My daughter talks constantly and it's leaving me frazzled.

[Cluelessat33]

Please be gentle because I'm feeling incredibly delicate. However I know this will probably sound shit.

My 5 year old talks. Constantly. Incessantly. From the moment she wakes to the moment she goes to sleep. Non stop. And not only that, she struggles to moderate her volume. She is a vibrant, inquisitive, intelligent girl. Which I love. But I am also struggling to cope with it. Its feels like a constant bombardment of demands, questions, requests, wants etc from the minute we wake up. The questions come quicker than I can respond or even think of an answer. My brain feel like it's turning to mush from about 9am. And by the time we get to bed time my brain is so fried that I'm actually struggling to read a book to her because my head and eyes and mouth just don't seem to be working together any more.

How do I cope better and try and manage this without getting snappy or asking her not to ask so many questions. I don't want to stop her and quash her inquisitiveness. But neither can I continue to answer her questions about what the dog is saying 50 times a day, for example

I'm a single Mum, and she does have contact with her Dad. I'm feeling frazzled all around, but the constant questioning, demanding and shouting/loud talking is not helping how I'm feeling generally. Either that or I'm just not in a good position to cope with it. I don't know really.

Have you considered adoption? Just commenting for a friend... 🙃

My eldest was a late talker. Everyone said “be careful what you wish for” and I just thought SMUG GITS! 😂

Second child is a “narrator” and hasn’t stopped talking since he was 18 months? Fuck knows, my brain dribbled out years ago. He’s 11.

Im a single parent who is in no way whatsoever excited he’s off to boarding school soon. Not exited at all. Oh no. 😉

To the people who say she’ll grow out of it…WHEN the fuck?😄

Feel your pain, my youngest was exactly like this, it was exhausting and really demanding. When I think back I know I spoke constantly to him as a baby and it just continued, he started talking really early. I coped by finding things he found very absorbing and set up times for these activities, he calmed when doing these things. He loved movies and would flake out when watching one, I always noticed when he slept he rarely stirred. Must have been draining for him too! I'd probably put it all in place myself really but I wish now I'd introduced him to more things he found absorbing to help him self calm. He's an adult now and so smart and sharp, life and soul type!

I can totally empathise. I have 4 children and there are times when we're all together that I have all 4 of them talking to me at once, usually when I'm trying to do something - like cook or serve dinner. It's like a wall of noise surrounding you and can be over whelming.

Also my 8 year old is alot like your DD. She is suspected ASD/ADHD and she doesn't stop talking or randomly comes out with loud, often repetitive screams or noises - scares the crap out of me!!

@BertieBotts post had some really great advice like the Alexa etc.

My 8 year old loves film and TV, she gets completely engrossed in the stories - although this can sometimes come with more questions!

Have you considered playdates? I know the thought of a second 5 year old may not be appealing but they may keep each other busy for a while. And if your DD goes to a friend's for a playdate you can get a bit of free time.

Make the most of the time when your DD goes to bed to wind down - I usually end up siting and staring at the floor with (finally) uninteruptted thoughts! 😆

Lastly, I was really struggling a few years back and ended so overwhelmed I had zero patience for anything, including my kids being kids.
I went to my GP and ended up back on Sertraline and it's made a big difference Now when I get frazzled, I'm able to pause, take a breath and get into a positive patient mindset - mostly 🤦🏼‍♀️😆

If you really feel your struggling to wind down and relax, maybe chat to your doc just to be sure there's nothing underlying making things worse for you.

She doesn't need therapy. She needs other parents to agree that an incessantly chattering child is irritating as fuck

^ This, with knobs on.

Give it a rest and take your guilt shit elsewhere. Or maybe actually suggest something that might help

What a nasty post! I was always told I talked too much (probably still do) and have a daughter who is the same - I had an excellent relationship with my mother while I had her, and similarly with my daughter. Maybe your mother is enjoying the peace! The OP is looking for advice not criticism

I have one of these. Relentless is the word. It's lovely in many ways but the constant chatter means her listening skills are pretty poor...because she can't listen at the same time as talking....which is constant. I find I have to raise my voice and interrupt a lot, not ideal but nothing else works. She also talks in her sleep. She talks when she is tired, bored, even during swimming lessons when she is meant to be on her back looking at the ceiling, she has her neck bent talking to the teacher the whole time.

I have no advice, most of the strategies suggested don't work for us. No other concerns from school so it's just her personality. It's exhausting. Often DH and I sit in silence in the evenings just to recover from the word assault.

