How on earth do I stop procrastinating and get the motivation to get things done????

[BasmatiBitch]

I have read countless articles, blog posts and videos explaining the myriad of tips and tricks on how to stop procrastinating, get organised and get my shit together. Armed with this knowledge has meant I'm now great at advising others on how to get their shit together but not actually implementing any of it myself.

I've tried planners, apps, phone reminders, post it notes, set regular time aside and a whole lotta other stuff which I can't even remember but it turns out I'm astoundingly good at ignoring alerts and reminders and continue napping, googling, bingeing on Netflix or [insert any other time wasting but enjoyable activity].

Droves of people have found the book Atomic Habits literally life changing. I read it eagerly, hoping this was going to be the answer to my problems but thought meh, nice but not for me.

I can't be bothered to to do anything - and when I do its a mad dash at the last minute because I have no choice and I have to. I have no motivation or the get up and go attitude that I so desperately need. I function in mu job and home life and get the basics done but all the other stuff which I'd like to be on top of but aren't is the stuff that gets pushed to the wayside.

Anyone else relate?

You need to put your phone away, turn it off. I blame it completely for my procrastination issues.

Please can you say where you found the ASDD/ADHD tips.

I could have written OP's post.

I can't even finish Stolen Focus, I get so distracted. I spend all day on MN when not forced or obliged to do something else. Anything that is voluntary or can wait gets shoved aside.

placemarking for later..

You're not alone OP, I could have written your post. Unfortunately I have no answers!

Same here, I find it immensely difficult to get started unless there's a deadline/urgent need to get something done. I also suspect I have ADHD but haven't got round to speaking to my GP..
I have 2 toddlers at home and this makes it even harder as I cant focus on doing two things at once. The only thing that helps is trying to get everyone out of the house, put some music on and then just start 1 small task. Did this yesterday and managed to clean the whole house and cook a roast 😀

For me this works most of the time. My procrastination is anxiety based. Break it down into smallest steps possible and set a time limit. Then a reward when you finish each step and assess anxiety/fear level.

For example - First step is the breakdown, spend 20 mins doing that, then have a cuppa. Check how that felt. A positive outcome helps you onto the next step. You don't have to complete all the steps at once. When I'm really bad, I go for a step a day, anything more is a bonus. On a good day, I can get a whole task done. I never aim for more than one a day. I know my limits 😁 Try to remember how good it feels to finish a task and take that feeling through to the next one.

Yes, I relate! I know everything but can't apply it.

I also have ADHD. There are plenty of threads all over MN at the moment about how "everyone can't have ADHD!!" and bemoaning people sharing their experience but I will share anyway, in case it helps you.

There is procrastination, that is normal, everyone does it, usually these common techniques will help to some extent. If you find that ALL techniques fail, or feel that procrastination is controlling YOU rather than you being in control or it's actively creating negative situations/consequences in your life, then it might be worth looking at underlying causes (which could be depression etc not just ADHD).

For me, the solutions that work are often counter-intuitive or opposite to what most people find helpful.

For example:

Break tasks down into smaller sub-tasks. No, even smaller than that. This approach makes most people feel overwhelmed because suddenly their to-do list is ten times longer. For me, it makes each step much more manageable. However, the process of breaking the task down also uses up a huge amount of processing ability, so it's most helpful to do it for recurring tasks (e.g. cleaning the kitchen, making a phone call) and SAVE THE LIST somewhere to use next time you need it.

Also, giving myself permission to just do as many steps as I can manage, then stop. For example the steps for making a phone call are:

1. Find the correct phone number(s)
2. Plan out what I will say; write notes
3. Make the phone call
4. Write down the information or follow up task

The steps for posting a parcel are:

1. Locate the items to go in the parcel
2. Locate correct sized envelope or box
3. Weigh or measure parcel to find out postage
4. (If necessary, communicate postage costs to buyer/confirm)
5. Pack the parcel
6. Find the correct address
7. Address the parcel
8. Buy the postage
9. Stick the postage on
10. Place the parcel near the front door/on the buggy
11. Take the parcel outside
12. Place it in post box

I might do all of those things in one day. Or it might take me several days to complete all of these steps. However, if I am constantly thinking I can't half do a task, if I pack the parcel now then I have to take it to the post box now, that ca noverwhelm me to the point I freeze and don't start. Equally, if I need to go near the postbox I can become consumed with guilt about this parcel and not be able to get myself to put it together, that will also add stress to my leaving routine in general and contribute to the likelihood of me forgetting something (sometimes the parcel that I have panic got ready at the last minute!) or getting impatient with DC or leaving late or forgetting to do something important last-minute such as change DC's nappy or brush my hair or take the key out of the door.

