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Original poster

Friends who do drugs

69 replies

Shakeyourtailfeather · 25/01/2023 11:21

Needs some opinions. Made some new school mum friends. Been friends for a year. Seem nice, happy to do favours and welcoming eg. Me and DS can come over for tea whenever, days out. They are nice people.

However the only thing I'm wary of which I've found out recently is that they do drugs. So about 4 mums of a group of 9 do drugs. I'm torn because the job I specifically want to do is working with vunerable young people and therefore I don't want to be tainted with hanging around with people who do drugs. Do you think I should back away from the friendships? It's sad because they are nice however I'm not sure I can see a way to continue the friendship

OP posts:
IDontCareMatthew · 25/01/2023 11:21

Back away, no good comes from drugs

What drugs are they using?

Original poster
Shakeyourtailfeather · 25/01/2023 12:08

IDontCareMatthew · 25/01/2023 11:21

Back away, no good comes from drugs

What drugs are they using?

Well what I know they have taken from them saying is coke, mdma, speed

OP posts:
heartbeatacrossthegrass · 25/01/2023 12:15

I doubt they're doing drugs regularly or around their kids. But if it bothers you then yes you should back away.

IDontCareMatthew · 25/01/2023 12:16

You doubt it's regular or around their kids!??

How naive!

7Worfs · 25/01/2023 12:19

Personally I wouldn’t be able to stay friends with druggies. And I’d be concerned about their children.

MrNook · 25/01/2023 12:21

heartbeatacrossthegrass · 25/01/2023 12:15

I doubt they're doing drugs regularly or around their kids. But if it bothers you then yes you should back away.

How do you know that?

Original poster
Shakeyourtailfeather · 25/01/2023 12:21

heartbeatacrossthegrass · 25/01/2023 12:15

I doubt they're doing drugs regularly or around their kids. But if it bothers you then yes you should back away.

I know one of the mum and her husband do them while the kids are asleep upstairs. Which I personally disagree with. I'm not particularly close with this mum however

OP posts:
Eixample · 25/01/2023 12:22

Could you meet them for coffee or in other situations where it’s not likely to be an issue? It might give you longer to decide whether you want to continue the friendship or to make better friends with the non-drug-users

Yamaya · 25/01/2023 12:23

As long as they weren't doing it around me or talking about it all the time (or you thought children were being put at risk) I would just mind my own business and pretend I didn't know anything. If they go on about it all the time to you after you express you're not interested I would avoid them.

mindutopia · 25/01/2023 12:27

I honestly would have no idea if any of my friends do drugs. I mean, they don't obviously. But unless someone reeks of weed or is off to the loo every 10 minutes to snort coke when I come over for a cup of tea, I honestly couldn't care if they are nice, otherwise drama-free people, and I say this as someone who definitely doesn't do any drugs.

Mirroredlove · 25/01/2023 12:33

As long as they wasn’t doing it around me or trying to get me to try it I wouldn’t have a problem with this. People have different lifestyles, opinions and make different choices to us, doesn’t mean you can’t be friends, society is more to tolerable to people who make different choices, we’re not robots.

As long as they’re nice why not be their friend, it has no impact on you that they do drugs.

heartbeatacrossthegrass · 25/01/2023 12:38

I don't "know" that, but if someone you see regularly is doing drugs around their kids regularly, you'd know. I'm not naive either. I'm a former recreational drug user who is now clean. I have friends who still go out clubbing and do drugs away from their kids. I've chosen not to do that myself. So DFOD Halo

Sunriseinwonderland · 25/01/2023 12:45

I don't hang out with people who take drugs because they are not nice people. They are trouble.
They should be ashamed of themselves doing this with young children at home.
If you get involved with these people you will get into trouble and it will affect your whole life.
What kind of people hang out with drug dealers?
I'd ditch them right now and get some better friends, they are low life.

Original poster
Shakeyourtailfeather · 25/01/2023 12:47

Sunriseinwonderland · 25/01/2023 12:45

I don't hang out with people who take drugs because they are not nice people. They are trouble.
They should be ashamed of themselves doing this with young children at home.
If you get involved with these people you will get into trouble and it will affect your whole life.
What kind of people hang out with drug dealers?
I'd ditch them right now and get some better friends, they are low life.