And just out of curiosity, I once counted how many questions she asked whilst we watched despicable me. Over 200!

I feel for you. Even before my son could talk be would babble endlessly. Once mistakenly left my phone on record while he slept. Found out he woke up and chatted to himself for over an hour. He started sentences at 18 months and hasn't stopped. It's exhausting and I have no useful advice. I sometimes move away. He can occasionally be quite when he is playing Lego or constructing train routes. But he is also Mr know it all (to be fair he knows a lot for a 4.5 year old. But just trains, Lego and space). There was a day I was so exhausted for several things and his incessant talk broke me and I broke down and cried. So do take yourself away if you need even for 5 minutes. And if you cry one day, remember you are not the only one. We love them but wow it can be draining

I set a timer when I was trying to work during the first lockdown. 26 seconds was the average time in between being interrupted with an inane question.

“Mummy loves you VERY much, but she’s just going to put on her noise-cancelling headphones and sit on the toilet for 5 minutes.”

“Sorry sweetheart, this is a tricky bit, so I really need to concentrate, so can you give me 5 minutes and then I can listen properly...”.

Explanation included making coffee, peeling a banana, just anything when I was at the point of wanting to scream “SHUT the FUCK UP!!!!!”

DC is 11, and will still chatter away about nothing very much at extreme length.

I am definitely getting payback, I can still remember my mum in the car after school on the 30 min car journey home saying "thinkbiglittleone, can you please just stop talking" it was almost an exhaustion we were very close and remained so.

But our DS is exactly the same mixed in with my DBS hyperactivity, so a very loud, chatty, Duracell bunny !!!!
He is very very well behaved, but just hyper, I'm hoping we just ride it out so no advice just solidarity,

My DS was like this. By the end of the day I felt like my brain had liquified and was running out my ears onto my shoulders! He was in constant motion as well.

He did grow out of it - eventually.

But yeah ...

He had several imaginary friends, so I used to suggest he went and talked to them. I also used to tune out then back in every so often and repeat words back to him - but he cottoned on to that trick pretty quickly.

When he was 16 he hardly spoke at all. So quiet! Now he's 21 and moderately chatty when I see him.

I was like this as a child and my DS is now.
It's relentless. He has ASD/ADHD. I am not diagnosed but considering it.

As the mother of a non verbal child, I say be glad she can talk like she does. I’d give anything for my child to speak even a few words

Your sad situation is completely separate to OP’s, so no need for that comment, although it always crops up.

Genuinely are there any personality traits which aren’t suggested to be ASD/ADHD on here?

Why do people say this shit? Oh your mother never calls you and doesn’t care if you fall off a building and die? Be glad you have a mother, mine is dead!

Would you genuinely be ok with it if you posted about how hard it was having a NV child and someone put ‘well my child can’t walk, be glad yours can?’

Exactly @Kanaloa my mum fucked off when I was a kid and I haven’t seen her in years, doesn’t mean I have to weigh in ‘be grateful you have a mum’ whenever a friend falls out with hers. My sad situation is irrelevant.

Sometimes she will say mummy, mummy. I will say yes, and you can see she's actually looking round for something to ask or say. She hadn't had anything in mind at the time and jyst said my name anyway.

OMG DS1 used to do this regularly and it drove me up the wall.

He would also stay awake for hours at night. I timed it once when he was supposed to be going to bed and I had given up and come downstairs, he was about four. He stood at the top stairgate saying "Mummy, mummy, mummy? Mummy, are you listening to me? Mummy! Mummy!" and I was ignoring him because he was supposed to be going to bed (and had been told several times to lie down and go to sleep) - I thought eventually he'll give up. He wasn't crying or distressed BTW. Well he continued for 25 minutes, until I broke first.

Just be grateful you had a mum to fuck off, some people lost their mum in childbirth!

It’s just so self centered. Like everyone should see their own difficulties through the lens of your own issues.

Agree too with how every behaviour on here seems to be put down to autism/ADHD. Any difficulties or challenges must certainly be down to one of them. It’s like you are either always happy with no challenges, difficulties, or problems, or you’re autistic. That’s it!

So a child (who has never been told to stop) talks too much. Lots of kids talk too much! And if you’ve never tried to talk to them about it how could they know it’s too much?

Wow. Maybe you should be grateful for what you have. How lucky are you not to have the mental exhaustion we do.