Although it's not ideal when it takes me up to 11 days to post a parcel, that is still better than it getting forgotten for weeks and weeks or stressing me out consistently.

I can't use pomodoro timers. The idea of interrupting myself after 25 minutes is great but I can never stick to the 5 minute break - I will simply never return to the original task. Sometimes I can do reverse pomodoro, that is doing a short amount of work with a long break interspersed all day, but standard ones don't work for me personally (they do work for some people with ADHD, this seems to vary)

When decluttering/tidying, take it there right now - I used to try to organise by getting everything out and trying to sort it into piles. I think I'm being efficient in doing this because at the end of the organising session, I can just take one trip to the place where that pile lives, right? In reality, I rarely ever complete a whole task and when I do complete a task, the thought of doing that one last step (put the hoover away, take the pile to the correct room) is like climbing a giant wall, so often I think "I'll do it later" and then trip over it for days until it slowly disintegrates into a general mess again. Now when I am tidying/organising, I take whatever I have found in the wrong place to the right place immediately. It means that I probably take fewer things out of the place I'm trying to tidy/organise than I used to with my pile method, but I always finish putting away that one thing. If I remove 10 items and put them in their proper homes, that's better than if I remove 30 items and place them in piles on the floor where they continue to exist as more mess.

Start with the easiest task - the common advice is to "eat the frog first" - ie start with the hardest, gnarliest task that is bothering you the most. The idea is that everything after that will seem easy and you'll save stress. For me the opposite is generally true. If I try to start with the hard task I will ruminate and freeze and be unable to start. Start with the easy tasks and working my way up to the scary/gnarly one works much better.

Remove/add barriers in order to change motivation - I'm highly susceptible to the power of suggestion and easily distracted. I put stuff that I need to remember where I will see it - keys ALWAYS and ONLY go on a hook by the door, it's the first thing I install in a new house, and make distracting stuff harder to access - I turned all notifcations for social media off on my phone, removed all shortcuts on the main screen, added widgets for productive things instead and keep changing the way it sorts apps on the app screen so I can't use muscle memory to automatically open Facebook 100000000 times a day. I put my guitar next to my computer and added songs that I want to learn to play to my main playlist and that works well at getting me to play! I have a vacuum cleaner that I can easily grab in and out of a cupboard because getting out a large one that involves moving furniture = will only do it when I REALLY REALLY have to.

Magnify long term goals, gamify short term ones It's normal for everybody to find that short-term rewards (eat a cake now) more enticing than long-term goals (stick to diet plan, lose weight) but this is exacerbated in ADHD and anything long-term seems to be so far in the distance it is a tiny speck on the horizon, whereas "right now" seems to blink in our face like a lighted up neon sign. If you struggle with this you can help by creating some kind of visible, tangible, very real feeling mood board or other anchor for your long term goal, and then breaking down small pieces of progress towards it and looking at ways to incentivise yourself to complete those. I don't seem to be able to self-reward in terms of e.g. "If I write 100 words, I can have a cookie!" which brings me to the next tip:

Rely on external cues and rewards I managed to get to school on time during secondary school by being a slave to the TV schedule. If I got downstairs in time for Friends, I could get dressed in front of it and leave when it finished. If I was slower/later then I would miss the programme. Inviting people over so that you have to clean is a valid motivation.

Here are some more examples of things that would help most people, but do the opposite of help with ADHD:

I have found my people.

I suspect I have ADHD

I have spent years, a decade perhaps, trying to change my habits on and off.

I have spent money and time on solutions.

In childhood, I was the same. As a teen, I was the same. I'm now approaching my 40s and I'm the same.

I can spend a lot of time wasting time not doing things that need doing. My husband is the total polar opposite.

If somebody finds the magic fix, let me know.

I was recently diagnosed with adhd in my 40s. All makes sense now. I have a pretty senior job but everything is last minute and my house is a tip. Ironically the best tips come from tiktok but once you download that app you're doomed!!

See, this is what always used to baffle me (before I knew I had ADHD)

Yes, I can ban myself from social media, but I will spend the whole day reading articles or going on a wikipedia spiral.

I can disable the internet, but then I'll just play mindless phone games instead.

I can put the phone away or not turn on the computer. But then I'll just stick the TV on and watch it mindlessly.

If I have no access to TV, I will read. Whatever is around. Including instruction manuals/shampoo bottles.