They aren't drug dealers. Funny enough these people are middle class well off people with great jobs. If they had not of told me then I wouldn't have guessed

OP posts:
SmileWithADimple · 25/01/2023 12:51

I have a couple of friends that I think do drugs (cocaine) occasionally, eg at a party / night out. It's never been a problem, I have never seen them do it, just heard about it from someone else. They're not close friends though - it would put me off getting closer.

SmileWithADimple · 25/01/2023 12:51

Yes, these are the same kind of middle class people that you describe.

IDontCareMatthew · 25/01/2023 12:52

Nah I won't 'DFOD' at all

If they are on speed then it will be affecting kids....come down if nothing else

mummysquasher · 25/01/2023 12:57

Read up on county lines. They may not be dealers themselves but they are participating in a trade that causes misery here and overseas

www.childrenssociety.org.uk/what-we-do/our-work/child-criminal-exploitation-and-county-lines/what-is-county-lines

LCforlife · 25/01/2023 13:00

Ignore the Mumsnet hysteria about drugs OP and think about what you're comfortable with.

If you want to keep hanging out with them then could you stick with play dates and coffee.

Or, could you have a quiet word with a mum you trust and say that you'd rather not be out or at parties if people are using drugs.

I think you're right to protect yourself if you're looking to go into a job where this would be a no-no like police or social work for example.

It's not necessarily guilt by association but you do need to be careful about not getting embroiled in tricky stuff.

Obviously, if you have any concerns drugs are being taken around children or behaviour is placing children or vulnerable adults at risk then you should raise this.

There is a difference between doing some MDMA when kids are at grandmas for the weekend and doing lines on the coffee table when the kids are around.

GrazingSheep · 25/01/2023 13:01

I’d stop seeing them.
They are supporting crime lords.

willowstar · 25/01/2023 13:03

I can't respect people with great lives and jobs who take drugs. I abhor the whole system and the exploitation of children that goes in to supplying them with the drugs. I have sympathy for people with darker histories of abuse and hardship, but the middle class wealthy lot you describe just repel me. I know some people like it, they are well off, high level jobs and completely boring to be around when they are tanked up. I avoid them and want nothing to do with them.

AffIt · 25/01/2023 13:13

willowstar · 25/01/2023 13:03

I can't respect people with great lives and jobs who take drugs. I abhor the whole system and the exploitation of children that goes in to supplying them with the drugs. I have sympathy for people with darker histories of abuse and hardship, but the middle class wealthy lot you describe just repel me. I know some people like it, they are well off, high level jobs and completely boring to be around when they are tanked up. I avoid them and want nothing to do with them.

Completely agree.

I literally couldn't give a shit about Tabitha or Gus shoving stuff up their noses and whatever effect it may have on them, but I do care about the nameless and faceless people caught up in the trade supplying their 'recreational' middle class jollies and for that reason alone, I choose not to associate with people who take drugs.

Tessasanderson · 25/01/2023 13:15

You would be shocked at how many 'normal' people take coke. I have had plenty of work nights out and seen collegues taking it.

Personally i dont want anything to do with people who take drugs so its a big no from me and i would make it clear why. Near my kids, not a hope in hell.

Greatly · 25/01/2023 13:21

I couldn't believe how many of my dhs old school friends still regularly do coke in their 50s. We have stopped seeing them. It's repulsive. I'm a bit older and I just think it's pathetic. These are well off middle class parents with good jobs.

Greatly · 25/01/2023 13:22

willowstar · 25/01/2023 13:03

I can't respect people with great lives and jobs who take drugs. I abhor the whole system and the exploitation of children that goes in to supplying them with the drugs. I have sympathy for people with darker histories of abuse and hardship, but the middle class wealthy lot you describe just repel me. I know some people like it, they are well off, high level jobs and completely boring to be around when they are tanked up. I avoid them and want nothing to do with them.

I agree