How on earth do I stop procrastinating and get the motivation to get things done????

[BasmatiBitch]

I have read countless articles, blog posts and videos explaining the myriad of tips and tricks on how to stop procrastinating, get organised and get my shit together. Armed with this knowledge has meant I'm now great at advising others on how to get their shit together but not actually implementing any of it myself.

I've tried planners, apps, phone reminders, post it notes, set regular time aside and a whole lotta other stuff which I can't even remember but it turns out I'm astoundingly good at ignoring alerts and reminders and continue napping, googling, bingeing on Netflix or [insert any other time wasting but enjoyable activity].

Droves of people have found the book Atomic Habits literally life changing. I read it eagerly, hoping this was going to be the answer to my problems but thought meh, nice but not for me.

I can't be bothered to to do anything - and when I do its a mad dash at the last minute because I have no choice and I have to. I have no motivation or the get up and go attitude that I so desperately need. I function in mu job and home life and get the basics done but all the other stuff which I'd like to be on top of but aren't is the stuff that gets pushed to the wayside.

Anyone else relate?

I write a daily list. I then decide which is my least desirable task, and do that first. It’s quite satisfying. I reward myself when the list is complete.

Well done on making progress yesterday 👏

I tend to get stuff done immediately, always (which can be annoying in itself as I can't relax until I've done stuff 😆)

I read something online once about this that really resonated with me. So if you have a task eg calling to book a service that you're putting off, procrastination not only puts it off, but also makes the task worse. So, say the task itself takes 10 minutes...but by procrastinating, you have the task, as well as the mental energy it takes up by thinking about it/dreading it. So although procrastination feels like you're just delaying a job, it's actually making it bigger than it is by letting it take up space in your head by thinking about it for days/weeks beforehand.

Not sure how well I'm explaining this, it's early 😆

Also, getting stuff ticked off feels good & is almost addictive, the more you do, the more you will want to do & the easier it will get.

I definitely agree that phones are the biggest distraction, so putting it away, or letting youraslf have it as a 'reward' for getting stuff done might help.

Good luck!

Another one coming from the adhd angle.

I don’t think procrastination is always a bad thing - I have a very busy brain that’s seems to be constantly in project planning mode. That’s great for projects (and shit for chores and errands).

In college if I started an essay straight away it was pedantic. But if I waited til the deadline was looming I could write brilliantly. I think it’s partly because a lot of the planning and connections were being done while I was “procrastinating”

I can sometimes hear snatches of this process because my brain is a noisy, chattery place. But it’s less helpful if I need to get up and hoover because I don’t need to plan, mentally nap the route or consider contingencies. And I use up the doing energy, thinking.

I have found it helpful (I say this tentatively because I am no one’s role model) to distinguish between things that require strategy and creativity (knock yourself out brain!) and things that need mindless action. For the latter I use a combination of distraction and Pavlovian conditioning. (I save certain podcasts for housework and listen to them at double speed so I don’t get a chance to think.) Also pre made decisions are a key - I don’t need to decide to do dishes or empty the bins- doing those things daily is a pre made decision.

That sounds like classic ADHD - it's a myth that ADHD means you can't focus on anything, it actually tends to mean you can't direct your attention. I used to go to the library, get my ten books out and I would then sit and read 3-4 of them in a row. I read all of the Harry Potters in one session when they were first released. I used to play the first Sims game for hours at a time.

I would say that I was fairly supported by my environment - primary schools in the 90s seemed to be arranged in a perfect way for me. Lots of "topic" and group discussion rather than sitting down rote learning. I never did learn my times tables, but got fast enough at mental arithmetic that I can do them fast enough and beat a tables test.

