What are "cultured families"?

[Explodingatomickittens]

Met a school mum for coffee this morning. We got talking about the dc's friendships & the other mum said "I love when (her dd) goes to X's house, they're such a cultured family"... I don't know the family well enough to know their lifestyle & find the "cultured" mum pretty stand offish.. But in general what is a cultured family?

I don't think it answers your question OP but this thread reminded me of this Pride and Prejudice quote which I shall randomly dump here:
"“Then,” observed Elizabeth, “you must comprehend a great deal in your idea of an accomplished woman.”
“Yes, I do comprehend a great deal in it.”
“Oh! certainly,” cried his faithful assistant, “no one can be really esteemed accomplished who does not greatly surpass what is usually met with.
A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, all the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half deserved.”
“All this she must possess,” added Darcy, “and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.”
“I am no longer surprised at your knowing only six accomplished women.
I rather wonder now at your knowing any.”

Applauds the purple quote dump.

I guess to me it means depth.

Knowledgeable cross referencing...

@evtheria 🤣🤣🤣

We'd meet quite a few of the varied descriptions of "a cultured family" in this thread (not going to describe as I'd sound horrid). But the irony of the OP's friend is that none of this has any impact on playdates in our house. They're still playing on the switch, making a fort out of our sofa cushions and eating sweets.

@evtheria love this, tbh my ‘circles’ are very much family A you could have described my older sister and BIL! They’re lovely work hard and the kids are deliriously happy and there’s very little pressure on them except to do Ok at school, go to bed nicely and behave reasonably in public and always say please and thank you

family b might be much more mumsnet but the kids are probably miserable and despite doing well academically probably struggle in other ways

@evtheria funniest thing on Mumsnet.

It’s been said of us. Not intended as a gibe, or a comment on social class, I assume to do with a house full of books and paintings, both parents in academia in humanities, and go to the theatre/galleries a lot.

I was trying to think whether I would describe someone’s household as ‘cultured’, and I think it covers a lot of ground — one friend’s house where her DH is an artist, she’s a traditional musician, both children also play trad instruments, and the house is always full of people having music lessons and lumping canvases, or a friend of a friend whose family have been described to me as a ‘strings family’, where everyone is intensely musical and impromptu concerts start at parties, and someone is trying out for the Hallé.

Maybe they had Radio 4 blasting out of their very tasteful speakers when she went to pick up her child?

Radio 4 listeners do not “blast”.

But radio 2 listeners do...

I would think the person who said it was a bit weird.

I would not assume anything about the supposedly "cultured" family - it's such an odd thing to say.

I spoke in jest...

But truth to tell I frequently blast the local version of Radio 4. I do it in the car too, with the sunroof rolled back.

Not sweary and shouty (like mine)

Just tonight I had my family round in on my when I spoke about the ils, apparently they’re fed up of seeing/hearing about the academic awards they’ve won/ languages they speak/ sports they’ve won at/plays they’ve gone to see. We don’t go on about them, their stuff just comes in on WhatsApp and we mention it. I’d assume that’s cultured- theatre, speaking different languages etc. I do love the yoghurt thing though;)

I’d expect it to mean well-travelled and well-read people who enjoy the arts.

DS used to have a girlfriend that I would put in that category. Parents both academics, house was messy and cluttered with books everywhere. They had a piano and intelligent conversations around the dinner table. Their holidays were to random non tourist destinations in far flung lands I’d never heard of.

DS dated her when he was 15/16, I still credit them for him getting unexpectedly great GCSE results, they had quite an influence on him.

Sadly, we’re not what I would call cultured, his A-Levels weren’t as good and she’s now a doctor.

I'd assume rich.

It's not about being rich.
It's about being well read, going to the theatre, opera, literary and film festivals, being knowledgeable about many aspects of life - politics, philosophy, religion, history- and holding well-rounded opinions. Well educated

I would not assume anything about the supposedly "cultured" family - it's such an odd thing to say.

This.

Where DH grew up it would due to rampant inverse snobbery be an insult.

Last place we lived - it would single you out to be used by social climbers - it was a socially deprived area with a better bit in and some mother's in better bit were very cliquey and had an attitude and would befriend people to exploit them.

I suspect here it just means the house was full of perceived middle class signifiers - but it would depend on context.

Honestly - my IL have travel the globe - and the UK they've been to many plays. art galleries and historical sites - a frankly unbelievable amount - they come with us friend and many coach trips. They've had 30+ years of childfree and mortgage free years and they spend their money of travel and trips. No-one would describe them as cultured - their strong regional ascents and their working class jobs would I think prevent that.

That's why I think is a social economic comment - and depending on context may not be complimentary.

Just don't worry about it OP. It is interesting for children to go somewhere unusual for them. That could be "cultured" or someone comes from a different ethnic background or is highly sporty and goes out to matches all weekend or has young orphan lambs in front of the fire. Or enjoys supper round the TV. Or goes to church on Sunday, mosque on Friday, shul on Saturday. All grist to the mill and if kids are enjoying themselves and learning what's different, all good. They will comment to their parents - their parents will interpret it their own way.