What are "cultured families"?

[Explodingatomickittens]

Met a school mum for coffee this morning. We got talking about the dc's friendships & the other mum said "I love when (her dd) goes to X's house, they're such a cultured family"... I don't know the family well enough to know their lifestyle & find the "cultured" mum pretty stand offish.. But in general what is a cultured family?

A family that has been created in a Petri dish?

@VenusClapTrap your guess is as good as mine😅

Bit yoghurty?

They probably have a grand piano and eat aroud the dinner table and read lots of books and speak several languages

How rude of her to say that! I had a friend say to me once ‘Sam loves going to Billy’s house because it’s so big and they can play in the hay barns…’ - well sorreee for not having hay barns when your kid comes to our tiny hovel! Why would you even say that?

So ‘cultured’ means whatever it means in her head. Theatre? Well read? Nice interiors with classy original art?

I would have asked "oh are they dairy farmers?"

That's what I thought! I always enjoyed having her dd over, my dc have great fun with her. But now our playdates never be as valued as "cultured families" 😂

I would say a cultured family would go to lots of museums and arty places, have sculptures around the house and discuss prominent political issues and news over dinner.

our house isn’t a bit like this 😂 we discuss roblox, homework, which boy may have looked at dd1 in high school today

The dad comes home from work, immediately pours himself a Singapore sling and they all talk about their Airbnb in Tuscany.

The pictures on their walls aren’t from IKEA?

🤷‍♀️

People who are well travelled, with a wide range of interests?

It's not throwing shade on you for being 'uncultured' that's a rather self defeating spin on it.
Maybe they are a family who like museums, art, theatre and such like - they probably also like Roblox, gaming and general chit chat too.
Maybe it's just a polite way of your friend noticing there's something about this family that's different to hers. From the conversation she obviously thinks you and her are more alike although she's happy for the child to experience difference set ups.

But @Explodingatomickittens, when this woman is talking about play dates at your house she’ll probably say something equally complimentary. “I love it when DD goes to EAK’s house - she always comes back saying how much fun she had!”

🤷🏽‍♀️

Oooh oooh my son was made in a Petri dish! Does that mean he's cultured?!

Undoubtedly.

And in this context ‘cultured’ must surely mean ‘interested and engaged in intellectual and aesthetic areas of life that my own family don’t generally pay much attention to, but are not averse to learning a little more about’.

@Beamur possibly. It wasn't said in a nasty way at all. It just piqued my interest. I'd never refer to a family as cultured maybe interesting but not cultured!

Rich, old money.

No bling on show.

Exactly- the mum is saying that SHE isn’t ‘cultured’.

I don’t understand why OP is taking it as a personal slight.

FWIW- I come from a family where the only books we had were Martine McCutcheon’s autobiography and the Argos catalogue. We were not a cultured family. 😂

Exactly this.
I would see cultured as well travelled, well read not narrow minded

Fair enough. It sounds like your friend is the kind of person to say something in a complimentary way.
I'd think of cultured as maybe being educated to a higher level, working in jobs that require intellectual acumen, interested in lots of things but perhaps especially arts based. With a home that reflects those interests - lots of books, games, hobbies going on. Music and/or travel interests?

Came to say yogurt, but I’m very late with the dairy jokes. 🙁

Agree that it’s not a slight to OP - it’s likely their house makes it obvious they like classical art, literature, music.

Agree.

im surprised at how many people automatically imagine it’s an attack in the OP or a way to let her know she doesn’t quite measure up to them….

Fwiw being ‘cultured’ as per the various definitions on this thread isn’t something bad…

We are a cultured family but kids don't like coming to our house because I always moan at them to stop bashing the piano.

I had a friend say to me once ‘Sam loves going to Billy’s house because it’s so big and they can play in the hay barns…’ - well sorreee for not having hay barns when your kid comes to our tiny hovel!

I don't think saying someone loves one thing immediately means they are looking down their nose at something else.

I loved going to see ballet at the Coliseum, it doesn't mean I'm sneering at someone who went to see the live broadcast at the cinema.

There was a quiz a while ago on the BBC website or somewhere that was trying work out what 'class' you were and one of the sections was about culture. Someone upthread has said rich/old money and I think that is sometimes true - families who go to museums and the theatre etc often are from that sort of background - but sociologically speaking it is a separate thing. My parents had very little money (for various reasons) and we lived in council housing which they then did later manage to buy, so to all intents and purposes I grew up on a council estate. Both parents were from very working class backgrounds but had passed the 11+ and went to grammar school then onto University and worked in professional jobs. DM did English and social studies and knew loads about Shakespeare, poetry, art, etc and always prioritised taking us to the theatre, museums, we had music lessons, she taught us French etc. DF knew loads about history and classics and was very into cricket. Our house was mildly chaotic and we did not have foreign holidays, we had an old banger of a car, all our clothes were second hand etc but we had literally hundreds (probably thousands) of books and it was generally a very 'cultured' household. It is possible for a family to be very cultured in that sense but not to be well off or even snobby.