I really started seeing problems (with school work) at 14 when the demands of the environment started to outpace my coping mechanisms. The coursework that was meant to be planned and executed over weeks was a disaster. I did well in exams, so I just fell from straight top marks to mostly Bs at GCSE, so nobody was really alarmed though in hindsight I can pinpoint it down to year ten. But if you look at me earlier, although I was happy, the signs were there. In every photo my ponytail is falling out, one sock has fallen down, my skirt is always tucked into my pants, my outfits clash. I was never popular and didn't quite "fit in". I was clever but remember doing a quiz in a book about letter writing and taking it to show my mum because it tickled me so much - the quiz answer was something like "C. You put everything off for as long as humanly possible until there is a threat of some terrible consequence". We both agreed that was definitely me! I was socially young for my age. I played with dolls until 13. I was playing pretend until about 16. Always creative, always painting/drawing/imagining. Poor coordination - useless at sports, kept stabilisers on my bike and arm bands until 12, when I became too heavy for both. I wanted to wear bright blue jumpers with cats on while my peers were dressing as goths or in sport brands. My bedroom was a sea of paper, you could never see the floor.

Sorry for the long posts BTW! This is such classic ADHD too, you see it on any ADHD forum. No filter so go on and on and on at length, but nobody has the attention span to follow it I try to break up long posts on ADHD specific forums with bold, bullet points and emojis but it can come across a bit strangely if it's not the forum culture.

place marking

@BertieBotts that’s like looking in a mirror.

I don’t think I have ADHD but I have been going through a period of being constantly distracted. At the same time I haven’t been running regularly as I previously did. Going for a run really helps me burn off that excess mental energy.

I started with couch to 5k when my youngest started primary school - the podcast just tells you what to do and when to do it, and so if you just do it and don’t turn it off it’s easy not to get distracted while you do it and then afterwards I can concentrate a lot better.

But bad weather means I just haven’t done it that regularly recently. Must get back to it!

Eagerly reading. I think I will die with a long to do list from my 20s.

Ha! Yes! I did two part time degrees while working full time. I couldn't possibly sit down to study until the whole house was spotlessly clean (including deep cleaning the fridge and defrosting the freezer!)
I ended up with two half decent degrees and a very clean kitchen.

@BertieBotts you sound exactly like me as a teenager! Except with me it was the frilly dresses and kilt/sweater combinations that were around in the 80s but never really ‘hip’. I used to wander round the playground on my own, imagining role play scenarios and characters right down to play scripts. I remember being really embarrassed when one girl (who like me got top marks but seemed to have a much easier time socially, and was one of those for whom all the coursework planning advice actually worked) gleefully asked me why I was talking to myself.

Google executive dysfunction.

ADHD perhaps?

Identifying with a lot of the ADHD stuff here, although I’ve not been diagnosed. I also have the terrible habit of saying yes constantly and taking on more and more until I’m completely overwhelmed and just sort of seize up and can’t do anything at all.

I remember reading somewhere that procrastinators think that they'll do a thing when it's a better time. But that that time doesn't ever really come.

I have difficulty with keeping my house tidy (me and 3 other adhd people that live here). Doesn't help that I buy too much stuff. So I look up ways to help this if you have adhd tendencies. But it's all "don't be hard on yourself" etc etc. Well yes, that's true, it doesn't help my lack of self esteem to also slag myself off. But it still needs to be done!

Also, how much to excuse oneself because one can't help it? And how much to not just use it as an excuse to excuse oneself and not bother?

Who's great at researching and buying attractive organisers and storage and so on? Who's great at buying a diary and never using it or remembering it?

I frequently think of my future self being organised, together and on it. Like it's sone kind of developmental process like becoming an adult! When's it going to happen to me? I mean I'm 54 now!

@Mabelface - which meds work best for you?
I was diagnosed recently and hopefully starting meds next week - not sure which one the doc is going to suggest yet.

I'm on concerta xl 36mg. I started at 18mg for a week then upped the dose to what I'm on now. I'm one of the very lucky ones who doesn't need the dosage tweaking as this works brilliantly for me. Anxiety and ibs gone and I'm weaning off my ads.

Thanks for the reply @Mabelface - sounds like life is looking great, all the best with it all

Thank you. I'm the best version of me that I've ever had. 😊

I know this is an old thread but it has been so useful to read back through. The ADHD link is really interesting. I'm going to go through the thread & write some top tips for myself 😁 Thanks all.