What are "cultured families"?

[Explodingatomickittens]

Met a school mum for coffee this morning. We got talking about the dc's friendships & the other mum said "I love when (her dd) goes to X's house, they're such a cultured family"... I don't know the family well enough to know their lifestyle & find the "cultured" mum pretty stand offish.. But in general what is a cultured family?

It sounds like a positive observation not a dig. I know a family who I sometimes say are cultured, they are highly educated, widely read, spend a lot of time visiting art galleries and exhibitions, watch a lot of films etc, I admire them and if I say it to someone else I'm certainly not having a dig. I may also say something about someone having a lovely big house and garden without it being a dig at the person I'm speaking to.

im surprised at how many people automatically imagine it’s an attack in the OP or a way to let her know she doesn’t quite measure up to them….

It's MN (and life in general these days) - it's like people are looking to be offended.

Thanks for the replies, it's an interesting description of a family.. I guess I would describe some families as "active", "sporty" or "outdoorsy", cultured is a new description to me!

God I wouldn’t even give this offhand comments a second thought

@DNBU I'm more interested in what a cultured family actually is?!

I've been described as cultured by various people, I take it as a big compliment. I was bought up in a council house just to be clear, I have independently travelled the world in my younger years, i take a vested interest in politics and am well read, I paint and write amongst other things. My home is full of book and records. It's not about being posh or rich at all imo.

We’re sometimes worried at having other children over at ours in case they think we’re making a point by doing so.

We’ve a very nice house, cars, and some staff, which is not the norm at our boy’s school.

I’d never want someone to feel that we made any sort of moral judgement based on wealth or income.

I think the other mum said this because she felt comfortable around OP, she likely would never say it to the other parents themselves.

I assume the child has come back home saying the family has lots of books, or noticed they talk a lot about travel/history/art during dinner..? Or they have a piano in the house, that would do it for me hahah.

Well, what are not cultured families, IMO, are those where books are regarded as ‘clutter’ - as I’ve seen them described on here.

To me it means that the whole family is into something, and so it stands out, as opposed to each family member having different interests, and therefore wouldn't be classified as a "xxx family ".
So a sporty family will be one that does one or more types of sport together and tends to prioritise this over other activities.
To me a "cultured family" is one where (generally) both parents enjoy and are knowledgeable and interested about a certain culture, whether it be literature, art, history, traditions, music etc and this is part of everyday life.
My husband and I have very different interests so I don't think anyone could easily classify us as a type of family.

My initial reaction is that it's someone who has travelled and has a good knowledge and acceptance of other cultures.

Does he have a twirly moustache and a top hat? If not, he does not qualify for Cultured status. That's the rules.

And I think that being cultured about art, literature and classical music, while obviously a positive description, is not better than being knowledgeable in different areas, be that science, technology, politics, language agriculture etc.
Some people particularly enjoy a certain type of knowledge, but in a peaceful society there shouldn't be a hierarchy.

I would guess 'cultured' in this context means there are books and art and possibly musical instruments in the house, and either there is no TV or games console, or that they are not central to the living area and visiting children are encouraged to do something that doesn't involve any technology.

It’s probably code for they have a lot of dosh ££££££

Whatever it means to the person who said it?

This thread is dripping with spite and envy.

Not connected to money IME.

I grew up in what was considered a ‘cultured’ home. We were skint but I was exposed to a lot of art, music, antiques, galleries, travel, books, museums etc. My family was considered odd on our council estate. Life became easier when we moved and the bullying & sneering stopped.

They probably spend their evenings quoting Shakespeare to each other instead of a watching a huge TV.

It actually means nothing. Some people's idea of cultured could be having salad with your steak instead of chips, or having an expensive coffee maker. Some people are so incredibly basic anything seems cultured to them.

I reckon they:
Own a piano
Go to theatre etc
Have loads and loads of books

And they don't:
Watch loads of TV
Play loads of video games

I'm in the uncultured camp, but do have some cultured friends and have got lots of books.

Talk about current affairs
Everyone reads frequently
Go to art galleries and museums
Well-travelled

Is 'cultured' a PC term for 'not common'?

You know you can just Google the definition? It says someone with good manners, a good education and knowledgeable about the arts 🤷🏼‍♀️

I agree with pp it’s not about money. We own a piano, two guitars and a trumpet all off freecycle. My children excel at a variety of sports that are run by the greggs foundation (all free) because we live in such a deprived area. We practically live in museums, art galleries and libraries, again because they’re free. We’re definitely poor, wouldn’t say we’re cultured though 🤷🏼‍♀️

You’ve both completely missed the point….🙄

Why would one mother tell another (on a play date) how great the play dates are at some other person’s house? I don’t get it.

If they said ‘Lucy loves coming here - she has such fun with x, y, z’ that’s fine. But to say ‘Lucy loves going to A’s house because they are cultured/eat pizza/have elephants etc’ - what’s that all about?