How on earth do I stop procrastinating and get the motivation to get things done????

[BasmatiBitch]

I have read countless articles, blog posts and videos explaining the myriad of tips and tricks on how to stop procrastinating, get organised and get my shit together. Armed with this knowledge has meant I'm now great at advising others on how to get their shit together but not actually implementing any of it myself.

I've tried planners, apps, phone reminders, post it notes, set regular time aside and a whole lotta other stuff which I can't even remember but it turns out I'm astoundingly good at ignoring alerts and reminders and continue napping, googling, bingeing on Netflix or [insert any other time wasting but enjoyable activity].

Droves of people have found the book Atomic Habits literally life changing. I read it eagerly, hoping this was going to be the answer to my problems but thought meh, nice but not for me.

I can't be bothered to to do anything - and when I do its a mad dash at the last minute because I have no choice and I have to. I have no motivation or the get up and go attitude that I so desperately need. I function in mu job and home life and get the basics done but all the other stuff which I'd like to be on top of but aren't is the stuff that gets pushed to the wayside.

Anyone else relate?

@BasmatiBitch I wanna help you so much 😭 so:

starting my course which I was due to start in Dec but haven't done any work for. Its online and not essential. If I don't do it I would just lose my money - it's a short course so not £££
maybe just set aside 20mins, 3 evenings a week? Something like that, don't try and sit there and do absolutely loads of it because it won't work, literally set a timer for X amount of time, do the work you can in that time and then when the timer goes off, save it and stop. Once you're done go on your phone/have some down time. You might sometimes find that the timer goes off and you want to carry on because it's interesting?

I hate cooking but just can't get myself to do a meal planner
I go through phases with cooking sometimes I love it sometimes I absolutely f*cking despise it. Meal plans don't work for me, I do a weekly shop and I just think about what foods I really love, and I look at easy/quick recipes online for inspiration.
I usually do 3 meals a week that are 'home made', 3 meals that are easy (like frozen oven food lol) and then a takeaway each week. Some weeks I find myself enjoying the cooking part and cook more than that, but I just go off how I feel.

calling someone to book a service. Im avoiding this as she is a bit rude sometimes!
I fully get this, I hate phoning the doctors because the receptionist acts like the bouncer for the NHS and it winds me up lol. Literally just push yourself to do it, the more you think about it the more likely you are to not do it. Put the number in your phone and just ring them. If she's rude just come back onto Mumsnet and we will rant about her 🤣

cleaning - i find it boring. I am tidy but hate cleaning!
Make it a bit less boring for you (I stress the for you part) maybe do it in small spurts through the week? Like set aside 20 mins an evening, just do the essential stuff. I.e Mondays - kitchen, Tuesdays - vaccuum. And so on. I find cleaning boring so I'll put a funny podcast on or stand up videos on YouTube as I'm doing it, give myself something to listen to and laugh at as I'm doing it!

Start volunteering - i have been accepted to volunteer but keep putting it off and keep telling myself next week, next week.....that was before xmas!
It's not like me to say this, but, if you really aren't feeling that burning desire to do it asap, don't do it. Try not to sign yourself up for too many things, you can always go back to it!

i have 3 new appliances that i need to register the guarantees. I cant be bothered taking a photo of the serial numbers and sorting that.
Take this from somebody it's happened to!!!! Register the guarantees now!! I didn't with a washing machine once and kept thinking 'it's ok I'll do it next week' and before next week arrived it broke and I had to pay for a new one. Lol. Literally just do it, it's not even about the money, it's about how fucking temperamental appliances can be and how annoyed you would be if they broke before you did the guarantee. Do itttttt

Do you feel more motivated by spring? I do. So putting things off right now I allow myself until say March.

I found writing a nice list works a treat, as I see the list getting ticked off I get a bit of motivation to get the list finished faster so I can have a break/ have some me time before getting kiddos from school.

I could have written this myself (and yep, Atomic Habits…). Also fairly sure I have ADHD!

for me it’s the disconnect between what I rationally know is right / will be good for me / I should do and the cba in the moment. It’s a real struggle!

Sorry meant to say - can’t help but you’re not alone!

I am queen procrastinator and find that my phone is the ultimate procrastinating tool as I can always justify a reason to go on it and it is inevitably more interesting than what I should be doing. I find my brain is always craving that dopamine hit I get from my phone which strangely cleaning the toilet doesn’t give me! I think procrastinating has become a bit of a habit as well.

Ive tried apps and check lists but quickly fall off the bandwagon after a few days.
I have found that the organised mum clean alongs on patreon have helped a bit though.

I don't want to get all excited but I made a little bit of progress today..

I was WFH today so basically did the pomodoro method. Weirdly when working from home, I focus too much on work and don't get up for breaks and have even missed lunch. So far anyone who doesn't know what the pomodoro method is, you work on a task for 25 mins and have a 5 break then after 4 pomodoros take a longer 15-30 min break and start again..

So in my 5 min breaks, I did a couple of things like give a quick tidy of dcs room, make a couple of calls, tidy up a cupboard and hoover upstairs.

Then normally, I've finished everything by 6pm by which time I am on my phone or laptop on Google or netflix.

Today I put my phone in the knickers drawer and looked at my to do list - thought I'd try something I don't mind which were sorting my budgets/ finance spreadsheets out, sorted cover for the car and changed phone providers for my mil.

They're only small things but it's the most productive I've been in a while. Normally the car cover would have been done day before it expired and I would have changed phone providers a couple of months later. Contract finished in November so should have been done a while back.

