last weekend and before we told her her told me word for word what her story would be about that particular hotel.

I agree it can be draining. Our DC are older and aren't interested in any of their grandparents as all they do is monologue, ask about them for 2 seconds then waffle a load of crap instead of actually listening to them

95% of the population are only interested in themselves. They are losing out. Being interested in other people and their lives is a great way of making friends and still works for me at 80. I do sympathise with you, O P, and suggest you have zilch expectations of you MIl and keep interactions to the minimum. Good luck

My MIL does this too and I've only just realised it after reading your post. She's in her 50s though so quite young! The comparison to other GC (and the endless vids and picts of them that follows) when I mention something my child has done boils my blood.

Do we have the same MIL OP?! Drives me mad. Mention DD got a certificate at school and then in response receive monologue on how her neighbour’s cousin’s step-daughter’s school give out certificates on Friday mornings instead of Friday afternoon or other such non-news. I could always deal with it when it related to me because I’ve never been under any illusions she was the slightest bit interested in me, but when it relates to her DGC it does surprise me and now DD is getting a bit older I see how she doesn’t actually ever tell her anything which is such a shame.

All my family will sort of have a normal conversation, be curious ask a few questions maybe end in a joke etc. “oh you’re looking well,” “thanks I just got a new blusher… I used today.” “Oh which one is it?” Etc etc!

With mil “oh I’ve got a new blusher”
”oh I can’t wear make up, it just comes off so there’s no point, in fact it makes me itchy blah blah blah.”
ok then.

As I say she doesn’t do it with grandchildren but if I’m in the room she will ignore them to monologue to me but I mostly get on with other stuff now!

Glad I’m not alone!

I actually think it makes her fall out with ppl because you feel like you’re having an argument.
”oh well this blusher has been fine for me, no itching it stays on.”
“well I just know I couldnt wear it even if I wanted to”
”have you tried any hypoallergenic make up?”
”believe me I’ve tried them all.”
”ok then”’🤷🏻‍♀️

I has a MIL like this . I thought it was either a jealousy thing or just trying to stay relevant. When my SIL and I were pregnant , all we heard about was when she was pregnant. As it was over 35 years ago and she wasn't even one of our mothers , we couldn't be less interested. She rarely asked about us or our plans . Also relegated everyone with minute details of her holidays , what she ate, what time , names of streets , almost in real time . One of the most tedious boring people I ever met . Long dead now but no fond memories at all.

My MIL sort of does this but she fires rapid-fire questions at you, stops listening after the first word of your answer then monologues as much criticissm as she can think of between rapid firing other critical questions so she has more ammo for gossip. If you listen to FIL she'll cut through him to ask something else to get the attention back on her. And nothing is private (or accurate). It's like she thinks she's a journo or something. But all the time.

What the hell does it have to do with being a MIL, though? A mother, sister, cousin, friend….and even male people can be tiresome in this way.

Well nothing it’s just in this case it’s my mil. If it was my sister I’d say ‘does anyone else’s sister do this.’ Doesn’t really matter the relation does it?