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Original poster

Husband not home

82 replies

worriedwifey27 · 14/01/2023 05:09

My husband had a work do this eve and said he'd be home around midnight. He then messaged on a colleague's phone around 1am saying he was drunk and his phone was locked in another office.
I missed a call from his phone an hour later as I was asleep. Haven't been able to sleep properly since as kept waking up. It's now gone 5am and he's still not home. It's so out of character so I'm now worried about him. This is because he takes our daughter to an activity on Sat morning like clockwork and would need to be In a couple of hours with her. He's a really good husband and parent I'm not worried about him cheating etc.
What do I do? How do I find him? What time is it acceptable to message the colleague who's phone he messaged me off?
My mind keep jumping to all sorts of awful scenarios.

OP posts:
mallardducks · 14/01/2023 05:10

F

Nimbostratus100 · 14/01/2023 05:15

hes drunk and late? Most likely just fallen asleep at colleagues house

Original poster
worriedwifey27 · 14/01/2023 05:16

I hope so! It's just weird as he's up early on Sat morning to take our daughter to an activity. It's something they do together each week.

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Eyerollcentral · 14/01/2023 05:18

Try to go back to sleep, he’ll be asleep on a couch. Can you take your daughter to her activity tomorrow? He will probably not be fit to once he gets home. Don’t message the colleague before 9am

Original poster
worriedwifey27 · 14/01/2023 05:21

Thanks for the replies. I've tried sleeping but just toss and turn. Yes I can take her if needs be. He's never been crap about something like this before. He's really reliable, hence my concern.

OP posts:
gingerhamster · 14/01/2023 05:27

Is he far from home? Maybe he struggled to get a taxi and was ringing to let you know. I would message the phone he rang from, but not until after 7am.

Original poster
worriedwifey27 · 14/01/2023 05:28

Yes I was thinking 7am was reasonable as well. What do I say to my daughter about where he is? She's only 4.

OP posts:
Eyerollcentral · 14/01/2023 05:29

if he is not usually out he has probably just gotten a bit carried away. He’ll be back w his tail between his legs and green around the gills.

Original poster
worriedwifey27 · 14/01/2023 05:30

I really hope so @Eyerollcentral I've now got bad heartburn which is making sleep even more difficult to get back to sleep. Have clearly stressed myself so much it's come on.

OP posts:
Eyerollcentral · 14/01/2023 05:31

Just say Daddy had to stay at a friend’s as there were no taxis, he’ll be home soon. Make it an adventure you are taking her out instead of him, try not to make it a big deal

redheadcurl · 14/01/2023 05:31

Sore head for him this morning. I think if anything was wrong his colleague would have been in touch.
I understand your concern and I would be exactly the same. Hopefully he will be home very soon.

Eyerollcentral · 14/01/2023 05:32

Have a glass of water and put on an audio book or talk radio and you’ll go back to sleep, well it works for me!

Original poster
worriedwifey27 · 14/01/2023 05:32

Ok I guess I'll have to say something like that. She's going to find it so weird if he isn't here when she wakes up.

OP posts:
Namechanger355 · 14/01/2023 05:32

You seem overly concerned about his safety here - he messaged you saying he was drunk and also called you at 2am.

Surely would be more worrying if he didn’t call you. He will be sobering up somewhere and will find a way to message you tomorrow or will come straight home. So you should take your child to the activity.

don’t call the colleague before 8am

Original poster
worriedwifey27 · 14/01/2023 05:33

Thanks for all your replies. The night time can make you feel so alone. Heading for a glass of water now.

OP posts:
Mumdiva99 · 14/01/2023 05:33

If you missed a call from his phone surely he now has it back. (Or do you mean you missed a call from colleagues phone?)

He'll be back. Don't call the colleague. He'll come home soon or will call you again.

Tell your child daddy stayed out because he was having fun.

Eyerollcentral · 14/01/2023 05:33

It will be a novelty. It won’t worry her if you don’t show you are worried

Namechanger355 · 14/01/2023 05:34

worriedwifey27 · 14/01/2023 05:32

Ok I guess I'll have to say something like that. She's going to find it so weird if he isn't here when she wakes up.

good that it’s infrequent - but it’s not the biggest deal in the world like you are making it

Original poster
worriedwifey27 · 14/01/2023 05:38

@Namechanger355 I know I may seem overly concerned/anxious it's because it's out of character. We live in a big city it's not hard to get an Uber and get home. I can't explain what the activity is because it's very outing, it's something unique to them that they do together every Saturday. It's also not easy for me to get here there, he usually drives her. I'll have to take her on public transport or in a cab. He knows this it's much more faff without the car.

OP posts:
redheadcurl · 14/01/2023 05:40

Can you not say he's been called into work early this morning. Then she doesn't need to know he's been out all night?

Original poster
worriedwifey27 · 14/01/2023 05:41

@Mumdiva99 he text off a colleagues phone. Then one missed call an hour later from his phone. Anyway the general consensus seems to be I'm being overly anxious so I'm Gona try and focus on that and get a bit of sleep before I have to get up with my chIlld.

OP posts:
Original poster
worriedwifey27 · 14/01/2023 05:42

@redheadcurl good idea!

OP posts:
YetiTeri · 14/01/2023 06:06

Don't worry about waiting most phones go onto silent so you're unlikely to wake them up. And if you do that's also fine, it's not a spam call.

Merlinsbeard83 · 14/01/2023 06:33

Even if he makes it home in time. He was obviously to drunk to be driving your child early this morning

Nothing2lose · 14/01/2023 06:35

I had this issue with my ex years ago. He too was someone I knew wouldn’t cheat, more likely to get too drunk and forget how to get home. I worried endlessly he was in a ditch dead or hit by a car. At 7.30am I text his friend who replied instantly to say my boyfriend was asleep on the sofa at his.

boyfriend had indeed gotten blind drunk and passed out on a mates sofa. I was just so worried that night as it was so unlike him and it was a hideous storm that night so hard to get a taxi! (I’d come home at midnight from the same venue).

fingers crossed he’s safe, I’m sure he is. x

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