Im not saying that this is the answer but I think getting rid of my phone has tremendously helped. Its way too early to tell but I think it will probably improve my mental health. I don't even have social media but I think too much screen time

That sounds like an incredibly productive day @BasmatiBitch

I had a good day by my standards (nothing like as good as yours)
Had a work meeting at 8am then completed some work for two more clients before lunch which would normally take me all day. Went for a frosty walk at lunchtime up the hill. Had some evening meetings so took the afternoon off and read half of a novel written by a friend. Then did the evening meetings.

Have barely been off screens all day though.

Marking place..

Another one here.

It annoys me because sometimes when I actually start doing a task I enjoy it. But other times I just feel so bored doing it.

Random things work for me at random times. Writing lists on my phone and actually adding a tick emoji when done. Make it quite a short list. But dd (diagnosed adhd) has said she feels terrible if she hasn't done the things.

Find a gripping audiobook or podcast that I'm keen to come back to and do my tasks then. However, listening to something can only work with some tasks. Plus I can procrastinate for ages searching for the best podcast or audiobook to draw me in. 🙄

I think that part of the problem is ‘decision fatigue’. When lists and actions get so complicated and overwhelming your brain just shuts off.

Flylady, whose website I used to visit myself years ago, was bang on the money when she warned about ‘crashing and burning’ which is when you get through a ton of stuff in a day, then spend the next month procrastinating and messing about because your organisational circuits have been overloaded and blown a fuse. Far better to stick to one or two tasks then build up into a routine that sticks (this may take many weeks) than try and achieve everything overnight.

as soon as I read your post op I was thinking “she sounds just like me” and I was diagnosed with ADHD in 2022. I am 45 (today!) and it all just makes bloody sense now.

i have loads of health problems and currently don’t work outside of the home so my issues are different to yours and mainly revolve around the house and the word that always comes back to me is “overwhelmed”, that’s how I feel a lot of the time.

i also have pretty severe anxiety and OCD ( both diagnosed and medicated ) and when I’m really anxious I sort of go into overdrive and want to do a million things at once and then crash and burn. It’s exhausting.

so many on this thread suspect ADHD may be an issue for themselves and the first port of call is your doctor. There are so many people in their 30’s, 40’s and older getting diagnosed and the waiting time is quite long but once the process starts it is pretty straightforward. Some of the things I’ve discovered about myself are amazing. I always thought I was an extrovert, I’m very much an introvert but have been masking for so long.

for me, lists work, sort of.
I prioritise and have my basics to do which are non negotiable which for me is beds, laundry,
dishes and then I give myself 3 jobs to do which I have been putting off and put no pressure on myself to do them and I find I do more that way.

we should have a spin off thread from this for those who have ADHD or suspect they do. I still feel there is a bit of a stigma attached to it and have always associated it with a naughty kid who has had too many E numbers which is so wrong of me. I am an educated woman with 2 kids and nobody would probably ever guess I have ADHD.

I also recommend Clutterbug on YouTube, she’s also a huge procrastinator and suspects she has ADD/ADHD and she just calms me down.
good luck with your imminent tasks!

Yep put down your phone and get off MN. Step one.

Thank you so much for your post, I bought a new (to me!) car a couple of days ago and you saying about you paying your car tax within an hour gave me a jolt of panic - I had forgotten to tax mine! Off to do it now, so it was incredibly helpful for me 😀

You sound EXACTLY like me. I've just received a diagnosis of ADHD.

Just wanting to place-mark as I could really use some strategies. I got a new job a few months back after years of crisis work. I can't believe how bad my procrastination has become. With crisis work I didn't have to worry to much as everything was "urgent" and had to be done now...but this new gig is bringing out the worst in me I think it stems from not being super confident and comfortable with the role yet but yikes.

You are me OP. Except I don't even have the motivation to read a book on have to improve it. I procrastinate over improving my procrastination problem.

I've got a very very senior position and most of it is winging it at the last minute and pulling all nighters. I've got two degrees and recently ran a marathon after being a non runner.

Id love to know what I could do if I wasn't a procrastinator!

Those who were diagnosed with ADHD. How did that help with procrastination Medication? Psychological support?

There is this book eat the frog.

I haven't read it but each time I need to do something I'll say that phrase

I also set aside ten minutes to do something

The book Seven habits of highly successful people is great.

• your to do list has to have a verb.So instead of"car", it would be "wash car", or even better"gather car cleaning supplies" "check weather, if sunny wash car" "save pod cast for washing car"

Keep working on your lists. If you haven't completed something, it could be both not urgent and not important

Try and do one not important/urgent thing every two wks

Go easy on yourself

All the best

Let me know when you know OP. I'm doing an MSc at 60 for work and it's amazing how often the fridge needs cleaning or I need to build the Taj Mahal in matchsticks rather than do my research.

Exactly!!

I get whatever's needed out the day before (or earlier in the day).
So the hoover is in the hall, or the ingredients (that don't need chilled) are out for the recipe, makes the job seem much quicker.

Tell me more. My son may need this. I’ve had a quick look….are you teamed with an actual person who is a procrastinator, and you keep each other accountable?

There's been mention of ADHD a few times and after reading about it, I've come away not sure as i only relate to a few symptoms. Also I was super focussed as a child, would get lost in a book for hours, was very focussed in class, had no problem doing projects. It's just this leaving everything to the last minute, that's the thing that I've always been like but as a child say prepping for an exam - I would start later than friends but did organise myself well enough to get it all done.

For those of you who were diagnosed in adulthood, what were your symptoms? Did you have the same symptoms in childhood? Have they gone worse in adulthood?

Another vice (which I'm doing now) is waking up to my phone and going through emails, Mumsnet, news etc. I do this everyday and waste an hour in bed after having promised myself I won't. I think I need to buy an alarm clock and put the phone back in the knickers drawer before bed. Maybe I have a phone / screen addiction?