If I have nothing to read I fall asleep. It's not because I'm tired, it's a kind of unbearable sleepiness.

There is no "You will find something to do" for me. It doesn't work that way. Apparently it's because of the dopamine deficiency. I will periodically do stuff that needs to be done, socialise, go outside etc but I'm not missing out on those things due to distraction, the distraction is chronic and will happen even if there is nothing to distract me. Now I have learned better ways to manage myself I don't get sucked into the vortex as much any more, get more of the productive stuff done (still not as much as "normal" but whatever) and I have found it's really not social media (or the computer or phone or whatever) that is the problem! It's me! I don't worry about it so much now I understand but it did used to bother me a lot.

I'm a bit scared of tiktok NGL

Podcasts are my saviour. Not only do they often have useful advice, I can only focus on them when my body is busy and my brain is not. That means I can clean, sort laundry, change bedding, tidy, exercise, or commute while listening but I can't get sucked into gaming, forums, reading. And I WANT to do these things so that I can get to the next podcast. See - external reward.

These are my favourite at the moment

A Slob Comes Clean
But Why?
Conspirituality
Dr. Ross Greene
ADDitude Experts
Stuff You Should Know
Freakonomics Radio
The Midwives' Cauldron
ADHD Essentials
The Psychology Podcast
Struggle Care

Also they don't have their own but anything where the following people are guests:
Russell Barkley (ADHD)
Tim Urban (Procrastination, explaining stuff in detail)

I do wonder if a lot of people wouldn’t have ADHD/ADD, be procrastinators if it weren’t for modern society/the internet/Netflix/the endless noise.

If depression is a sane response to a mad world, surely ADD/ADHD or just procrastination is a natural response - in a great many people, not all - to an information overloaded society.

Adhd meds sorted this for me mostly. Work now distracts me from my phone. 🤣

I have a board of post it notes where every single job is broken down into ones that take between 2 and 10 minutes. When the job is done, the note is moved down. For instance, instead of"clean bathroom", it's now clean toilet, clean sink, clean bath, sweep floor etc. This way nothing is overwhelming and shit gets done.

Yes guilty as charged 😱😂

This!

I didn’t have an issue with procrastination when I was at school (early 90s). It started when I got a computer at uni (hello Minesweeper and Solitaire) and got worse with the arrival of the internet and is a gazillion times worse since smart phones, social media, etc.

Although for me anxiety also makes it worse. I don’t procrastinate on tasks I know I can do or are easy. It’s when it’s difficult or the steps are unclear that I go into major avoidance mode.

Sorry - meant to quote @MmeDefrag

I struggled with this for years and it got so overwhelming for me, but over this last year- two years, I've gotten so much better with things!

I just started managing my time totally differently and approaching everything differently - I think the feeling after getting something done, we begin to not connect with the action of getting things done and we just lose motivation. Getting that little 'rush' back when you've completed something can help massively.

I'll explain below what I did -

I started by "shaking up" home life, making drastic changes in order to appreciate the little things & push myself out of the rut.

So I focused on the aesthetics of my house, when your surroundings become boring, your mindset does too.
I focused on one room at a time - start with the room you use most, for me it was the living room, I decided to redecorate it - it had all been plain magnolia for years, I spent time looking on Pinterest and finding rooms that looked pleasing to me and made a list of things I love, things I like to look at. I ended up painting 3 walls pale grey, and did a feature wall - I painted it all dark grey and then used masking tape to make different geometrical shapes, and painted them different colours, I did gold, navy blue and white. Once I'd decorated all of the living room it made me want to do other rooms! So I went through each room, thought about what I use that room for & tried to make them all fit for my needs and lifestyle. (I made my bedroom really dark, it's cosy and lovely to relax in now!)
Once all rooms had been decorated, I changed around all of the furniture, I thought about everything and had a massive clear out too (clear environment = clear mind!).
I then wanted to change more little bits, like lamp shades and curtains etc, I didn't have much money though! So I started going to charity shops and watching videos online of DIY stuff, purchased my own tool kits, I made some small tables on my own, I even made my own canvasses and hung them up!
(Side note - I think just the process of this gave me a lot of motivation in all aspects of my life. I'd wake up excited to make something for the house, but I'd want the house to be clean, so before doing anything I'd get the washing up and stuff done!)
I then thought about how I used to love house plants - so I bought houseplants for each room, nothing too hard to care for, just loads of easy care plants, without pots - I bought plain pots from charity shops and painted them myself to save some money lol. Another little project I loved.
Once every room was complete, I felt a massive amount of accomplishment and felt so much house pride, and because every room was enjoyable for me to live in - it's made me want to keep them that way! So I have my own little routine with housekeeping and keeping things looking nice.

