Boys walking girls home

[listsandbudgets]

DD (17) has quite a big group of friends and I've noticed that when they meet up one or two of the boys usually walk the girls home.

So last night a large group were here and every time one of the girls was going a couple of boys - not always the same ones - would walk her back and then come back here afterwards. It was freezing and they must have walked miles. (Before anyone asks I can't drive so dropping them was not an option and DP wasn't here). I know if DD had been elsewhere they'd have walked her home too because it's happened before.

I found it rather nice. Is this still usual or does DD just have an unusually chivalrous group of male friends?

And at 17 she'd be driving herself home.

Lol what world do you live in.

Not many 17 year olds pass their test and can afford a car and the insurance etc at 17 when they’re in FT education.

But considering you think that everyone uses Ubers instead of walking, tells me you don’t live in the RL.

This would happen in my DSs friendship group too, I think it’s a thoughtful and kind thing of them to do and probably very much appreciated.

Sadly you would lose that wager. Women and girls are at higher risk from men they know than strangers. I didn’t want to be the one to bring the tone of this lovely thread down. But statistically those girls are more likely to be assaulted by one of those boys walking them home than a stranger. And that’s not me being a bitter old feminist banging on about toxic masculinity, it’s just true.

Me and my mates always used to do this when we were growing up, glad to see its still happening.

It wasn't always a completely selfless act of course. The chance to spend a bit of time one on one with the girl you fancied was always appreciated, and we generally knew which of our mates fancied who, so would give them the chance to be the chivalrous one before anyone else offered.

The protective circle while dancing was another one, it's a shame that 20 years later it's still needed to be honest

@ItsAnOrgasmNotAFabergeEgg that's an oft misused stat and as with all data, needs context. I wouldn't use it to convince a 17 year old girl to walk home alone late at night in favour of accepting an escort from some male friends and I think it's disingenuous for you to do so.

Women and girls limit their lives and their movements so much already (in ways we're probably not even conscious of) because of the threat of male violence. It's sad but nice that some men are stepping up to keep us saf(er).

My son (18) and friends did this. Not so much now as so many of the drive, but still the odd time. But even at that, they all seem to pick each other up and drop each other off places at all hours.

Has worried me a few times when the boys would walk the girls and then walk home alone. We lived someone pretty rough until 18 months ago, and he thought he was invincible, but his heart was always in the right place.

She paid for her own lessons and passed first time. She drives my MIL's old car and her father pays her insurance. As for Uber, all her friends, male and female, use the app late at night, they'd be stupid not to. And if I ever found my 14 son walking home late at night, for what ever reason, he'd get an earful from me.

ds was the same until his friend was jumped and badly hurt. He is reminded of it regularly by his friends scar on his forehead, that will hopefully fade over time. He now tries to make sure everyone, including himself gets home as safely as possible.

It is wrong your ds "doesn't mind", it has been conditioned in him because of social pressures and expectations to not mind, or even consider, that he is in fact being put in a vulnerable position when the right thing to do is for all (boys and girls) to plan so everyone gets home safely.

She paid for her own lessons and passed first time. She drives my MIL's old car and her father pays her insurance.

Your DD is very lucky but I’m sure you can understand that most 17 years don’t have her privilege.

My dd is 17 and it is the norm in her friendship group.

Around here I would be just as worried about a lone 16 year old boy out on the streets at night as I would a girl. Gang violence and muggings (usually targeting boys) are much more common than sexual offences against girls. Our kids tend to do a walking bus and go en masse.

Ah brings back memories of my first nights out in Uni when I asked a male friend would he "leave me home" which is what we said in Northern Ireland.
He was very confused as to what I meant

Yes, this happens in my DD’s friendship group too 😊 Her male friends are lovely.

Majority drive by 18 so most of the DDs friends would have driven them. By 17/18 they'd be driving selves. Or I would be picking up if booze on the menu

As a complete aside...I am 59 years old with 7 kids between 22-29. In all that time I have met only ONE woman who didn't drive. She did prior to an eye disease but was forced to stop. I can't get my head around the number of woman who don't drive . Of course it's normal if you don't need a car (city) but so many posters with (do drives, I don't ) ... how does that work when there's a car in the household ??

My son has done this and would still do it. It’s not a new thing and I remember male friends doing the same for me.

I agree with @Oblomov22 at the bottom of Page 1.

It is nice that your dd has chivalrous friends, but it seems the girls in the group need to sort themselves out and become more independent and organised.
I have dc in their 20s (so obviously not long since teens) but none of their groups of friends would be yo-yo-ing back and forth walking miles so various girls could all leave at different times and expect to be escorted. The girls need to learn to be independent and not have an expectation that various boys will constantly be on hand to escort them places.
None of my dc or their friends would want people to be left on their own to walk off into the night on their own. People share lifts or share taxis, or travel together on public transport or walk together. No-one expects others to be at their beck and call as personal security guards. It doesn't sound healthy at all to me.

It is normal but I worry about those boys. They often then have to walk home alone on their own and are at risk of being jumped or mugged.

Yeah my son and his friends have always done this. Even when they were preteens and in the estate, they would walk the girls to their doors before heading home.

Still the norm here too

It was usual when I was growing up late 90s. Glad to hear it's still happening

Thank you OP. My two DS’s are young at the moment, but I’ve made a mental note to speak to them about this as they get older.

C. 60% of young people 20-29 have a license. So lower for 17-19 year olds.

What lovely young men! Well done you Mums.

What do you mean? In all what time? Are you talking about the mums of your friends DC?

Yes, sadly there are significantly more attacks on teen/young adult men round here than teen/young adult women.
I suspect some of this is women are more likely not to walk home on their own.

But people of both sexes need to think about how they are getting home safely.