With my work life - I found a new love in something I didn't know existed: up-cycling furniture, making furniture and making decor! Well, the job I had gave me little to no pleasure (however needing money to do everything, was enough motivation for me to do well) - but once I found out I was pregnant with my first, I worked my bum off, and ended up not returning after my maternity leave, I now make random furniture or upcycle it and sell it, I don't make loads of money but I thoroughly enjoy it and love it so much,

So with 'work' and home life, I now live by lists. Lol. I have a weekly list and then a daily list.
I have a rule in my head always - do the bigger jobs first, the smaller jobs will always fit in somewhere.
And as weird as it sounds, 'reward' yourself in some way for everything you do 🥳 it will give you a better sense of accomplishment and makes you want to do things! And ALWAYS set time aside for yourself/self care.

So for example, todays Monday, for me, Mondays are the days to: get laundry done, make sure the kitchen is clean (I have a certain day for a certain room), and then smaller jobs like clean the toilets and make sure cupboards are tidy. Then every Monday afternoon when my little one has his nap, I have a bubble bath and try to relax 🙈

I also have found a love for walking 🤷‍♀️ I walk absolutely everywhere, I do online virtual walking challenges, I count my steps, I compete with myself, so in my head it's always "if I can get X, Y, Z done by 1pm, I can go for a nice walk"

But don't be hard on yourself! All of the above is what worked for me, it won't work for everybody. But try to give yourself reasons to have motivation, if you have a nice home and work space, you'll want to look after it and work harder for it, the same goes for yourself, I always make sure I try to make myself feel good, if I feel good I'm more likely to look after myself!
It won't happen overnight, it will take time, so be patient, but definitely try to find little things in your life that make you feel good, and use them to push yourself further.

Xx

And I also have this rule not to sit down until things are done, I used to start cleaning my house then I'd sit down "for a quick brew" and end up hours deep into reading things on my phone and the house would still be a shit hole.

"Don't put off until tomorrow, what you can do today"

• I live by this too lol. My partner must get driven mad by me, but if something needs to be done or I have an idea, i get up and do it 🙈 it can be unhealthy sometimes and I do have to stop myself, but I will not wait for anybody or anything, if I have something I want to do - I get it done, and it makes me feel good x

This sounds like me. My issues didn't arrive with the advent of social media or the internet. I've always been like this, since childhood, but it has really got to the point now where it is extremely damaging. I'm so tired of it.

Has anyone else glanced over some of these really long posts and thought I bet there is lots of good information in there, I must come back and read it some other time" ....there's no hope for me!

Yep!

Designated phone free time daily. It's the only way.

So by basics I mean everyone is fed, important stuff is done, appts made, school stuff sorted, house is relatively tidy. We are all alive and things are ticking over okay.

It's stuff that isn't going to kill anyone if I don't do it. Some of it would even be useful to me but that doesn't seem to motivate me. So if I think about what would I'm currently avoiding:

• starting my course which I was due to start in Dec but haven't done any work for. Its online and not essential. If I don't do it I would just lose my money - it's a short course so not £££
• I hate cooking but just can't get myself to do a meal planner
• calling someone to book a service. Im avoiding this as she is a bit rude sometimes!
• cleaning - i find it boring. I am tidy but hate cleaning!
• Start volunteering - i have been accepted to volunteer but keep putting it off and keep telling myself next week, next week.....that was before xmas!
• i have 3 new appliances that i need to register the guarantees. I cant be bothered taking a photo of the serial numbers and sorting that.

There will be other stuff but these are from the top of my head. I don't have the motivation to do things esp if there is a bit of faff involved or stuff I don't enjoy doing. I avoid it for as long as I can get away with.

There's so many of you saying social media / phone and although i do not go on social media, my vice is probably the internet. I read news, articles, blogs. i just read crap, watch crap and probably waste so so much time on it. However, whilst online, I don't think I am wasting time though. I see it as a bit of me time, downtime, I deserve it surely?! 😂

Maybe you lot are right and i just need to throw away my phone, laptop and ipad....

I love sitting and reading stuff/watching stuff, I definitely think it's down time!! my fave thing to do, once the baby's asleep in his cot, I make a cup of tea, get some biscuits and I sit in bed watching Instagram reels 🙈🤣

If that's your downtime then don't ditch it, we all need down time!!